5 year old excluded-any ideas a.

[LongTallJoanna]

My (just) 5 year old son has just started in foundation. He was sent home a couple if weeks ago following an altercation where he hit 2 older children then refuelled to co-operate with staff, sat blocking the Amin entrance door within was carried to the head's office by head plus 1 staff whereupon he bounced off the walls. Teacher was fab and between us we descended upon him from a great height and he has been as good as gold until today.
This p.m. He made a threatening comment to a fellow pupil, then hit his teacher repeatedly, them assaulted the head plus male staff who were trying to remove him from the room.
The head has excluded him for a day (I struggle to see what good sending a 5year old foundation child home for a day will do as to him it is not a punishment).
Obviously he needs to stop hitting staff (he also has similar behaviour at home which we deal with as best we can) but I am concerned that the new, acting head is taking rather draconian measures that will ultimately just interrupt his education, and not sort the underlying issue out. The school seems to not know how to react when he ignores staff instructions.
Any thoughts on behaviour management at school or home? Have done charts and rewards t death but they seem t have a very limited shelf life with him.

This sounds worrying. Has he always had anger issues. Has he ever been referred to anyone to see if there's any underlying medical condition?

Sorry for all the questions. Just trying to get a better picture.

Quite often children who are difficult at home will be angels at school so this is not a case of testing boundaries. I think the measures are to protect other children and reassure other parents at this stage. I guess they will be seeking advice.

Hi what are the school saying? Does he have a iap in place? Are there certain triggers to these episodes? Sorry for all the questions just trying to get a better idea.
I actually agree that excluding won't be helping the situation as this is what many children want to happen.

Sorry you are going through this.You are probably in shock with it all, but you need to meet with the school to start a plan of what to do next. I think you need to be looking a more serious strategies than behaviour charts. You imply his behaviour is challenging at home as well, so I'd ask for a meeting with the SENCo. You need to work together to get to the bottom of why this behaviour is happening and what school and you, together can do to minimise this behaviour. You mention that the school doesn't seem to know what to do when he ignores staff instructions, does he ignore you? If so what do you do that works and have you shared this with school?

Are you in the UK?

But if he's excluded and you don't take him out or let him doing anything fun and get on with your jobs whilst he has to amuse himself (but no TV or video games) chances are he'll be wanting to go back to school soon.

I think an educational psychologist will probably observe him but think schools get limited access to those. In the meantime you need to work with school on a strategy that can be carried over from school to home if possible.

But this is just personal opinion- I'm not a teacher (though have some knowledge of education departments)

A referral to CAMHS? Observation from Ed Psych? A referral to Community Paediatrics? If he is violent both at home and school then I would seek professional support.

Exclusion isn't just a punishment for the child, it will also give the other children a break from his behaviour, and will also send them the message that assaulting teachers and the head is completely unacceptable. It would hopefully also convey this to your son.

This behaviour sounds extreme for a five year old, I do think you're going to need professional help and some sort of assessment. Hopefully the school will do a referral.

Part of the reason for excluding a child is so that the school can demonstrate that a child is having particular problems. If you start going down the SEN route, which sounds like you will have to, the seriousness of the problem will be highlighted by the exclusion. It could work in your favour and get you the support you need. As Balloonist says, it is also reassure other parents that the school isn't going to take this sort of behaviour lightly.

That said, your DS is in foundation. He has barely started school and an exclusion is not really going to register with him. You have to wonder if it is of any benefit to your DS other than as a way of making you start to seek more help but it would be better if they just came out and said it wouldn't it?

probably not a hugely helpful answer but if I was a member of staff being physically attacked by a child be they 5 or 11 I wouldn't want them there either hence the exclusion. The head has a duty of care to not just the other children but also the staff in the school.

Yes of course Periwinkle007. Good point

I just remember my mum (teacher) coming home a couple of times bruised/scratched from children doing this (in yr1/2). It always shocked me even as a child myself.

OP , If it was me in this situation i would want to talk to the school about how we can work together to address this situation. In my experience, excluding a 5 year old even for just a day is quite a drastic intervention which suggests that his behaviour was really challenging/disruptive in the class.

Has this behaviour been evident at preschool? What have your thoughts been about his home behaviour until now - have you seen it as a problem or just 'toddler frustration'?

Did you anticipate that he'd behave like this at school?

I'm trying to build a picture of whether this is an extreme reaction to a change of scene, or just his 'normal' behaviour becoming a problem now that he is at a structured setting.

I am sorry that you are having these issues with your son. Has your son seen a community paediatrian? What is his general development like? Has he had his speech, sight and hearing checked.

I think that the school has done the right thing excluding your son. It will give the school some head space to think on how best to support him. Reception children are deadly tired at this point in the term. Maybe your son would be better off attending school mornings only.