Penfriends

[PottyLotty]

My DD has come home today and shes upset that her teacher has chosen a penfriend on her behalf because her reasons for chosing her own penfriend werent good enough.

She chose a friend from the Philippines because she wanted to write supportive letters and to give the child something to look forward to (receiving her letters) following the dreadful events over the last week.

Her teacher has said no because my DD may inadvertantly say something to upset the child such as what gifts she got for Christmas or she may say she has had new clothes etc and instead given her a child in Rwanda because this is where the schools charity boxes are sent. Some other children have had their choices of France/India/America approved.

Should I go and have a word with her teacher ? She really does want to write to a child in the Philippines, its something she has seen on the news and she has even collected money and items to send to them to help. I dont really want to complain to her teacher as it seems a little petty on my part but I do feel she is being a little mean by not allowing my DD to choose who she writes to but then allows other children to make a choice themselves.

erm so if she said she had Christmas gifts or new clothes to a child in war torn Rwanda that would be different?

I can't fathom the teacher's logic there.

No, im struggling myself to understand it. I dont want to approach the school if im being unreasonable. Im genuinely unsure how to approach it

I would complain - if all the other kids could choose, why can't your daughter???

Seems unfair, but maybe it's pragmatic. Are they even running a postal service over there at the moment? If the penfriend project is to benefit letter writing, surely more letters would get written with a penfriend in a country that has enough infrastructure to send letters to and fro. From watching the news it doesn't seem there is much in the way of food and drinking water at the moment and I doubt many of the schools are running. And any pupils on a penfriend register a few weeks ago may not have survived. Perhaps the teacher was just trying not to alarm your daughter.

I'd explain to DD that people in the Philippines are rather busy right now, but you can look to find a penfriend there next year. Then ask the teacher if DD can have a second choice.

I suspect souperb has it there.
It probably isn't the first thing on the Philippine's minds too at present. Logic from the teacher seems skewed, particularly given your dd's interest, saying that the address they have may not be reachable at present would have been a better way of putting it.

I sponsor a young girl in the Philippines, I'm waiting to see if their Christmas box can go as normal this year. I know their place has survived (they weren't in the main line) and all the children are okay, but post is very difficult to get in at present, I'm told, as priority is (naturally) given to medical and necessary surplies.

Thanks, I hadnt really thought of the postal issue myself but im not sure where the child is living in the country so perhaps it would be an issue.

I do agree the reason they have given her is pretty poor. She's adamant she is going to choose her own penfriend though, shes thinking Norway now. I hope they dont stop her from writing to someone from Norway. She does feel she wants to make her own choice and not be given any old person who the staff feel will want to write a letter or 2.

DeWe The Royal Mail incidents bulletin has been rather vague since 8/11, but I am hoping for some firm news in the next week or so - I too have some things to send family friends.

www.royalmail.com/service-update/international

I find the bulletin fascinating - a real snapshot of how the world is doing, as opposed to the selective media news coverage.

PottyLotty It does annoy me when people (especially teachers!) skirt around an issue with a nonsensical argument instead of just being straightforward (and age-appropriate). It is condescending and tends to cause more upset than a respectful response.

I hope your DD gets a Norwegian penpal. I loved penpals in my youth and still keep in touch with a few by email now. Not quite the same as the thrill of a proper letter though. It really opened my eyes to the world. I wish her life-long international friendship, or at least a few interesting stamps!

Thank you souperb. I too hope she gets her penfriend. My penfriend experience wasnt exactly successful but I wont go into that