Disruptive class - DS struggling & I've had enough!

[PhoebeMcPeePee]

Just written an essay & lost it so the not very abridged version is:

DS (good average pupil, well behaved etc) is in Y3 with a larger than average number of bright kids & a handful (4 or 5) of little shits very disruptive kids & DS is getting left behind & lost in there eg if he puts his hand up to ask a question by the time the teacher has responded to/dealt with the ones shouting out he's given up. I've seen mistakes in his work go unchecked & noticed little progression since he started the year.

He's now not sleeping because he's worried about being shouted at (this seems to be latest method of behaviour management) & struggling to understand why some kids are so naughty yet there are no repercussions except a class telling off.

I've raised concerns about the disruption in the past, but now my DS isn't sleeping (& I've seen tears at drop off & pick-up from other children this week) & frankly I've had enough. In their 4th year together AIBU to think they should have a handle on these kids by now. I'm all out of sympathy & just want them out of the class so the rest can get on & learn . It doesn't help that the teacher is massively stretched with a class of 34 .

Any practical suggestions how I can get the school to properly address these issues rather than just nodding sagely & agreeing what a challenging year group they are

I guess changing schools is out of the question?

Never say never but it would be a logistical nightmare as I have 2 other DC there who are very happy & the next nearest school is a 15+ min drive away and with my work to consider as well, I just can't see it happening .

yeah, btdt. DS attended a private school which was full of kids who had been "lost" at other schools.
Can you give your DS more academic support & time on the weekends?

TBH I'd love to send DS to a smaller independent school but we simply can't afford to even consider. We have been trying to give him more time & help with school work but we have 4 DC & both work parents and it just isn't giving him what he needs to reach his potential

I am a teacher. What a crap situation for your DC. I think this is life in education. a gobby minority get to fuck up everyone else's chances. ofsted don't like exclusions so the troublemakers stay. bully boys and girls rule the classroom and the staffroom

Is it single form entry? DD has three form entry, they mix the classes every year so the kids are split differently. It's worked pretty well so far (she's in y2).

Yup single form entry so he's been stuck with these fuckers since reception & no chance of swopping (they've just added 4 news ones but presumably it wont split as AKAIA they're allowed more in KS2). And to make us feel really shit about our choices it's an 'outstanding' school that we fought tooth & bloody nail to get into shunning our nearest much larger more diverse & (then) satisfactory Ofsted which might actually have suited him better .

I could have written your post 3 weeks ago. I live in the US (moved here from the UK a few years ago), so probably not exactly the same, but I have tried to tackle this head on. Ds is 8 years old, in 3rd Grade, and is doing ok academically but really struggling with the disruption in class and I am worried he is going to fall behind too.

He is by no means the perfect kid - he struggles with his emotions and can lose his temper easily and unnecessarily - but he is very polite and kind and likes calm and order. He gets very upset with rule breakers and noisy environments.

I am capturing everything in writing - exchanging e-mails with the teacher, giving details on his anxiety and the changes I have seen in him, including disrupted sleep pattern and new strange fears, to ensure I have a record of what I have done and the teacher's actions. I also have been to sit down with her to discuss solutions - all very cordial and positive, but serious and pro-active, in case I need to go to head teacher to ask for follow up actions.

The teacher has set up a desk at the back of the class, in a calmer area, where he can go and work when things are too loud. He is allowed to get up and move there without having to ask for permission. I have also ensured he gets more time to finish work, as he is sometimes struggling with getting it done when things are too noisy. And I have underlined his need for more structure - so the teacher is making an effort to give him more guidelines in his work.

Finally, I have spoken to the school counselor, and she is keeping an eye on things and liaising closely with me and the teacher to support my son.

In exchange, I am working with my son on his temper - to demonstrate that I know it is a joint effort, not all down to the school - and I spend more time than I ever expected doing home work and ensuring he stays on track with his school work.

I am really hoping that the joint efforts will pay off - but if I do not feel comfortable in the next 1-2 months, I will be asking to meet with the head teacher for more action, possibly including closer supervision of the teacher and classroom.

