How long would you leave it?

[hoppingmad]

Dd is 9 and has moved from a wonderful school to the local one due to house move. She has just had her 4th day. Tbh I had a bad feeling from the 1st morning when I watched her in the playground and the other kids were anything but friendly. But on the 3rd day she was actually walked out by the teacher as a group of kids had targeted her during the day and were hanging around the school gates. The teacher was concerned there were waiting for her so wanted to make sure she was safe.

Today she is in pieces. She hates the school and is crying uncontrollably after a disastrous Halloween party there. Tbh the staff seem fine and like they are trying to deal with the problem pupils but there are just a lot of them.

The trouble is that my dd had a bad early experience with school and I had moved her after 2 years because of bullying issues. The school I moved her to (the one she just left) is fantastic but 15 miles away and money is really tight so we didn't think we could afford the 300 miles a week in fuel to get her there and back each day.

However after bloody forever months of looking my husband has just this week been offered a good job so we will have more money and should afford the fuel costs now. It is a treacherous road in the winter but her old school does do a snow day pack each year with relevant school work.

Sorry for the long post, didnt want to drip feed.

My question is how long should I wait to see if she settles in? My gut instinct is to just put her back now before any harm is done but I'm not sure how her old headteacher would react - I'm worried I'll be told to give it more time

Wwyd?

As it's a primary, presumably you'd only be doing this commute this year and next year. On that basis, I'd move her back straightaway. I cannot possibly see how she can have a good education when a teacher is escorting her to protect her from other children.

Be straight with the head of the old school. Tell him/her what's happened.

What about secondary? Will she be in the same one as these kids who are targeting her?

Is moving back to the old school an option? They haven't given her place away or anything? (I have no idea how these things work)

Apart from the settling in issues, are you happy with the school? If you genuinely think that once she's settled (which could take a few weeks) it is a good school, then you'll be able to cope with the transition, but if you think the other school is the better one, move her back sooner rather than later.

Also, you might want to think about which secondary school she's likely to go to, because that move will be much easier if she has familiar faces moving up with her.

Yes it feeds into the same secondary but that would be another 2.5 years yet. Her 1st school also feeds into that secondary so I know she may face problems ahead from those angles which is part of the reason I would want her to continue consolidating the friendships she did have at the school she just left.

Argh! I knew I shouldn't have moved her and I'm really regretting it.

Her old headteacher did say she'd be welcome back but gave the example of "if it's not working out say 6 months down the line"....

I won't know anything until I phone her old school tomorrow - it's going to be a long night!!

Thank you though for confirming my instincts of sooner rather than later, just hope I can get the school to agree

"Thank you though for confirming my instincts of sooner rather than later, just hope I can get the school to agree"

If it's a state school, they have no discretion in the matter. If there is a place in her year group, they must accept her. If not, they can't.

Good luck, hope it all works out for your daughter!!

Whilst I understand the need to get your daughter back to her old school and into safety, I would also, as a matter of priority, warn both the governors and more importantly (the local paper and) the Dept of Education that this particular head teacher has no control of her school. For all we know a child could lose her life due to this kind of uncontrolled bullying. (It has happened before, too many times.)

That is appalling bullying and the school clearly has no control. The head at her old school would not have envisaged this. It doesn't matter to much if there is a place at old school then she can move back. Don't keep her there. Stay at home sick and get it sorted as soon as school re opens.

Hi,
Thank you for all the advice. I have been stewing on it over the weekend and trying to decide what to do.
I've also had a lengthy talk with the headteacher at the new school (she is a new headteacher to the school too). I am satisfied with her actions regarding Wednesdays events.

She appears to be very committed to improving the school and raised some interesting points with regards my dd being given the chance to settle in and create friendship circles in the new school. Her concern is that my dd will be with all these children in 2 years anyway so better to have 2 classes (old school & this one) where she is thought highly of and has plenty of friends so that she is better able to handle the change.

Don't think I've expressed that very well but hopefully you know what I mean. The head has asked that I give her one more week and discuss again on Friday.
Dd had a good end to last week and had a couple of kids call for her over the weekend.

I will see how this week goes before making my final decision. I think I am
heavily biased by my high regard for the last school so hard to be impartial.

Argh! I feel so lucky to have the house we are in, just wish it had been in a different place!