DD yr 3 desperately lonely at new school.

[knickernicker]

DD s wondering around alone at play times. There are only 3 other girls in her class. They try to include her but she doesn't often chose to play with them. She says she's lonely and hates school. The other girls like to stand and chat. In her old school, she gravitated to girls who played imaginary games, made dens, put on shows, ran around wildly etc. She feels that going off on her own is preferable to trying o improve friendships. She hates it.
I feel sick about having moved her, though I felt and still do that academically she's doing far betterehere she now is. Can I help her improve this situation? Form teacher is nice but her response is, girls have tried to befriend her, if she walks off that's her choice. I think yes it is het choice, but she's not happy having made it. What to do?

What about the boys? They love running around and playing imaginary games. Has she tried to befriend any?

She's not keen to play with boys. In her old school, there were some boys who her group played,alongside but in this situation Boys d wouldn't be an option. She just wants some like minded girl friends.

Hi knickernicker:

First off your DD is absolutely entitled to feel sitting around chatting (especially if it's a bit catty) really isn't for her. However, she should be encouraged to be friendly to everyone (girls & boys) in the class, say hello, pay a compliment, ask what they're doing, etc....

Second - have a good look around the playground. Are there other things to do? Hopscotch, skipping ropes, bars, climbing frame, scooters, etc... If so point them out to her and suggest she just does it on her own.

Third - quiet by nice activities - does the school allow them to draw with chalks on the playground? Can she bring out paper & a pencil and draw something. Can she bring out a book?

Fourth - trust in time. Time will pass and she will have shared experiences with these kids and that will result in friendships. She may even make friends in other forms/ years because they all have recess together. Certainly consider signing her up for an after school activity or two - so that she's having time with friends outside the normal day to day of school.

A combination of #2-#4 will mean that she will be occupied during play times and that hopefully gradually she'll have friends to play with.

DD2 didn't like endlessly playing tig in her class - she was usually chosen to be 'it' and several girls kept changing the rules every time she caught them. So she started to do her own thing. Playing hopscotch on her own - at least she was enjoying herself or building landybug shelters/ rescuing insects from the playground. Gradually people would drift by and ask what she was doing, she'd explain and ask if they wanted to join in/ help - and now she has quite a group of friends who play with her. She's not their BFF perhaps, but they know they can play nicely and quietly with her when they don't feel so well, they don't want to play that game again, etc...

This didn't happen over night - I'd say it took 2-3 terms, but I can genuinely say now she's in Y4 - things are much happier and she's learned to be her own best company, which is no bad thing.

HTH

what about girls in other classes? It would be very bad luck that ther are no likeminded girls anywhere in the school! DS hates football and spent Y2 in a football mad class - he simply played with children elsewhere in the school.

Thank you past sell by. Appreciate your tips. The playground in New school is a bit barren. A hop scotch grid and sometimes some skipping ropes. Just a large square.
There are only 16 children in her year group. The y4 girls do elaborate dance routines together.
I would like to help Dr to try to be more social. She is too nervous to make the first move or even to say hello.