DD says she's sad because she has no-one to play with - reception class - age 4

[Katnisscupcake]

Really worried about dd.

She started reception at a lovely little village school in September. It was outside our catchment and she only knew one other child there who was from her preschool.

At preschool she was always quiet but always had other children around for playdates and 1-1 always got on very well with others. Whenever I took her to school all the children would run up to see her.

Since she started she played with the girl from her preschool and then I recommended the school to another mum from the preschool whose child wasn't enjoying the primary that they'd chosen.

They moved to dd's school and now the two girls play together and not with dd. I am not overly worried about that particular friendship, but dd is now saying that she never has anyone to play with and it makes her sad.

Dd is very small and I think she struggles to keep up with the others when they run off so often gets left out. As you can imagine as a parent this is heartbreaking to hear.

I am going to approach the school on Monday as dd says that she tells the teacher and that they take her to find someone to play with but they can't find anyone??!! So I need to get their side and see if they can recommend anything we can do to help her. The children all seem to like her, so I wonder if it's a confidence thing that she doesn't put herself forward.

Are there any things outside of school that are known to help with confidence? Sorry this is so long...

Didn't want to read and run, I often saw my popular DD also alone in the play ground, I tried to tell her that its OK to play alone and to play on the equipment and things. I do not know if its sunk in....

Its heart breaking though isn't it. In my first school I didn't have any friends but when I was moved I found lots of kindred spirits.

re being small, my DD best friend is small and is the fastest runner in her class.

Hope you manage to make some head way with the teachers.

Oh cripes. This used to worry me stupid too. Now my dd is nearly 9 and can see it in perspective.

My dd started school knowing no-one. The school always told me my dd was really popular etc, however in the mornings and at pick up I would either see other kids say hello to her and she'd ignore them and turn her back, or they wouldn't talk to her. She would occasionally tell me that she had no-one to play with. She tended to latch onto the odd boy and declare they were her best friend (which inevitably didn't last).

I read one comment in her school dairy once about a PE lesson where the TA had written that she needed help to interact with other children. That gutted me, as outside school she was Miss Confident with other children.

I'm not quite sure when it changed, but at around the middle of Y1 she just came out if herself. I became aware that she was friends with most of the children in the class - girls and boys. She had a few really close friends (girls and boys) but they weren't at all exclusive.

I remember my friend walking past her ds's school at break time once and she caught a moment where her ds was wondering on his own. It haunted for a good week or two!

Go and have a chat with the teacher. I'm almost certain she'll put your mind at rest. Also, in a couple of weeks/months this will all be a phase for your dd. Honestly, try not to worry.