teased at school, now saying she hates herself

[normalflora]

Hello All,
This is my first posting, so please excuse any mistakes and the length of it....but I could really do with some advice.
My DD in year 1 has always been popular and happy at school, but has problems with one girl in her class. This girl is a bit of a bully, and recently when she has not been at school for a day my DD is so much happier. Over the last few weeks DD has been a bit weepy, and tonight lay on her bed crying that no-one likes her because she is ugly (she is not, but she has a problem with one of her arms). She also said that she hates herself, which made me feel sick with sadness.
She now doesn't want to invite any of her friends over and has not got an invitation to play at other class-mates houses for a long time. I spoke to the teacher a couple of weeks ago, who said that DD was fine in school, but I am worried that this other girl is making the other class members not want to approach my gorgeous girl.
I have reassured my dd as much as I could, but I wondering if I should speak to the teacher again, or leave it to settle over the summer hols and see what happens when the teacher changes in September. Any ideas??

Thanks

say something now if she's that upset, insist they deal with it. poor darling.

Oh and welcome to MN!

speak up now - presumably ther are a couple of weeks till the end of term - a long time at that age. Also it may help to establish some potential playdates with the teacher so they can get together over the holiday.. Worth finding out if the plan is for nasty girl to be in dds class next year and request that shes not if its not too late. welcome also...

welcome to mn normalflora,your poor dd,how upsetting for you.
I would talk to the school as things are not getting any better.If you speak now instead of waiting until sept,it may mean they may seperate your dd from this bully.

Why not arrange some playdates over the holidays with other classmates?
That way she might feel happier going into year 2 and have some more solid friendships.

Also talk to the teacher again.

Thank you for your messages. It is such a relief to know I am not overreacting. The other girl is from a large family with a not very involved mum, so I feel for this girl too. I have suggested to mine that we get her over to play, but my dd says she doesn't want to be constantly bothered by this girl (which I understand!). Tonight I got my dd to write a card to another girl in her class suggesting an outing to get their nails painted (positive body image and all that), so we'll see how that goes.

Good luck normalflora - that was a positive mood (the card and suggested outing). I feel for your dd and hope things improve for her soon.

I meant positive 'move' - ooops

Handlemecarfully, it also put her in a more positive mood

Just a quick update......

The teacher was brilliant, and had a chat with my DD and the other girl together, and told them they couldn't play together cos it was making my DD sad. This morning my DD sang all the way to school, saying she was so happy cos she didn't have to play with the other girl. With great timing she also came home yesterday with 2 party invites and this morning was invited to a couple of playdates next week! I also phoned the hospital who are going to send some info packs (written by changing faces) for us and the school about coping when you are different.

Thanks again for letting me let off steam and for the excellent advice and support.

that's so nice to hear ,you must be so relieved!

what a nice warm fuzzy end to a problem

That's great news