DS (6) Is not enjoying school since starting YR2 so I requested to talk to his teacher today about it. He has told me he is bored and doesn't want to go. This attitude is such a contrast to the previous 2 years of his school life, in which he enjoyed both the work and social side of school. His end of year report was glowing, with 'exceeded' ticked in every subject except in PE.
I think his anxieties relate to the teacher being a shouter and was compounded by an incident last week as the teacher told the boys in the class that none of them would be allowed to go to the loo and would have to wet themselves as someone was deliberately leaving the taps on. They would also have to sit in this wet clothing until break time when they would be sent to the office for a change of clothes. DS was incredibly anxious about this potential threat. He had nothing to do with the 'crime' but knew if the perpetrators weren't found out he may be facing a potentially humiliating situation. My DP tackled this and DS was told in person by the teacher that it was not aimed at him.
At the weekend he was very upset that his friendship group has dwindled down to 3 as classes have swapped around, other friends have moved away. Obviously i told him not to worry.
Yesterday he told me that he thinks a particular TA in his literacy class tells him off all the time. He put his hand up to ask a question and she tapped him on the back and asked him if he was listening. I asked him if other children were allowed to put their hands up and he said, 'yes' but she told him off for doing this. He told me that he was using a pen to practice writing and it had dried up so he used another one to finish writing a letter- she told him not to do this. She apparently told him off about the same thing last week.
I went to speak to the teacher about his general unhappiness about school as it is really noticeable now. Despite requesting some form of communication about this when i dropped him off this morning, she didn't acknowledge me at all at home time, even though she had received my request to talk or communicate in someway. I said if it's not convenient I could write down the issues and hand them in tomorrow but I didn't want to discuss it in front of my son. She replied that 'we might as well get it over and done with'.
She said that DS knows she wasn't referring to him about the 'wetting yourself' comment but she did not deny it - I was quite shocked that it is true.
With reference to not liking school, being bored, she replied that she was very surprised as she has never had anyone remark on her teaching being dull. I corrected her as that was not what I was implying. She told me about the fun 'dress up' days as if they were her inspiration and this confirms she is not boring. One of them was a 'builders day' but it was across the year not just a class thing and there was a big input expected from parents. Parents in that trade came to help and I reminded her that my DP, who is an Architect, spent a good hour at work printing of drawings for them to use in her lesson. She did not thank my son or my DP for these efforts.
I told her that I was concerned about his reduced enthusiasm for reading. Her advice was to join a library! She then proceeded to tell me how useful they are. I couldn't believe how patronising she was. I have a Masters degree, I'm an English Literature Graduate, DP is an Architect, I don't believe she thinks we are not aware of the purpose of librarys. We buy are son books. Having books around, buying books, is not a problem, he's complete lack of interest in reading, coincided with the start of YR2- I'm keen to address this as he is only 6, he shouldn't be disengaged at 6!
The conversation went from bad to worse as I raised my concerns about friendships. I was looking for solutions and instead I got sarcasm about DS being keen to tell the teachers ALL of the time, what people are doing wrong. Basically- a tell-tale and she strongly believes this is where the anxiety is coming from. He is playground buddy and really enjoys the role. I had reservations as they trained them at the end of YR1 and some of the role involves trying to resolve disputes between children. He in essence has been asked to do the lunchtime supervisors dirty work and now has a reputation for being a 'tell-tale'. He was awarded a certificate for his efforts last week. I pointed out to the teacher how confusing he would find this if I relayed to him that he should not intervene in his role, as doing the right thing is wrong in his case!
Would you do anything else about this in my shoes or just accept things are not going to change?