Sorry - I did not mean to write such a long post, but maybe it will help you with ideas. Also, I find it is nice to know that you are not alone - even across the Atlantic.

I'd comment, but you lost me when you started calling 8 year olds little shits and fuckers. Charming.

Is bad behaviour a whole school problem? Is it happening in every year group throughout the school? If so probably the head isn't dealing with issues properly and therefore the teachers have no weight behind them when disciplining. New leadership is what is needed. You maybe banging your head against a wall trying to get a positive outcome. You will also find that your sons problem is one of many at the school - bulling, low teacher morale etc. . Weak leadership is like one bad apple that turns all the other apples.

If its just his year group, it's probably just a very awkward year group by chance. Total nightmare for teacher and kids. Definitely worth emailing the school (both head and teacher) to outline what is happening and to ask for a meeting to discus how to move forward. If everything fails remove him. Make sure the new school has firm boundaries and classroom control as well as praise.

Also very bad class size! It is a world of difference teaching to a class is 28/27. It's more manageable.

Nothing much to add to what others have said except to say don't let it go. Keep notes about what's happening and keep complaining.

There are year groups like that, I taught a particularly difficult one but I had support from the head and was given a full time TA to remove children who were being disruptive for no reason other than to be disruptive. It's very difficult for all the class when there are a few who set each other off.

Midnight - I'm one of the least sweary people IRL & normally would agree but these are unruly children (from good homes before you slate me for not considering their circumstances) with no respect for authority & taking advantage of the lack of serious repercussions who are affecting my child's education & future. How he does in primary will impact his secondary choice which impacts his life. So yes, I am calling them some pretty awful names & I'm only sorry it hadn't been dealt with sooner.

Eta the school is (I believe) extremely well run & known for it's strong leadership etc. I've not come up against any other incidences of like this (ok the odd naughty one but nothing unusual there).

It's in an affluent area, v. low numbers of free school meals/English as 2nd language etc plenty of very involved & high achieving pushy parents etc so I think it's fair to say they generally have it pretty easy with very few external challenges coming into the classroom. So I guess it's just an unlucky group

Thanks again for all the input (including from overseas ) I will definitely peruse this & keep notes/follow-up with emails as I'm not prepared to walk away just yet.

There's nothing HTs hate more than complaining parents. Be careful how you phrase things (i.e. avoid using "little fuckers/shits!!" ) and concentrate on the adverse effect the overall atmosphere in class is having on your ds. The HT will be aware already of it being a challenging group, but the more complaints s/he gets about it, the more likely it is for better action to be taken/support given.

They hate a bad ofsted report more than they hate complaints from parents.

You have to bear in mind it might be the same an the new school. Or if it isn't when you arrive you only need a few children to leave and be replaced by new pupils and you will be in the same boat. It is a gamble you will have to take if you decide to move.

I have a class at a school with a justifiable high pupil mobility. This year I have lost five children who were well behaved, mature, motivated, hard working and able (all targeting level 3 in End of Key Stage 1 assessments) and their replacements have been either VERY challenging with their behaviour, have a SEN which impacts their behaviour and need careful support and adapted curriculum or who have had so much time out of school or moving they are working at P Scale levels. The whole dynamics of my class has changed drastically in just half a term. What I'm trying to point out OP, the same could happen at any new school you pick.

Agree with newname. This seems to happen to us all the time. I'm currently feeling a bit vulnerable as I have a space in my class, with another absolute sweetie due to leave imminently for a special school. Who knows who will replace them?

I'd consider looking at an alternative school probably for all three to be honest. Essentially the fault lies with the school and not the children themselves because there should be strategies and support in place to manage the challenging behaviour.

Dd's school takes all the children in quite a wide area on managed moves or those who have been excluded elsewhere and still behaviour in school is never less than good and often outstanding according to OFSTED because of how they manage the more challenging children.

If the school don't see it a priority to keep on top of something that potentially damages the success of a vast number of students then I wouldn't have faith in them being able to challenge and provide for the children without behavioual difficulties either.