Brotherly love or social isolation? - siblings at school, help!!!

[shimmy21]

Ds2 goes up to juniors next term where he'll be in school with ds1 again. Ds2 is telling me that he will spend all his playtimes playing with ds1 and not his current friends any more. I've tactfully tried to suggest that he doesn't abandon his current mates (or when ds1 leaves he'll be Jonny-no- mates) but he doesn't agree - saying 'Oh, my friends don't mind.'

I'm all for brotherly love and harmony but am really worried that ds2 will isolate himself from his own year group. He did this when he was in reception and ds1 was at his school then. It took him a nearly all of Yr1 to break into the established social groups when ds1 had moved up.

Anyone else dealt with siblings who cling to each other?

I don't have any experience of siblings at school yet, but I would continue to try and encourage him to stay with his mates. How old is your DS1? Do you think if you had a word with DS1, he could try and do the same as you in trying to keep DS2 with his friends?

Sorry, I'm not much help but at least this will be bumped for you and hopefully some wise mner will be along soon.

Thanks for the bump Maddison!

Ds1 is 9 and pretty mature. I know he would understand the issue but I think it would be quite hard to ask him to discourage ds2 from playing with him. first because that would feel like asking him to be unfriendly to ds2 and second because they do get on very well together as mates.

Is separate schools out of the question?

In my area we have 2 excellent middle schools less than a quarter of a mile apart. When ds1 and one of our fostered boys (same year, same age) changed to middle schools, we separated them so they could establish their own peer groups.

The only other thing I can think of is to chat with the mum of a friend of your ds2. See if you can encourage your ds2's mate to entertain him and make an extra effort at the brginning of the term to include him in the games they play. Persuade your ds1 to tactfully say he is going to be busy so your ds2 will have to play with his own friends. or maybe set aside one day per week when your 2 boys play together and on the other days ds2 has to play with his own mates?

Hi QE, separate schools not an option here. I think I will be going your suggested route of trying to nurture ds2's friendships as much as I can (lots of friends to play over the holidays).

Just had the idea of making one be a school dinner and the other packed lunch which would mean they were at lunch play at different times. Mmm, how do I persuade them that that's a good idea?

Was going to suggest the diff lunch thing. Could you alternate them?

Def good idea to get 2 or 3 playmates over during the holidays.

Sorry Shimmy, I thought that was a silly idea as soon as I posted it!

I think QE has the right idea and I def think that the different meals different times is a good idea too. Hopefully they won't object to this!

Good luck xx