Is it normal for reception aged children to be left alone in the school sick room if their parent/carer is late? to collect them?

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I feel awful as I was about 20 minutes late to pick up my little girl today due to unexpectedly heavy traffic. I arrived to find her alone in the school sick room, crying quietly and very upset as she thought I wasn't coming to get her. :( Obviously it is absolutely my fault that I was late and therefore mostly my fault that my daughter was so sad and obviously I will try to ensure it never, ever happens again. At the same time I can't help feeling quite disappointed in the school. My daughter is only just 4 and she was worried and sad and no one was supervising her, so no one noticed or reassured her that I was very nearby and on my way (I phoned to say I was on my way and really sorry etc). Is this approach normal?

We don't have a sick room so not the same circumstances but a poorly child waiting for Mum would either wait in the classroom ( perhaps sitting quietly in the home corner) or in the entrance hall outside the office-if they were feeling sick/infectious! The office staff would keep an eye on them but we don't have any spare staff that could stay with just one child, all our staff are fully occupied!

Children who have parents running late spend the first 10mins in the class with the teachers. Then move to the entrance area where office staff can see them.

The sick bay is for poorly / injured children. But that is also near the offices so staff are around.

She wasn't poorly. I was late for pick up at 3.30. I guess the sick room doubles as a "lateroom"? Her teacher and the nursery nurse were in the classroom with no other children. Perhaps the office staff were supposed to be keeping an eye on her (the office is nearby) but no one was with her and she was quite upset. She is very little still and even though it is all my fault, that is not her fault, iyswim.

You don't know she was there alone for 20 minutes, though. In fact, it can't have been much longer than 5 or 10 really, by the time the teacher had dismissed the rest of the class, realised you weren't there, and brought her up to the office. And there might well have been someone there, or popping in and out, but they just happened to have nipped off somewhere as you actually arrived.

My apologies, I misunderstood the circumstances!

If I knew you were running late I would keep a child in the classroom ( a good way to get the tidying up done!) until you arrived UNLESS I had a meeting/club to attend, in which case your child would have to sit in the entrance hall with the office staff keeping an eye out for them.

why did she think you weren't coming? I see uncollected children nearly every time I have stayed late at school for any reason and they have never been crying.

One of my robust Y4 boys was taken ill this afternoon - Mum couldn't get there for a while. He curled up in a ball on one of the chairs in Reception and went fast to sleep! Bless him, didn't even stir when I gently woke him to say Mum was here.

The only time I've been late picking DD up she was 'helping' the school secretary (I say helping, I doubt it was actually helpful, more just keeping her busy). DSs school tends to get the younger ones to tidy up the waiting room opposite the office or they sit in the office colouring, older ones are encouraged to do their homework or read. The office staff may nip off and leave them for a minute or two but not normally if they were upset and never for long.

Our school is quite hard core about late pick ups after years of piss takers - not saying you were OP but there used to be lots at our school.

If a child isn't collected by the time the last parent leaves the playground they are taken to the ASC and the parent is billed for the full session plus IIRC £20 admin charge for an ad-hoc place.

There are very few late pick ups at our school since this got implemented.

At our school, the children always wait with a teacher - usually their own teacher, but they might hand over to a colleague if they need to be somewhere else. DH has been late for dd on two or three occasions and dd loves it because she likes having the 1:1 time with her teacher!

Sorry jinsei but teachers aren't available for 1:1 childcare and attention for children after school! We're not free childcare.

Out school too has had to get hardcore about after school pickups and we do the same re sending to after school club. With over 400 kids in the school and at least half a dozen every day being picked up late, there was little choice. Hardly ever happens now, interestingly.

I imagine she was asked to wait in the sick room as it was a convenient "out of the way" place. As others have said, I suspect she was only there for 5 minutes or so and I expect she would have had adults popping in to check she was ok. Actually quite possible that her teacher/office staff told her to wait in there while they tried to get hold of you, and while they were off hunting up your phone number, you arrived.

It's standard procedure at my DDs' school. When I couldn't find DD2 (she normally walks around to meet us in DD3's class) I told DD3's teacher and she said 'first stop, medical room..' There she was.

The class teachers often have to go off for meetings/do prep, so the medical room is a safe place near the office.

