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Original poster

labelling my child

57 replies

offtoschool · 20/10/2013 00:34

My daughter came home from school on Friday with a printed sticky label attached to her uniform. The label reads-

Please would you help your child to pronounce 'th' correctly as in thin or the NOT 'f', thank you.

My daughter is only 4yrs 3months and is in reception class.
Unfortunately I only read the note after i overheard some older children asking her to say 'the' to them in the park after school. (i presumed the not would be a general school notice)
I didn't mention the note on the walk home, i was very upset and i could tell my daughter was also.

I don't understand why anyone would stick a label to a child highlighting what they cant do, nor do i understand why the teacher thought that this was an appropriate way to tell me that my child can not yet pronounce 'th'.

At home we have been practising 'th' sounding words as we already know she says f but we were trying our hardest not to highlight it or make it an issue.
Later i asked my daughter about the special sticker? Trying not to say it was a negative, i wasn't entirely sure she knew about what it said? She replied "oh mummy it wasn't a special sticker, i threw it in the bin, it says i cant say 'th' i say 'f' and i mustn't say 'f' not at school." I cried!(alot) and i have questioned myself as to Am i over reacting?
My daughter is kind, loving, happy, caring, beautiful, confident, outgoing,, bright as a button a fabulous big sister the list of positives is endless.
i hope the teacher wont mind me sending her in with a extra large printed label saying so!!
xxx

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Gileswithachainsaw · 20/10/2013 07:47
Shock

I wouldn't go in guns blazing as a pp said, it could have been meant to be stuck in the homework diary.

If it was fully intended to stick on the child though that of course is appalling. The diary is for messages like that, where kids are given tasks to practice.

I'm
Concerned about the part that says about not saying "f" in school. In a class of thirty there are bound to be at least one or two undergoing speech therapy and ergonstrughling to make all the sounds correctly and singling those kids out for all to see over something they can't help is just disgusting!!

mrz · 20/10/2013 07:55

Whatever the teacher's intentions sticking a label on a child is wrong and you need to speak to her/him. If the teacher is concerned they should have asked to speak to you.

www.spelfabet.com.au/2013/03/speech-sound-development/

Morgause · 20/10/2013 08:13

I'm utterly bewildered as to how a teacher would think this appropriate. I hope it was a mistake.

Mumof3xx · 20/10/2013 08:17

How horrible I would be kicking up a right stink!

Original poster
offtoschool · 20/10/2013 09:37

Thank you so much for your comments everyone, i have photo of the sticker.
I did notice the sticker when she came out of school i just didn't have time to read it initially.(my 2yr old and 8month old were getting a bit fed up of waiting) and last week she had a similar sized sticker on her that just said.
There have been cases of nits in school can everyone please check their children's hair. Thank you. Hence i just presumed it was of a similar matter.
I will ask about whether the sticker was intended to be on uniform.
I forgot to add i didn't break down and cry alot in front of my daughter, i managed to finish off reading her Charlie and the chocolate factory, sing her the usual bed time lullaby's, it was only after i came downstairs the more i thought about it the more i cried.
i really hope my daughter was meant to stick it in her words book not her uniform however with 4members of staff in a room of 15children you might think one of them would have noticed, i will report back the teachers response tomorrow. Xx

OP posts:
Cat98 · 20/10/2013 09:58

That is awful! Your poor little girl. As you say I would be hoping it was a mistake, otherwise I'd be truly livid.

tiggytape · 20/10/2013 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk · 20/10/2013 10:12

I'd be outraged. 3 DC had speech delay and f for th is a known accent variation. As valid as different a sounds in bath.

Bluebell99 · 20/10/2013 10:13

4 members of staff in a class of 15 seems a very high ratio? I too would be upset if my child came out wearing that sticker, but to be honest my children have often stuck all sorts of sticky labels to themselves so it could be she stuck it on herself? Although the message is to you, so maybe not Confused

ouryve · 20/10/2013 10:16

I clicked this thread ready to get into yet another discussion about "labelling" but to find out that the child actually had a label stuck to her - wow Shock

So does the teacher think that by telling you this, the problem, as they perceive it, will be fixed, overnight? I wonder if they'd want to stick a label to non-verbal child saying "teach them to talk" or a child with ADHD saying "teach them to sit still"?

Whether this stems from arrogance or naivete on the part of the teacher, it's demeaning to the children this is done to.

Contact the school, by email, if that option is available (leaves a virtual paper trail) and say that you want the rationale behind this explained to you.

Original poster
offtoschool · 20/10/2013 11:12

Its a small village school only has an intake of 15 each year, at the moment reception class is separate from other years they have 1 main teacher 1 teaching assistant and 2 full time trainee teachers. X

OP posts:
Hassled · 20/10/2013 11:16

My youngest has verbal Dyspraxia and has had a lot of speech therapy. He had to be taught all consonant sounds - and would then get them hideously muddled. The one muddle that no-one was worried about was TH/F - because so many children struggle with it. It's so normal for it to be a problem that it's not a problem, IYSWIM - certainly not at aged 4.

I think the sticker is an absolute disgrace and you should kick up one hell of a stink. Get shouting from the rooftops.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 20/10/2013 11:19

See, I am so tempted to use stickers to put homework on my Y11s tomorrow...

LatteLady · 20/10/2013 14:08

Am I right in understanding that sticking stickers on children is this teacher's preferred method of communication? You don't need us to tell you that this is inappropriate but you do need to speak to the teacher concerned and the HT to stop it from happening.

