Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How do you get your kids to remember their stuff?!

27 replies

BornToFolk · 07/10/2013 18:46

DS has just started year 1. I think he's forgotten something every day so far. Either his jumper gets left behind, or his lunchbox or, most often, his reading book. Today it was all 3, plus he forgot to go to ICT Club at lunchtime...

I remind him at the beginning of the day but by the end of the day it's been totally forgotten.

Is there any solution, or is it just an inescapable fact of school life?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MilkRunningOutAgain · 07/10/2013 19:00

This won't help, I have 2 kids, one in yr 6 has never lost or forgotten anything, nor have I ever had to remind him about things, it comes naturally to him. But his DS, in yr 3, loses and forgets and I remind and get cross, and so it goes on. She is a little better than in yr r and I hope she'll grow out of it. So in my experience it's in their natures and hard to help a dc who is forgetful. I have tried to help dd get organised and write lists and plan and use a calendar, but the lists get lost, the planning forgotten and we are not quite there yet with the calendar. Hopefully someone else may give some tips that work. Now dd is in ks2 she is expected to hand in homework and go to clubs and things without endless reminders. And she is forgetting a lot of stuff.

Adikia · 07/10/2013 20:57

The only thing I've found so far is running through the checklist at the school gates so we can run back for whatever it is we've forgotton today.

PastSellByDate · 08/10/2013 10:44

Still struggling with this one.

Have found that sounding a bit like a pilot going through a check list as we leave the house has helped.

I say: Watter bottle?

DD1 says: Check

DD2 walking aimlessly about is asked again and then DD2 says: Check

I say: Rain Coats?

DD1 says: Check

DD2 looks blank - I say: 'Do you know where your rain coat is' (usually a hunt and it is then found in book bag). DD2 then holds it up and says: 'Check'

I say: Book Bags?

DDs say: Check.

I then announce: 'Good to go! Come on soldiers!' and out the door we march.

I have however learned that DD2 never remembers a raincoat and have put a spare in the boot of our car.

A friend has one of those sand timers and she turns off the tv, flips the sand timer and says you have 2 minutes to get your stuff together. Winner chooses what video game to play today after school. She checks them over to see they have what they need and off they go. She says this works a treat for her boys and has stopped the endless fighting about which game they want to play.

HTH

lljkk · 08/10/2013 11:05

He's 5. They are supposed to remember to get to the toilet on time. That's about it.

Original poster

BornToFolk · 08/10/2013 11:15

Well, today he's gone off to school with a piece of card in his pocket to remind him to bring home his jumper, reading book, lunchbox and any letters. As long as he remembers to look at the card, we should be fine...

It's not so much the getting ready for school, it's remembering to bring everything home again!

lljkk I do agree with you but the school seem to be expect him to remember a lot i.e. to change his reading book and bring it home. This is the important one, really. I can send him back him to find his jumper but changing his book needs to be done during the day.

I do think it's too much responsibility for Yr1s actually. A forgotten jumper is one thing but a forgotten reading book several times a week has more serious implications. It's parents evening this week so I'll be bringing it up with the teacher.

OP posts:

BlueChampagne · 08/10/2013 14:02

Reminders on my phone for things that don't happen every day. Otherwise I guess it's just a question of training. But if the teacher has some good ideas, do come back and share!

Ferguson · 13/10/2013 23:27

Hi -

You may not like this as it's a bit 'sexist', but if you know any of the girls in his class, one of them would probably be happy to remind him to go through his 'check list', just before 'home time'.

(As you no doubt realise, females are often MUCH better at things than males.)

One Yr1 / Yr 2 class I worked had a boy who did have a medical condition that prevented him remembering such things, and the whole class (in a kindly, supportive way) did check with him before he left the classroom at the end of the afternoon.

Original poster

BornToFolk · 14/10/2013 10:46

This past week has been better!
I've been putting a piece of card in his trouser pocket which has a list of things he needs to remember. He told me that at the end of the day the teacher tells them to get anything they need from their trays and line up by the door, so I told him that this is his cue to look at his list and check he's got everything. I've also been reminding him every day to look at his card. He's got a lunchtime club today that he's forgotten to go to 3 weeks in a row so I put another reminder in his lunchbox to go to that!

Bribery also seems to have worked - he asked to go to McDonalds after swimming last week and I said if he remembered everything for a whole week, I'd take him this week.

OP posts:

Aeroaddict · 14/10/2013 10:52

It does sound like they are being expected to remember an awful lot for their age. My DS, also in year one, forgets his jumper/coat or both most days, so he gets sent back in to get it. The teacher or TA change his reading books, I don't think we'd ever get them changed if it was down to him to remember to do it!

