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worried for my son

4 replies

sallyst123 · 22/10/2013 10:14

i dont feel like my rec ds is getting the best right now & i feel like i cant approach the school as our relationship is already at breaking point.
since he started he has had 6 words in a word pot to learn ( which he did in a night) & thats it his home school link book is has got lots of comments from me & his after school club but only 1 from his teacher & actually it wasnt from her but from a sub that was covering the class that day. its just unbelivable that in 2 months all he has had is 6 words!!!
my relationship with his teacher isnt great, i think she feels like im just a nuscience ( she taught my dd last year & at the end of term i questioned her report, & the fact she was put in a class away from all her friends) im worried that because she doesnt like me she isnt giving my son what he needs.
moving schools is not an option & so is moving classes, i need to be able to repair this relationship so he gets the education that he needs.
i spoke to the ta in class today & she just looked confused as to why hs word pot hasnt been updated.
this is a good school my other 2 dd are settled there & happy i just dont know what to do.

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PastSellByDate · 22/10/2013 14:38

hi sallyst123

I absolutely sympathise. In KS1 I had real doubts that enough progress was being made during KS1 and absolutely understand what kind of trouble that can cause between you and the teacher/ your child and the teacher.

Ultimately, many who have had the smoothest ride at our school (we're not openly comparing notes post 11+) seem to be the ones that said nothing but quietly did more at home. I really didn't start doing my own thing until late Y2 - and I do regret it. Things have gone much more smoothly for DD2 because I was more clued up to what I needed to be helping with.

It is crazy - and I know my mother never did as much as I'm doing for my DDs - but if the school doesn't change reading books for weeks (3 weeks of Big Panda/ Little Panda nearly killed us) and won't be teaching division beyond inverse multiplication who will? (and that is what we're facing here).

I first posted on here about weeks of repeated reading and a father replied that you don't just have to do what the school sets. Sure, show willing, fill in the learning log/ homework book, do the worksheets, read the books school provides -but you can also do a lot more yourself.

It sounds like your child is in Year R (not totally sure) - but if this is the case have a look at Oxford Owl - the early years maths/ reading sections have lots of resources, advice and there are tons of free e-books to work through. link here: www.oxfordowl.co.uk/

Some friends swear by workbooks and others (like me) prefer on-line games/ tutorials & worksheet generators.

There are tons of workbooks out there - and my advice is go along to a book store/ large news agent with your child and see what appeals to them.

Some really useful on-line stuff I've come across over the years:

Woodlands Junior School Resources resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/ - I highly recommend that maths & literacy zones with links to many games to build/ reinforce skills.

This is also from Woodlands Junior School - Primary Homework Help: www.primaryhomeworkhelp.co.uk/ - really useful when they get write something about the Romans/ Egyptians/ etc... on a piece of paper and that's it.

How to build a classic library for children: www.theguardian.com/books/series/building-a-children-s-library - great ideas for books. under the picture of the witch there are choices for ages 4- 7 or 8 - 11. I have to say 6 - 8 is a tricky age -with some behind, but wanting chapter books and others way ahead, but some books aren't really appropriate yet.

the book trust: www.booktrust.org.uk/books/children/ - lots of suggestions by genre and information on reading age of books.

Sometimes your school will sign up to things like My maths or Education City. If they do - join! Use these games to build strengths/ gain practise.

Finally around late Y1/ early Y2 - the KS1 BBC Bitesize games in English/ Maths & Science are good fun, can be adjusted for ability and prepare you for SATs at end of Y2: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/ks1/

Finally to get a fairly clearly written explanation of where your child should be / what they should be covering by year have a look at Campaign for Real Education primary curriculum materials. Your school may not be working to this - and it is 'ideal world' kind of stuff - but at least it lets you see what is in theory possible. link here: www.cre.org.uk/primary_contents.html.

We couldn't move so have had to make the best of the cards we've been dealt - but genuinely doing a bit more (not overkill but encouraging / supporting daily reading & ensuring a bit of maths practise if going on) does cumulatively make a big difference.

HTH

sallyst123 · 22/10/2013 19:05

thank you so much. i spoke to teacher at hometime today she told me he must have been stuggling with the words assigned (even though there are 20 comments from me/& his after school club teachers saying perfect well done etc) literally tapped him on the back said at least he has them now & dismissed us. i didnt think showing such a intrest would lead to such a conflict with her. i was going to try to spk to the head but maybe your right. i will leave it, if i have any more problems i will spk to the ta.
i have literally been crying at how this woman is so rude to me, i just hope that she isnt like this with my son.
cant believe that its come to this im gutted

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HedgeHogGroup · 22/10/2013 19:30

As a HT I echo everything that Past has said but I feel sad that you don't feel you can contact the Head to talk it over. I would be really sad if any of my teachers were this dismissive or lacking in communication skills. I'd need to know so that I could act on it!

sallyst123 · 22/10/2013 19:55

i just think hedgehog that the ht will have his teachers side (which is right i would hope my boss would believe me if ever a problem at my work occured) i dont want to approach him as there would be no moving him to a different class ( both classes are over capacity this year so much so a 3rd reception class has been created which is mixed with yr 1 which is where my 1st issue with this teacher arrived!) so i wouldnt be able to move him nor would i want to his friends are all in this class its not fair that he should lose out because of issues we adults have. & moving schools is not an option
so really if i went to him i cant see what the resolve would be. it really is a personal thing she is a new teacher who didnt like the fact i questioned her. i hate it ive never had an experience like this before & i certainly never thought i would be getting upset over school again. the only way i can think to resolve it is to have as little to do with her as possible which is awful as i try to have a full & open line of communication with teachers as possible ( they are responsible for my most precious things for7 1/2 hrs a day)

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