Summer-borns, delaying starting or mornings only options?

[NoseWiperExtraordinaire]

I have a summer-born DS and wondering what the options are for starting school. I'm aware that legally he doesn't have to start until the term after his 5th birthday, which would put him a whole year behind his year group.

Although my heart and beliefs lie more with starting school later aka Scandanavian approach, I'm not sure I would want to consider holding him back from his friendship and year group, unless he were developmentally challenged (he's not).

I am more concerned whether he will cope with 5 full days (and that he'll be out of nappies but I know it's still a long way off!).

What are the pros and cons around delaying starting to January or Easter? Is attending mornings only a good alternative? Are schools generally reluctant to consider this and does anyone have any tips around how would I go about approaching this?

TIA

DD is a summer born and we had the same worries, but school doesn't tire her out at all and she loves it. I am sure she wouldn't like only doing mornings because she'd miss things like assemblies and PE.

You do have a right to send them part-time e.g only certain days - that may work better, and it's something we'd considered until it became apparent that DD still has more energy than us even doing 5 full days and two after school activities :)

Thanks Sam

That's interesting to know and I hadn't thought about fewer full days, that might work. At the moment DS does 3 days a week nursery, so that might be a helpful transition to keep the same for a while.

Do you mind me asking what hours pre-school your DD did in the summer term before starting? I guess I could also see whether to up DS hrs and see how he goes, or not....

Also did you get as far as speaking to the school about it? I guess it's sensible to apply as normal for a full time place and then reassess nearer the time?

Sorry lots of questions

I didn't have this with DS1 as he was a September baby and more than ready!

You might want to visit some different reception years. The one my daughter goes to we chose as it was a lot like pre-school and very play based. We didn't choose another school as they had lots of tables set out and little room for free play.

PT: depends on the kid, many will find it easier to settle going to full days as quickly as possible. & will be worse off you mess around with half days.

Also, school does lots of induction experiences in first few months, I definitely would start him at right time so that he goes thru all that at proper time. Later start and he will find school culture too confusing & unexplained.

DS was half days until December which suited him fine, had masses more energy than my others who all went quickly to full days.

My DS1 is January which in Scotland is the equivalent of august in England. I'm delaying him a year so he will start at 5.8. This is recommended in Scotland for January babies, particularly boys. A friend went to an open day for a private primary and they told her the difference in results further on in their school career is so big they don't accept January boys in the correct year unless they are exceptional, they all defer.

I will have him at a CM till he is 3.8 then two years of full time nursery (well, 9-3, which are his CM hours).

Hi Nose - she did two and a half days at pre-school (15 hours). The school is the same building as the pre-school so we knew a lot of the staff anyway - and the ethos is the same throughout, which is really helpful.

We applied for a full-time place - I don't know if there is an option to apply for part time, but I guess that would depend on the school. You don't actually need their permission to do part time before your DS is 5, but obviously it's nicer if you can agree it!

As I say though, our fears have proved totally unfounded, but I have heard other parents saying their children are exhausted by half term.

Surely full time nursery would be the same as reception in England?

Pre-school and reception follow the same early years framework.

Thanks all.

Wow bigkids, I wish the recommendations were the same here .

I'd do it like a shot if I thought he wouldn't feel like an odd one out.

Lljk, when did you arrange for your DS to do half days? How did that come about (if you don't mind me asking?)

Where we live (West Mids), if you delay a year, what happens is your dc starts year one with his/her peers and misses out reception entirely. Which imo is worse than starting reception at just past 4 years. My dd2 is August born, as is her close friend in same class, she started school at 4 years, 2 weeks.

They both on occasion seem less emotionally mature than some of the older ones, e.g. her early October born friend.

I think for my daughter, starting later or doing part time wouldn't have been the best option. So she started full time, and dh and I made a conscious decision not to ruminate over our choice and just accept that at times she will seem a little less academic than some of her friends who were born 11 months earlier than her but are in the same school year.

Fwiw she did 2.5 fully days at preschool (private nursery) and 2.5 days at home with either me or dh as this suited our working patterns.

I think it depends what your local EA does - we considered holding our summer born DS (end of August) back, but were advised that, rather than joining the following year in reception (and being the eldest in that class), he would just join his peers going into Yr1, and would be the youngest and also behind in friendship groups etc (and have missed out on the reception year).

From our experience, our DS was no more tired than our eldest who is a Feb birth. We now feel that he is being pulled along (favourably) by his older peers, rather than being held back as the eldest.

Meant to add she is year 2 now, and loving it. I think all schooldchildren are very tired October half term, even the older ones. It's a long term, and they seem to be fighting off colds and bugs a lot during the winter term.

