Advice desperately sought as am really dreading pick up time at school every day...apologise for any rambling....
DS (4.8) started reception this term. I anticipated a few issues...he is very chatty and not intimidated by anyone, very boisterous, and can be a handful. He is also very enthusiastic, eager to learn, able to concentrate if he feels like it and can be very kind and loving. Nursery 'got' him. It was quite strict, small groups, structured playtime etc. He would sometimes misbehave but nothing out of the ordinary apparently.
He's at a lovely, smallish (one form entry school) which I am happy with and DD is in Y2 and there have never been any issues with her behaviour- she is a model pupil at school. (Not so much at home but never mind).
Small town catchment area, know a lot of the parents, lots of siblings etc.
There were a few issues with his behaviour in the class but these have got better and whilst not perfect I think he is realising that he is at school, he can't have the teacher's undivided attention etc. Unlike lots of the children he is not overawed by the school experience and I think that caused a few problems.
But in the playground, by all accounts, he is being a nightmare. He knows a lot of the older children through DD and he is trying to play with them all the time, disrupting their games and being annoying and being very rough. Lots of pushing, shoving etc. They in turn, I think, are winding him up as they know he is an easy target and then telling the teacher about every little thing he does. (I've seen the winding up first hand). I know quite a few of the boys involved and they are nice boys but quite capable of extremely rough behaviour too. He is getting into trouble every break time and they are keeping a log of it all which I don't have a problem with but I just don't think they are doing much to help him.
He doesn't seem to be playing with the other reception children at all, bar a couple, just making a beeline for the older kids and there seems to be no structure in the playground at all, the teachers just sort of stand around until someone tells them someone has done something naughty! I have walked past the playground a few times recently and there is loads of really, really rough play going on, particularly among the reception kids which seems to go unnoticed. (all batman, super heros, star wars type stuff that then gets out of hand) although have witnessed a couple of full on fights.
I'm just not sure what to do about it. I've talked and talked to him about it and he always says that he's just playing- he just can't seem to stop himself going to far. I completely agree that it needs to be stopped but I think school need to help a bit- they know playtime is a trigger and I think they should be doing more to encourage the reception children to play together. I also think he is being slightly unfairly targeted as I know lots of boys in his class and have seen just as bad behaviour at parties etc from they and in the playground, it's just DS is under the spotlight. However, I would prefer him to be under the spotlight if it meant we might get a bit of useful suggestions from the school.
His teacher just says to wait and see but I think she thinks he has some sort of behavioural problem. My gut is that he hasn't willing to be open minded. Lots of mothers with older boys at the school tell me to not worry as the teacher is 'not good with boys' but is easier said than done! He loves going to school and seems to be getting on ok with the other children in his class. He doesn't seem to be alienating them in the playground as is hell bent on playing with the older kids....
Any suggestions welcome as to how to help him? Sorry bit long!