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Changing primary school dilemma

6 replies

chasingtail · 26/11/2013 12:56

So I posted on here back in June with concerns regarding my DCs Head and the constant churn of teachers.

This school year both DCs have new teachers (again!) and while DS' yr 4 teacher seems excellent we have growing worries about DD in Yr 1.
DD finished Reception a supremely confident, school loving child who was progressing really well. Since September she has shown decreasing interest in learning, is tearful when I drop her off, and has nothing good to say about her teacher. I am told she is often playing on her own and doesn't seem to have that many friends. At the time I was mindful that transition from Reception to Yr 1 can be quite difficult, so tried not to read too much into it.

However, At parents evening, it was evident that the teacher barely even knew DD, could not really comment on progress and contradicted herself on several occasions. Looking through DDs work books, very little seemed to have be done in the 6 weeks since start of term and my biggest gripe is that 1:1 reading is only done ONCE A WEEK! When we queried this the teacher said (very defensively) this is the same in other schools and as parents "you should be reading at home with DD". Was flabbergasted and retorted that whilst we do read every night, surely it was also the schools job to be reading 1:1, esp while the children are so young. We have been told that there is plenty of community voluntary resource for reading, so why the lack of input?

Other niggles were that the only comment she could make about DD was that she was 'strident' and that DD worked best sat at back of class, with her back to the room ??! Although she counteracted by saying focused work always takes place on floor in front of her.

Came away from the meeting fuming, with overwhelming sense that teacher couldn't give toss about DD and DH adament that there was no way she could carry on being taught by this teacher.
To make matters worse DD is in a mixed class of Yr 1 and 2, so would have this teacher for another 18 months.

Fast forward, and teacher has been off sick since half term, apparently with a bad back but I suspect it may be stress, as many other parents have also voiced concerns. In the meantime DD is being taught by a stream of supply teachers and no date has been given for the teachers return.

I have had a meeting with the Head to address our concerns but she says she cannot really comment until the teacher returns, which to me sounds like a bit of a cop out. As explained previously a huge part of the problem is the Head, none of her staff seem to want to stay and as a result she is making (I believe) some quick and poor judgements on replacements. However she has no plans to go anywhere and frankly don't think we have any time left to 'wait and see'.

In the meantime we have been looking at other schools and whilst I would move DD tomorrow, am really torn as to the best thing for DS. He is doing 'ok' but seems to like his teacher and has got lots of friends. Don't really want to send them to separate schools but want to make sure we make the best decisions for both of them.

Any advice gratefully received.....

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PastSellByDate · 26/11/2013 13:24

Hi chasing -

I've so been there (and am still there) with my DDs.

My advice is this unless you know the next frying pan you are jumping into is definitely going to be better for both DCs, I'd be hesitant to change schools.

We've opted for the half-way house. DD1 is in Y6 so there's no point moving schools so late in the day and we have DD2 down to transfer at an over-subscribed school which is equidistant. We may or may not manage to get her transferred - but psychologically I feel at least I'm trying.

In the meantime I do more at home with my girls and try to ensure that the basics of the 3Rs - reading/ writing/ arithmetic are sound.

I try to focus on what I can do at home to help things keep ticking over and to help when one of my DDs doesn't understand something they've done at school that day. Both DDs have got used to talking about what they did at school and whether they found it hard or not. In most cases for maths there's usually some fun video game we can play which can help. (We usually use woodlands junior school MathsZone: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/maths/) So the DDs have learned it isn't a problem if they got stuck in class and the teacher didn't get to them - we can usually sort it out at home.

HTH

chasingtail · 26/11/2013 14:17

Hi Past, thanks for you reply. Kind of feel 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' - typical Mum's guilt trip!

The school we have in mind to move to is actually our catchment school; we didn't consider it originally as we knew more people at their current school. It is twice as big and has much more going on within school time and extra curricularly (sp?)

Hand on heart can't say it is the school of our dreams (are any?) but I like the vibe and that the teaching staff all seem to work as a team, rather than the Head dictating the score to disgruntled teachers.

The DCs also know many of the children at the new school so wouldn't be a total upheaval.

God, either way just don't want my kids to turn round to me one day and say I ruined their life but changing/not changing their school! Is Yr 4 too late to be moving DS? Confused

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potterpaint · 26/11/2013 14:58

I would move them. The head sounds hopeless so it is unlikely to get better. they already know people and can keep in contact with other friends. I swapped my dd in Y3 and it was a great decision.

Our school only reads once a week one-to-one though - that doesn't seem such a problem to me. And not much was done in the first six weeks of Y1 either, which I did think was bad.

potterpaint · 26/11/2013 14:58

Oh and two new kids just joined in Y5 and seem to be doing very well, as do the two kids who joined in Y4. Don't worry - just do it!

PastSellByDate · 26/11/2013 15:00

Chasing:

All I can say is our school has had a lot leave and replacements arrive late Y3 and just a few weeks ago in Y4.

I'm one of those Mum's who really feels you ought to make a point of encouraging your child to introduce themselves and going up and introducing yourself to new parents.

Absolutely hear you on the no win situation. Social vs. academic. Convenient or great sports vs. unhappy atmosphere/ unhelpful or uninterested teaching staff.

Personally we take the view that it's more important to get the secondary thing right than primary. If socially they're o.k. just do more at home (and fortunately ours are - DD1 has always been in a great year and DD2 is much happier in her class now that the dust has settled in the playground pecking order).

So I do a part-time job and then also do an unpaid job as 'tutor' to my girls. I'm just hoping that I'm not teaching Physics for GCSE just supporting revisions (buying in workbooks/ signing up to something on-line/ maybe supplying some snacks) and this major helping out thing (where I'm the one teaching skills at home for the first time) will stop once DD1 starts senior school.

redskyatnight · 26/11/2013 15:06

Well you are obviously not happy ....

But I did feel I ought to point out that 1:1 reading once a week is pretty good! In Y1 my DC had guided reading every week, but only read 1:1 about every 2 or 3 weeks. You may well find that any school you move her to actually provides less reading than you have currently.

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