Violent child in school

[Mumtogremlins]

Not sure whether to post this in preschool or here. My DD is in a school nursery, so part of the school, not separate. There is a child in the nursery who is quite violent, deliberately hitting the other children on a daily basis - lots of deep cuts, bruises, carpet burns etc. The parents are of a culture that think this behaviour is the norm so don't really care

I'm really concerned, as are other parents, that a child will be seriously hurt soon, but not sure what to say to the school. It feels wrong to say a 3 year old is bad, but he's got no hope if the parents aren't bothered. I don't know if he has a SEN but looking at his parents attitude, I would guess probably not.

Do we have any rights to say anything to the school? The nursery teachers aren't happy either but can the school exclude a 3 year old? I will go mad if my DD gets seriously hurt by him

Thanks

I share your worry as we also have a child like this in my daughter's reception class although perhaps not quite as extreme. If (when?) your child is seriously hurt then I would recommend reporting it to the police. That will send a serious message to the parents that might get through when nothing else does.

I have been here in year 2. You can only tackle incidents where your child is hurt, you will not be told what is happening to the other child.

I wouldn't wait until a child is hurt. I'd send a letter to the manager of the nursery now, expressing your serious concerns and listing any incidents that you know of.

I think it sounds like there are repeated problems and therefore you have valid concerns. They can't tell you anything about the other child BUT they are duty bound to ensure the safety of your child so they have to take it seriously and they should be able to reassure you sufficient procedures are in place to make sure no serious incidents occur. If a child is that much of a problem then they need a full time member of staff watching just that child. That is up to the nursery to sort out either because of SEN requirements or some other way but they have to do it. you can't wait until something worse happens.

Thanks. I know its a delicate situation and they won't be able to tell me much. One little boy had to have a cut on his head glued together as it was so bad. The child did have someone watching him for a while but they are not there any more. I might have a word with the teacher and see what they are doing about it

Could have written this post myself op. My issue is also that even though the violent boy in his nursery has kicked him in the back and punched him in the face he seems to think this boy is his friend, im . I keep telling ds to stay away from him and that he is not a friend. The boy a few weeks ago punched 4 kids in the face at a birthday party . I really hope my ds finds new boys to play with in class, i dont know what the nursery can do about it either. I wondered if i could ask for them to not be sat together in class? Ds does often avoid him sometimes though.

School can do nothing until he actually goes there. They can no stop him getting a place on the say so of parents or even nursery workers.
It is not your place to speak to the school. You would just be seen interfering. It is up to nursery I make sure school is fully aware of this boys issues.
You need to speak with nursery. It doesn't sound like they are doing all that much to deal with it. Behaviour like this s a form of special needs and it sounds like he needs some support.

Smartiepants I think the OP refers to the school because the nursery is part of the school. that is how I understand it anyway.

PolterGoose, what was the school not doing that would have prevented your child from being violent?

Yes, you can raise this with the school. I had a similar situation with LA playgroups with one specific child. It took several people raising concerns before the mother's HV was contacted (or however it works, certainly her hv is very involved now) and the parents are receiving support they hadn't realised they needed - but the mother is very happy about it now! She has no idea who referred her.

She kicked up a lot of fuss at first (boys will be boys, nanny state etc) but she has said that her life is happier now her DC is getting more help and she has done a parenting course.