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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Student Council Election - Major Stress

19 replies

GColdtimer · 14/11/2013 13:17

DD is in year 3 and wants to stand for the student council election (every year 3-6 class has a rep, there are 6 classes). Her two friends are also standing and one of them is probably the most popular girl in the class. DDis worried that she will not get any votes at all but still wants to do it as she is desperate to be on the council.

Her little speech is very good but she is plauged by anxiety about getting "no votes". I fear she is right - it is likely that everyone will vote for the most popular girl in the class which will leave DD feeling utterly demoralised and even more rejected that she does at the moment (she has had lots of problems forming friendships in this new class and she is really missing her Grandma who she was incredibly close to and died fairly recently). However, what message does that send her if I say "yeah, don't bother you are not going to get voted on".

So, how do I be encouraging yet realistic? I fear this will end in tears and at the moment she is so emotional and unhappy I am not sure she will cope very well.

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LittleMissGreen · 14/11/2013 13:27

It was the same with DS1 from yr2-6. Every year he was so desperate to get onto, but so also anxious about the council. He has Aspergers so isn't naturally popular very large understatement. He never won the place against his more popular classmates, but every year he tried. I would look over his talk and help him to practice it (with the same feelings as you, that there was no point, and he would end up more hurt). But in no year did he get NO votes. I was always pleasantly surprised at how many votes he did get, and I used to use that to try and bolster his feelings up a bit.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/11/2013 13:31

I think it's great that she wants to do it and I think you have to be encouraging. If she works hard on her speech you may be pleasantly surprised by how many votes she might attract. It won't be as simply as everyone voting for their pals. Obviously it would be better if she could rely on the votes of her close friends for at least a few vote but I still think it's worth going for. If she ends up with only 1 vote (her own!) then. I think you just have to let her know how proud you are for her being so brave and how difficult it is getting elected when they are quite a few other candidate.

Arohaitis · 14/11/2013 13:33

Probably not a helpful story but ds is on the council for his class, he got 27 out of 28 votes.

we had been wondering if he kew who didn't vote for him so after a while asked and he told us it was him because he had voted for the girl that stood against him.

perhaps more helpfully practise how to react when they announce the results, discuss what would be good etc and maybe mention to her teacher your worries so that she can be sensitive if it happens (but I really hope it doesn't)

Arohaitis · 14/11/2013 13:34

knew sorry

Arohaitis · 14/11/2013 13:35

(I dont want to sound like I am boasting but FWIW my older dc would certainly and indeed has got no votes on similar things so I can share your pain)

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/11/2013 13:38

ds2 did the elections in year 3, didnt win. year 4 didnt win.

Still he did it again in year 5 and won by 1 vote.

He did not ever get zero votes though.

I think you just have to keep being encouraging and supportive tbh

Original poster

GColdtimer · 14/11/2013 13:40

Thansk and I am glad that you agree that I should support her in doing it. DH is worried about her and thinks that she shouldn't put herself thorugh it, but then he had a horrible time at shool and was badly bullied so his viewpoint is bound to be squewed. I will make sure I give her lots of time to help her tonight and get a big treat ready for tomorrow, whatever the result!

Littlemissgreen, how brave of your DS.

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Arohaitis · 14/11/2013 13:41

T and B that is a lovely story good on him and how much more useful a life experience for him

(we know ds is heading for a fall we just hope it happens early, swiftly and is mild!)

DowntonTrout · 14/11/2013 14:53

I think, in primary school, it is little more than a popularity contest. dDs school started this in year 5. The council elected stood for two years so it was DDs one and only chance.

She lost. To the dominant girl in the class. Really, the speeches they made made no difference, the outcome had been decided by coercion beforehand. However, a few did break ranks and vote for DD (there was a lot of trying to find out who the guilty parties were afterwards) and one boy told his mum that he voted for the winner because she told him he had to. The teacher told me that she herself had voted for DD because DD made the best speech, I think she was trying to make DD feel better about it. its one of those things. There can be only one and it's not always fair. DD got over it.

TeenAndTween · 14/11/2013 20:19

Can you ask the teacher whether the number of votes each has to be announced? Can they not just announce the winner?
That's what our school does for Parent Governors.

PiqueABoo · 14/11/2013 20:42

"get a big treat ready for tomorrow, whatever the result!"

Really not sure if it has made any difference but I've often tried to slip news of a treat (not any details) in just before DD has done something, associate it with the effort/courage not the outcome.

And if the outcome is negative, a treat will include some parental attention, quality time or whatever you want to call it. I like silly stuff that she remembers e.g. one time that bit was simply a lunch where she got to skip the kiddy menu, the main course, and just have two ridiculous desserts.

WereTricksPotter · 14/11/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

GColdtimer · 15/11/2013 16:47

So to update you, dd came second missing out by just one vote so she is delighted. Disappointed she didn't get it but really proud of herself. To answer about votes they announced the top three and told them how many votes they each had. Perhaps because it was so close it was nice for them to know they had support!

Anyway, it has been great for her confidence and she will try again next year. Her speech was really good apparently!

Thanks everyone. Treat tonight (she gets to stay up Kate with me after her sister has gone to bed).

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TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/11/2013 18:17

That's good that she came so close and that she knows a lot of people did vote for her.

She should be very proud.

Periwinkle007 · 15/11/2013 18:55

ahh well done to her

TheBuskersDog · 15/11/2013 19:04

Am surprised by a couple of things here actually, how seriously some children (and their parents) take it and also how the children know how many votes they got- in my experience the candidates have always left the room while the during the vote and then just the winner announced when they returned.

TheBuskersDog · 15/11/2013 19:06

left the room during the vote

Original poster

GColdtimer · 15/11/2013 19:39

Buskers, i do not think i am taking the event too seriously at all.i couldn't care less who is school councillor. Dd is quite fragile at the moment as I think I mentioned so I was taking the possibility of her being really upset by the process very seriously.

And why wouldn't the children take it seriously. They stand up in front of their whole class and ask for votes. I would say at the age 8 that is quite a big deal, I wouldn't have done it!

OP posts:

LittleMissGreen · 15/11/2013 20:09

well done your DD :)
It's taken seriously at our school too by the children.

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