Class changes - does anyone else find them stressful?

[thirtysomething]

DD is coming to the end of reception and changing class next year. All the reception classes have been reshuffled with the result that some children are staying with 4-5 friends and some children with only 1. The school asked for minimum input from parents - mostly they just asked the kids who they wanted to be with and clearly decided to disregard this information for some but not all the kids! I cannot help but feel upset for those kids who have to virtually start over in September whilst some will be remining with huge groups of friends. It just doesn't seem fair, especially as oftern they have formed quite a clear groups of friends (like DD). Does this happen in everyone's school and am I over-reacting! I guess I just have to accept that I no longer have any control over dd's education!

so as a parent of a reception age child in our school it's very stressfull.

We moved house in May and DD has just settled into her new Recpeion class. Now they are all being reuggled for Year 1. Poor thing. She has nto been with any of the girls she has had around to paly though. but is with our neighbours daughter - thye play together a lot at school I think so she is happY!

dd1 has found out today which class she'll be in, in yr 2, and she's not going to be with any of the close friends she made in yr 1 (a smallish close-knit group, who've all been moved together into a new class - they were all together for the last 2 years too)

should I make a fuss?

BUMP

really not being rude here but surely they are in the classroom to learn and they can play with mates in the playground . I would personally be more concerned with what teacher they were going to get and wether it was the type of teacher they could get a good relationship with . I know they mix classes for the reasons of ,summer born and winter born , more abled and less abled together , even mix of boys and girls , kids that get on together and kids that are better seperated because they either distract each other or mess around too much . I am sure it is not an easy job to fit all those points in dividing classes of thirty kids and keep everyone happy . They dont always get it right And if you had a valid reason maybe it could be changed but surely they are in school to learn .

We have four classes for each year, they stay together thru Reception/Y1/Y2 then mixed when they go to the adjoining Junior School. I would have been distressed for ds if the classes had been mixed going from Reception to Y1, but ds is now going into Y2 and is more confident and knows lots of children in other classes, it wouldn't have worried me if it had happened.

Ds1 found out his new class on Tuesday - some of his friends are in it, some of them aren't. He doesn't seem bothered, he just goes with the flow. As far as I've seen so far, it's only the girls making a fuss - I suppose the dynamics of girlie friendships are slightly different to boys. They tend to stick to their own best friends whereas the boys just get in one big game of footie - with the other classes too - so they know everyone anyway.

Well my ds got his class list today and there is only one child that is a good friend in it his other 4 best mates are all in the other class . he was a bit miffed especially as his present teacher is moving up to year 3 and he really likes her . I told him the other teacher chose him because she has heard how good he is and I said I was really pleased that he got that teacher . Stupid thing is I was sad because he wasnt with his mates but now I have had time to get my head round it I think he might do well next year and do some extra good work and he can still see his frinds at break time and he will get to know more people in his class.

peasinapod, the "clique" of 4 girls in dd1's class were together in Reception, then yr 1, now yr 2...dd and many of her other friends have been moved away from (possible) cliques each year but this group hasn't. incidentally they will also be taught by the same person who was with them in reception, so she is fully aware of their close friendship. I know children are at school to learn, but dd and other children have to be separated from people they like, so why not these children too? (ie the policy should be applied uniformly)

I agree Bundle - they should apply it uniformly or not at all!
Happened to DD1 last year when she went into yr4 - she had an OK year but to be honest it could have been better. At DD's school they mix them all up each year from yr 4 onwards. Found out this year that agin she is not with her friends and has been put with the girl that has been nasty to DD1 all through Yr4 (whichthe school know about!). A friend encouraged me to contact the school ( I didn't want to be a whinging parent!) whoich I did, fully explaing that situation and that DD1 would be better able to cope with "nasty girl" if she had 1 of her other three good friends in with her. The school were great and moved the classes aroubnd to accomodate this.
I did ask "why did it always appear to be DD1 who was not with friendship groups" and was told that she is a very sociable little girl who is very popular and at a recent school residential trip her name came up the the most often for girls wanting to share dorms with....so in other words as she gets on with most people she is used to make numbers up!!! - I wonder if soemthing like this is happening to your DD Bundle?

exactly, sonnet. i grabbed the head (not literally ) on the last day and she said oh dd1 will be fine. well, i don't want her to be fine, i want her to be more than fine. i know she's very sociable & independent, but this cliquey group has 2 girls in it who literally still cry sometimes when their parents leave them in the morning so imo could do with a bit of separating from their best mates to toughen them up a bit..it seems like the "copers" always have to support these delicate young flowers

Thirtysomething - it sounds like the same school. My dds move to yr 4 one of them has had an unsettling year with teacher being off and having a number of supply teachers. Then the week before they are due to finish a slip to inform us of a reshuffle. No explanation as to why. No opportunity to express our concerns. After parents went in with concerns we received a brief explanation about friendships not always being the best for childrens achievments. My concern is the power the headteacher feel that they have when they can make such huge changes without even informing you. It speaks of sociolists we are suppose to be moving forward and yet the education system seems to be willing to take away our childrens confidence and leave them with educational scars that some parents still have. Thankyou for my rant.

write to the Chair of Governors expressing your unhappiness and asking for reasons why it was done.

I copied the chair of govs and head teacher into the letter I wrote to the head of infants.

sonnet both my children (next year's Y1 and Y4) have been separated from their friendship groups on grounds of them being very sociable and able to make friends easily. I don't feel this is right either. So what if they are sociable, they are still as entitled as the class bully and the sensitive children to be kept with their preferred friends. My DD in particular is very nurturing and teachers know she will always look after the waifs and strays, so she always gets put with the crying and/or persecuted children as the teachers know she will look after them - hence she is split from the friends she plays with as an equal in order to put another child's needs first! This has also happened to DS as he looks after a child with SEN in his class and protects him from bullies, so he has been separated from his friends and put with this child in a different class. I am delighted that both dd and ds are perceived as so caring and sensitive to other people's needs but they both seem to be being taught by the school that their needs are less important than those of others which I'm not happy about. It seems to me the difficult and bullying kids' needs are taken into account first and foremost when distributing kids into classes in the state system.

As a primary school teacher myself I wuld like to add my side of the argument. At my school the teachers don't even have a say it what classes the children are going into!!! We have to provide the headteacher with a list of children in ability and he sorts them into groups. The lower ability children stay with the children who are a academic year below them (supposedly to help them make progress!) The higher ability class are put in a mixed class with children who are an academic year older than them and the "average" ability children are put in a single age class!!! All very confusing and a lot of the time friendship groups are split up but kids are strong in situations like this and seem to accept it better than we do!!!!

It really may not. We were in a similar situation with ds, and I was convinced that it would be a problem, but there wasn't. He settled in very well, carried on playing with his friends at break and lunchtime, and made new friends too. I did try not to make a big deal of it with him (not that I'm suggesting you are). He knew, and he wasn't happy about it before he started, but once he was there it was fine.