X post with onepiece!

siblingrevelry sounds like we have had similar experiences. I have dd1 who is January born, and she wasn't significantly "more ready" for school than my little dd2.

Ooh, that's interesting, I hadn't considered that, thanks lollipop. I'd imagine that's the same across England and is to do with funding, so that all dc get the same no of years education.

So many questions, I need to talk to school and nursery I should think!

x post twice there!

Also I think that although the age gap seems so significant between the oldest and youngest in reception, it becomes less so as they progress up the school.

On a lighter note, dd2 is tiny in size and gets really offended when people ask her if she has just started reception!

Agree again with onepiece - all the kids I know (mainly in reception, Yr1 & Yr2) were particularly exhausted before the hols, and we were having meltdowns from the 7, 6 & 5 year olds before half term. My son was no more noticeably tired or emotional than his peers or even his older brother.

I think it might vary NoseWiper, I had the impression (possibly not correct though) that in some areas the younger dcs start reception after Christmas or after Easter. Not sure if that means they miss out on one or two terms entirely though.

I really think it would be hard on a child joining year 1 at just past 5 years, when the class friendships etc are established, rather than joining that same class for the reception year. Year 1 ime is a bit more "serious" than reception.

I have an August born DS, just started reception and he's doing fine. It is tiring for him, esp. by the end of the week, and he was exhausted by half term, but with some early nights and low key weekends at home he's doing well, enjoys school, doing well with both the academic and social aspects (they emphasise the latter more in reception).

When I visited the school I made a point of asking about managing summer borns. The school are flexible in their thinking, and its fine for children to relax on the cushions in the quiet corner (and even to fall asleep). The HT also said it was fine to do some half days etc if tiredness was becoming an issue (we haven't needed to). I've found the teachers to be very thoughtful and individualised in their thinking towards DS, despite it being a big school. Definitely visit before you make your choices and ask lots of questions.

I also found that DS came on a lot in terms of independence (e.g. toileting, dressing) in the few months before he started school. I was a bit worried about some of these things 6 months before he started, but he changed a lot in that time.

I would ask the school how many children in the cohort tend to have a delayed start. Where we are 59/60 children started full time in September, including DS2 who is an August Birthday. I wouldn't have wanted him to be the odd one out. I also think that 1/12 must be August babies and they should and are catered for in Reception as much as any other child. It's not that unusual .

I think it was a benefit that I was quite laid back and had fairly low expectations, given that he'd only just turned 4 and it almost felt like he shouldn't be going. He couldn't hold a pencil with the correct grip when he started! However I have been pleasantly surprised. He finds school stimulating and exciting and has learned a lot in the last 7 weeks. This might be because he is fairly extrovert and as a third child already knew the school and tends naturally to want to follow his siblings. It also has a lot to do with the fact that he has great teachers and it seems a happy well run environment. I also think that accessing the structured phonics program they run at our school at 4.1 was the right timing developmentally for DS2 and he has come on a lot with his letter sounds.

Lots of factors here to consider is the conclusion I think!

It is still nursery though Northern - he can nap if he wants (unlikely of course) and it is all play. I suspect it is the same as a reception in a good school with a good teacher. No academic pressure whatsoever.

I've been through this 3 times with my 3 summer born boys.

2 started mornings only and then the guidance was changed and so ds3 started full days. Tbh I didn't notice much difference - the mornings are much more full on than the afternoons anyway - afternoons seemed to be about play and art and music and PE. (Lots of play in the morning too but slightly more structured, I suppose.) The other downside of doing mornings only is that they miss out on all the playtime at lunchtime.

All three were knackered until half term and we had to plan for early nights and not too manic weekends. But something seemed to click around half term and after that they were honestly fine. I know that in ds2's class there were quite a few of the younger ones who often had quiet time/fell asleep in the afternoon.

I think fewer days might work out tricky as classes often tackle activities over the course of a few days e.g. plan their model one day, make it the next, paint and decorate it the third day. I'm also thinking of phonics which will tackle new sounds in structured blocks, so it might be tricky if you're missing x days out of each block.

I do understand your concern but I can't think of a single child who hasn't coped OK after the inevitable tiredness of the first few weeks.

DD is Summer born and coped very well. Yes, you can see the 10 months difference to the oldest girl in her class but the Reception teacher did very well teaching them to wards the level they could cope and beyond without overpowering them. There was lots of child-led activities and no pressure to "perform".

Most of her friends are Summer born as well and only one is a case where you could think "hm, he could have be benefited from one term more at pre-school but as he went to the pre-school next door it would meant that he would have lots all his friends and his twin sister.

A colleague of mine referred his DS for one term. The school was ok as they communicated it straight from the start.

Another friend's DD had a child who only did half days and the boy was teased by his classmates.