Adikia · 14/10/2013 10:57

You may not like this as it's a bit 'sexist', but if you know any of the girls in his class, one of them would probably be happy to remind him to go through his 'check list', just before 'home time'. -Oh how I wish DD was one of those girls, she has a memory like a goldfish!

Original poster

BornToFolk · 14/10/2013 11:54

(As you no doubt realise, females are often MUCH better at things than males.)

I don't actually. I'd rather teach my DS to take responsbility for his own belongings, rather than expect the nearest person in possession of a uterus to do it for him.

OP posts:

MrsTruper · 14/10/2013 19:26

For the mornings I used a list and got DD to take responsibility for reading it and taking the right things TO school......

Coming home from school was trickier but it does get better by year 3 (I found).

Now in yr 4 SHE is reminding ME of things we need eg money, permission slips etc !!!!!

ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/10/2013 21:12

As Milk says, there are forgetty children and remembery children. I have two of each. I honestly think they are born that way, but with practice you can train the forgetty ones to improve a bit with age.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/10/2013 21:14

Oh and by the way, my only daughter is one of the forgetty ones.

ProphetOfDoom · 14/10/2013 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/10/2013 21:36

Oh yes, when they reach adolescence it definitely gets worse again! DS1 (Y9) is absent minded to the point where he's almost a caricature.

lougle · 14/10/2013 21:37

With DD2 I did it step by step.

"DD2 coat. You must bring home your coat."

"DD2 well done for getting your coat. Water bottle. You must bring your water bottle."

Then:

"DD2, book bag. You must bring your book bag."

Eventually, she got there.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/10/2013 21:41

A couple of weeks ago he lost his socks at sailing, lost his way while walking home, finally arrived home an hour late with blisters but no sailing kit as he'd left it in the clubhouse. I drove him back there to look for it but he couldn't find it. As soon as we got home, he remembered that he'd actually left it in a different part of the clubhouse from where he'd been looking. Seriously, you couldn't make it up.

Original poster

BornToFolk · 14/10/2013 21:46

Maybe a laminated card hole-punched and tied to book bag with a Mcdonalds M on the bottom?

I like that! No McDonalds today as he forgot his PE kit and jumper. And managed to lose the card that was in his pocket...

He's changed his reading book every day for a week though and that was the thing that was really concerning me, so I'm calling that success!

OP posts:

FamiliesShareGerms · 14/10/2013 21:54

My Yr3 DS would still forget his head if it wasn't securely attached to his body... Am still working on the strategy to get him to remember everything - a mix of bribery and threats and having mo shame at marching him through the school hall to go through the lost property box even when that is, apparently, embarrassing in front of everyone

Biscuitsneeded · 15/10/2013 22:49

How did I end up with just the forgetty kind then?!
And yes, while every fibre of my feminist being loathes the idea that they might grow up and then go running to the nearest person with a uterus to sort out all their chaos, since I am currently that nearest uterus-bearer, and pretty much have to do all their thinking for them because they seem so spectacularly incapable despite all my best efforts, what should I do? Stop enabling the forgettiness by not phoning around to retrieve mislaid items, stop replacing lost objects and make them do without, dock pocket money for music lessons missed because they forgot to go...?

mikkii · 15/10/2013 23:05

So far this term DD1 (yr 2) has lost her school coat. I have looked in lost property twice, spoken to the office and the class teacher. Currently wearing a (pink patterned) non uniform coat and hoping desperately to be told off so I can can rant that it is school's fault. I sent her in with coat, came out saying coat is lost

DS (yr 5) has lost his jumper and two water bottles. Ranted to class teacher in absence letter this morning asking for him to be made to look for them he has been told (when I bought this jumper to replace a lost one) that he pays for any replacements. Currently going to school without jumper.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 16/10/2013 07:21

Yes, from Y7 we charge them half the cost of the music lesson if they forget to go, and part of the cost of any lost items, on a sliding scale. The latter rule gives them an incentive to actually look for the item in lost property.

AChickenCalledKorma · 16/10/2013 08:41

God help the boy that runs to DD2 for help with organisation. She's good at remembering whatever is the latest toy she's trying to smuggle into school ... not so great at homework folders, cardigans, water bottles etc.....

Morgause · 16/10/2013 08:42

Lists for each day on the kitchen cupboards help a bit. But both DSs were pretty much hopeless.

Flip

1 2