In year transfer? Complications. Feel trapped.

[Endymion]

Sorry if this is long but I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Background

Have 3 dcs. Eldest is in year 6 at primary. Happy and doing well. Middle dc is in year 3 at same primary. Youngest is due to start school in sept 2014.

Dc2 has never really enjoyed school. Has had shortish periods of being settled and resigned, interspersed with shortish periods of being very anti going to school. But never happy. He seems to shrink when we get there. Blank faced and just somehow small. He is very very bright. Reading age of 12 at 5 (reception). It's his thing. Not necessarily reflected in nc level 3s across board at end of ks1.

I'm feeling pretty fed up. Transition every year is a trouble. Seems to take almost half a term every September/October for the next teacher to get organised. He has since year 1 been reading with his older sibling's year group but every new academic year it's like the new teacher had no idea. He's listless. He has been seen by borough social communication advisor because there was some suspicion that he might have had aspergers or NVLD. this followed a private ed psych report we got when he was in year 1 and miserable. While he's not miserable now, he's not happy. Services are hard pressed and he is doing well academically, is compliant and not actively miserable or school refusing.

I don't know what to do. I've spoken to LA about possibly transferring him to a different school, butk wonder whether its just school that he doesn't like, and that given he has trouble with making friends and dealing with large groups of people already, whether transferring him would actually make things worse for him.

Another issue is that I am vice chair of the governing body. The school has gone through a rocky patch lately, got a new head 18 months ago who has been trying her hardest to turn things round, but there've been a lot of children transferred and I just feel rubbish and to be honest really feeble about filling a transfer form to get her to sign. The LA Won't even tell me if there are places at other schools without me doing this.

I'm just struggling to know what to do for the best.

I would change school if this were my child. I have experienced similar with a very withdrawn and sad child. There was a big difference almost immediately once she started a new school and bit by bit the coinfidence and general happiness returned. I was also a school goverenor at the old school, so I completely get what you are saying abot feeling guilty. But the way I looked at iot was that different schools suit different children - leaving the old school wasn't a vote of "no confidence" in the school itself. Although I realised once my dd was at the new school that the education at the old one wasn't all that graet by comparison.

Could you maybe approach some schools directly, to find out of ther might be any places available?

What transition every year? Do you just mean the process of moving up a form?

Sorry for typos io the above.

Should say that both my dds have changed schools - one because of bullying, the other because of general unhappiness. In both cases, things improived massively once we did so.

Just on the practicalities, if the LA is insisting you get the head to sign a form before they will accept an application from you they are breaking the Admissions Code. You have the right to apply for any school at any time. They are effectively giving your child's current school a veto which is not allowed. If they try to insist that you get the head to sign tell them you will refer the matter to the LGO.

Thanks for info and advice.

Yes - I did mean the transition to next year group. Is as if there's no handover at all - so no continuity IYSWIM.

That's interesting PRH. THink will get a form and ponder. I tried ringing a couple of local schools to see whether they had places but they both referred me back to the LA. I feel a bit like I would need to know if there are places before going out on a limb. But may have to!

I need to shift this feeling of guilt/responsibility. That's my problem and not ds's.

I was in same boat last year.

we did in year transfer.

felt bad as same sort case as you school 1 dong badly others were leaving.
we had been there since preschool
Se needed additional support and found transition r to 1 hard and 1 to 2 was disaster so after 1 term she moved.

Head only found out once i had filled in year admission form
sent to la.

They then made offer which I accepted then la woman cheerfully said oh we emailed new school and old one.

I had not even had chance to talk to head, did not want him to find out like that as liked the man

Arranged appointment where he blew me off got dumped with deputy head who had no idea who i was who my child was or what it was about.

I told her and her reaction was if you want to leave leave.

New school smaller , much more interventions, more activity

It was scary but she settled amazingly quickly nearly been a year but was such difficult time.

At this point just veiw a few schools

they will tell you if they have places or not

I had only 1 school in mind. Emailed them, email back they had vacancies 3.
We looked around. decided to apply rang la and was only 1 vacancy as 2 were reserved so acted quickly and so relived got a place.

I gave notice on last day term at 3 pm handed letter into reception.
3,10 picked up dd and asked teacher if could have a word.

Told her dd would not be back next term.
god she went mental , defensive was relived to walk out school gates and never go back.

But what made it awquard and same with you.

you have elder child at same old school.

I had 2 younger ones at preschool next door.

lots parents seemed bit miffed by fact i had left.

They kept coming up to me for entire year saying its getting better and defending the school or telling me who left. since moved younger 2 this year so clean break.
but another woman who left moved eldest 1st, got r child in and reception starter which gave sibling link to finally get her year 2 child moved.

new school would give youngest a sibling link.

much easier move 1 or 2 now than all 3.