I think she thought I wasn't coming because I've never been late before. Thanks for your input everyone. As I said at the beginning, this is fairly and squarely my fault for being late. I'm probably projecting my own guilt onto the school, tbh. I was just a bit sad that she appeared to be alone and that no one had noticed how upset she was but as several of you have said there were probably people popping in and out. Hopefully she had not been upset for long and someone would have noticed and comforted her had I not arrived when I did. I am not a piss taker (I think- I suppose I would say that wouldn't I?!) and totally agree that school staff are not there to care for my child after school but because I think of her school as a very caring, nurturing place I was a bit disappointed, probably very unfairly, to find her on her own and crying. I would have preferred to have received a hard core bill for an after school club session in a way!

Of course, for most people it is a one-off unavoidable episode, but from the school's point of view, particularly in a large place, you have to times that by many more people.

And you'd be surprised how many people do actually take the piss and use it as free childcare. As evidenced by the fact that it hardly ever happens now we've begun charging for after school club.

Your poor DD. I was late once to collect my daughter because I hadn't realised a particular club she goes to wasn't on that week and she was very upset. But she wasn't left on her own. She was in the actual office with the office staff having a go on someone's twirly chair. I am sure they knew I wasn't taking the piss as I had never previously been late in over a year of school pick ups or drop offs.

Are you sure she was crying before you got there OP? I only ask because in that situation DS would be likely to manage a stiff upper lip, and say he was fine, until he actually saw me, and dissolved into a soggy heap. If that is likely then it could be that she did not seem that upset prior to you arriving.

I'd have stayed with her or brought her to my classroom. I've also walked them home if I'd got hold of you and you were there (this is a school set in a housing estate). Even if you were taking the piss it's not the child's fault and I wouldn't leave her alone, especially at that age.

When I was teaching, we usually held on to then for 10-15 minutes, then took them to sit outside the secretary's office, with any other uncollected children. There were usually a few waiting together.

Sorry jinsei but teachers aren't available for 1:1 childcare and attention for children after school! We're not free childcare.

Erm, I'm well aware of that. Where did I say that they were?

DH has been late two or three times since dd started reception. She is now in year 4, so that's no more than three times over four and a half years, and not more than 15 minutes on any occasion. On one of those occasions, DH had received a call from overseas just before pick-up to say that his older brother had died, he was in a state of severe shock. On the other occasions, there were delays with public transport but I can't recall if he managed to just made it on time for one of them or not.

We know how hard teachers work and we would never abuse their good will by assuming that they can just babysit our child at the end of the day. However, there are inevitably times when parents may be delayed, and children may be upset or anxious about this. My point was simply that the lovely teachers in our school manage to turn a potentially upsetting situation into a positive one for the child. I am not saying that all teachers should do this, but I am very grateful that ours do.

"dd loves it because she likes having the 1:1 time with her teacher!"

That was what gave me the thought. As I say, 3 or 4 times for you; for our school, multiply it by 420+ and there's a real problem over the course of time. Of COURSE we deal with it and it's not the child's fault, but it's a bit rich to seem to be sniffy about the perceived quality of care given in the OP's case.

You sound lovely, panzee. Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. I'm happy to say that my daughter seems to have recovered fully from her sadness at yesterday's lateness debacle. My partner said he was shitting himself when it came to pick up today as he was so anxious not to be so much as a second late!

About a year ago I had a phone vall 15 mind before school pick up leaving time to tell me my uncle haf unexpectedly passed away. I mafe it to school for pick up in tears and got "told off" (in a kind and caring way) by a teacher for nit taking the time to iust digest my news. She said they would happily have looked after the children for a bit. So a lot will depend on the school. Perhaps also the parent as ove 7years of having children in the school I ahve been late twice

Speaking as a infant teacher, I'd have been surprised if she'd been there more than about 5 minutes.
If I have a parent who is late, generally I'll hang around the usual "pick up door" with the child, and when 95% of the parents who are hanging around have wandered off, I'll take the child up to the office.
I'll inform the office staff, who will have the child sitting in the office with them. Then I'll leave them there. HOWEVER, if they are clearly upset (some little ones do get quite distressed quite quickly when mum/whoever has gone against what the child is expecting by being late), then of course, I wouldn't leave them then. I'd stay with them, or take them back to the classroom and find them a "job".

However, in your case, it was just one of those things, but we do have parents that take the piss. They wander in when they fancy, and never apologise. We're just free childcare to them.

Please always apologise when you are late, and have a decent excuse ready. Teachers are generally nice folk, but we don't appreciate having to spend that extra 15 mins in "teacher mode" when it's not necessary. Not to mention the fact that by doing extra babysitting, we're being held up from doing other jobs, that ultimately delay us getting home to our own families/lives.