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Friendship dramas - please share your words of wisdom

7 replies

LaCerbiatta · 25/11/2013 15:54

Dd just turned 8 and is in year 3. She's very social and has always been popular. Her friends are everything to her and she's always loved school because of that.

She has a group of 4 other girls she is closest to but one of them has always been her best friend. They've always played really well together, been to each other houses on playdates, etc.

But now dd is saying that her best friend often says she doesn't want to pay with her anymore and her and the other 3 girls run away from her and exclude her from playing.

Now, I know this is really really minor stuff in the grand scheme of things, it may not even be as bad as dd puts it and in a few weeks it may have gone back to the way it used to be, but..... dd is absolutely devastated about this. She wrote a letter to santa asking for a new friend and can't go to sleep at night being anxious about it :(

So, what do I tell dd? Not only to console her but to advise her on how to deal with all these with her friends.

I should add that I spoke to her teacher last week and he mentioned the playground dramas so it's obviously ha penning a lot....

thank you so much for your help!

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LaCerbiatta · 25/11/2013 17:49

Bump

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IsobelEliza · 25/11/2013 18:13

I think it is quite common. The teachers in my children's school will find alternative playmates for situations like these until your daughter finds new more reliable friends. I feel for you and her. It is painful but may be sorted out soon.

CarolineDeWinter · 25/11/2013 18:29

I'd ask the school exactly what they are going to do about it.

intitgrand · 25/11/2013 18:57

Please try not to worry too much.
Girls this age are very fickle and a pound to a penny your DD will be back in favour next week andsome other poor wretch on the receivuing end.
But if it continues

  1. Talk to the teacher. He or she cannor force the girls to be friends with your DD but they should insist that no one is treated unkindly. 2 Encourage her to widen her circle of friends both in and ut of school.
lljkk · 25/11/2013 19:00

I would mention it to teacher but they can't do a lot. I'd invite the other girls around to encourage good friendship, alliances are constantly shifting at this age.

Ubik1 · 25/11/2013 19:01

I think most of us have been through sad little love triangles at this age. It's horrid but it's also a learning experience. It can make her more resilient.

Can you give her stuff to do - a book to read, or drawing or some toys - to play with if she ends up on her own? Are there any other girls you could invite home for tea?

LaCerbiatta · 26/11/2013 09:40

Thanks all.
I'll definitely speak to the teacher if it gets more dramatic. Another mother told me her boy is having trouble with friendships and the teacher organised a little club for him and others in the same situation so he does take action. Dd doesn't know about this club so her problems aren't really that dramatic which is good.

she came home a lot happier yesterday, apparently her best friend liked her again so it's all indeed very fickle!

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