If the teacher wants you to work on sounds then that is what the reading / homework book is to be used for. Have the other parents noticed this bizarre means of communication?

Ferguson · 20/10/2013 18:54

As a TA I have worked with many children with the "th/f" speech issue, which, as others have said, is perfectly normal at this age.

To help them with learning to say "th" I explain that to be able to say it they 'have to put their tongue out'. I add that, normally, putting tongues out is rude, but in this case it is the only way to say "th". If at first they are reluctant to put it out far enough, I would encourage 'further, further!'

This, of course, becomes a bit of a game, but most do manage the correct pronunciation quite quickly.

incywincyspideragain · 20/10/2013 20:56

Our teacher uses stickers to let us know some information BUT its like the nits comment, or 'don't forget your wellies for tomorrows welly walk' - I think thats fine - our ds's go to the before school club so I have been known to stick a label on them in the morning that says 'there is a letter for you from my mummy, please check my folder' (ds3 is also 4yrs 3months - best will in world he may not remember - he also has speech and language difficulties so may not be able to explain either)

It is not however acceptable that you get the information you did on a label especially when you are there at pick up - I would see the teacher (with the evidence that the others have posted regarding sounds - which shall be useful for her anyway as it sounds like she needs to know about speech sound development) clarify that you interpreted the note correctly (I can't see there is any other way of interpreting it) and then complain the the head.
My ds3 is very aware he struggles to make himself understood -if it was us ds1 and ds2 would have read that sticker and told him what it meant and he would have been upset - its out of order - the teacher might not really understand what they have just done, you haven't over reacted, they need to know that and you need to make sure they don't do it again - your dd will be at this school for a while yet....

MrsTruper · 21/10/2013 10:19

I just roll my eyes at some of the things schools do!

When my dd couldn't pronouce "th" I called a speech therapist and she said don't worry about it, just encourage the correct pronounciation. I filled a bad with "th" objects and a couple of times a week we did "lucky dip" and whatever she pulled out the bag she had a go at saying.....took about 3 months from there.

So long as she can do it before she loses her front teeth it should be fine.

picnicinthewoods · 21/10/2013 10:24

MrsTruper please can you clarify why the loss of front teeth matters? Is it because you then have to wait for the adult teeth before they can articulate 'th'? Just checking as my 6 year old boy (awaiting SALT) cannot say 'th' amoug other blends.

Original poster
offtoschool · 21/10/2013 11:38

I will have to e-mail the head as my daughter wont be in school until Wednesday/Thursday (sickness bug) so i wont see her teacher till then and id quite like to discuss the matter with them before half term next week x

OP posts:
mummytime · 21/10/2013 12:06

The staffing sounds a bit limited (is the Head Teacher in addition to the main teacher?).

DCs school have only stuck stickers on them for things like "Remember its Mufti tomorrow" or "Remember to order wrapping paper" etc. The kids quite like stickers regardless of what is written on them, although some children always come out holding theirs instead.

The "th" "f" thing is ridiculous, its not an issue at this age, and to stick a sticker on a child is bullying.

I hope it gets sorted quickly.

Original poster
offtoschool · 21/10/2013 22:40

My husband thinks i should wait until my daughters back in school then have a face to face conversation with her teacher our main points being-
1)This is not an appropriate way to communicate with parents about an issue such as this, we drop off and collect our child every day so pulling us to one side for a chat isn't an issue.
2) Its stigmatization of the child as other children can read it, as happened at the park after school which could lead to bullying. Making my child very aware of her incorrect pronunciation. At 4yrs old this really isn't an issue it will come with practice and time.(and as i know now it can take a child until they are 7-8yrs old before they can pronounce 'th')
3) It offers us no practical ways or any advice as parents so we can help our child to pronounce th correctly.
4) We had already noticed that th was the only sound she couldn't do yet and had started playing fun word games around the 'th' sound to try and help taking a positive approach with lots of praise again because she is only 4 trying not to make an issue of it.( the sticking your tongue out trick really does work!! Managed to say it perfectly today with that trick)
5)I don't know if stickers on children are the schools preferred method of communication but id like to request my daughter is not to have another sticker stuck to her. Thank you.
have i missed anything?
Ahh that feels better i think i may be able to say all of this and keep calm by Wednesday. Xx :-)

OP posts:
working9while5 · 21/10/2013 22:48

I am fucking furious reading this, on all sorts of levels.

I am Speech and Language Therapist. /th/ hasn't even developed in many children at this age and substituting it with a /f/ is a known dialectal feature occurring naturally as part of language shift in urban areas known as "th-fronting".

Be that as it may, to stick a LABEL on a child and to stick one on that has sweet fuck all to do with the teacher's job AND to do it when it is not even developmentally appropriate?

I would be kicking up an almighty fuss. I would also look to move my child from the school if I'm honest.

AND - idiot teacher - the /th/ in 'thin' and 'the' are not even the same phoneme. So there.

working9while5 · 21/10/2013 22:50

And please, please, please do NOT start drawing attention to this sound and making your child play games to develop it. It could give her all sorts of complexes about it and confuse her as she is learning to read.

I could tell you what to do but I won't because THERE IS NO NEED.

Aaargh!

Jaynebxl · 22/10/2013 03:03

Don't wait, email! Email the bullet points you put here. Clear and to the point.

Oblomov · 22/10/2013 03:23

I would not like this. At all. Ds2 just started reception, was tongue tied, and can't say lots of sounds including: j, v, th.
Loads of children who can't pronounce sounds in reception. Some have lisps, and some don't, just can't pronounce.