DD in Y1, seems to be behind her peers, how can I help her?

[loubielou31]

Sorry everyone, one of those anxious parent things that I didn't think I'd ever do. I think mainly I'm looking for some reassurance that not being top of the class (or even at the middle) in year one doesn't mean she isn't going to excel at these things later and get lots of GCSE's, and also some practical advice as to how best to help her.

DD1 is in Y1. She is already 6, the oldest in her class so all this stuff about August birthdays is no reassurance for us.
The reading books that she is coming home with are book bands yellow, this is lower than all her friends. (tbh she is able to read slightly harder books than the ones she gets from school but this is what her teachers seem to think is appropriate) And from what I know about the children in her class she is mainly working with the lower, but not lowest ability children. Her teacher says she is doing fine but maybe I think she should be better than just fine iyswim.

For background, she could only really write her name when starting Reception, she didn't show an interest in letters and words so I didn't push it. She's only really been keen to read since about Easter, before then it was a real battle.
She's quite shy, especially with new adults (but not with other children so she has plenty of friends) so I'm a bit worried that she doesn't show what she's really capable of and therefore isn't expected to do as much as she could, (She wouldn't even speak at Rainbows for the first few weeks)
She is very creative and her drawings are amazing and quite detailed, (even if I do say so myself). And she knows a lot of things about the weather or about trees and animals, things she's interested in.

So I'm concerned that she perhaps isn't quite keeping up with her friends and that her shyness might be holding her back, what can I do to help her? Thank you wise Mumsnetters

well yellow is fine for the start of Yr1 with reading. I have a september birthday DD in Yr1 too and there is an expectation that being older means they will be top and that isn't the case. Some will, some won't. At the end of the day they have all been at school exactly the same amount of time, no longer just because they are older. If she wasn't interested in any of the reading/writing side of things until Easter then she has made good progress and will no doubt continue to move through things, perhaps speeding up soon. They don't learn in a predictable fashion, it is in bursts.

If she CAN read better then you could perhaps ask what in particular they want her to work on, perhaps they think the lower books are building her confidence but perhaps she is ready to try the next ones and that might boost her confidence (or it could scare her). It may be they want her to be really confident and fluent before moving on and just don't feel she is quite there yet.

It is hard if your child isn't achieving quite what you hope they will when they will but not every child can be top of the class and not every group of friends will be learning at the same pace.

If the teacher isn't worried then I don't think you should be either. To encourage her and to help build her reading skills keep reading to her, keep listening to her read, make some word bingo games of the common words, she may still be sounding out some words which if she could recognise them more quickly would help her. You can get jigsaw sets (think WHSmiths do one) where you can spell out words, look them up online and make your own. get some magnetic letters and words and play with them, making up silly sentences, little fairy tales etc. Play with words basically.

confidence wise then rainbows is good, practice reading out things with lots of character and expression, perhaps read some poetry to her or some plays (Julia Donaldson type stuff - she has done a plays to perform book I think) and practice 'performing' them, like you were doing a drama class. or make some puppets and practice performing stories with them. It might make her more confident about speaking loudly and clearly which will then feed into her reading out loud skills.

Hi
Not sure I can be of much help but just wanted to sympathise. I am also in a similar sitation with year 1 DD (I have a thread on AIBU about it!).

She too is slightly behind and I feel that she has already been "labled" by the school as lower ability. The thing is like your DD she is bright and creative with subject that interest her but if she's not really keen on the subject she won't really try and obviously that comes across badly at school. I also think that she doesn't really show the school all she can do. She panics in pressured situations and probably just clams up. For example her comprehension at home is great but school seem to think she can't do it!

tbh I don't really know what to do about it. I feel very sad and stressed by it! Sorry to not be of help but just wanted you to know you are not alone!

My DS2 is also yellow book band 3 in Y1, to be honest I thought this was the normal range for Y1. If you look at the ORT bands it confirms it.

If she is making enough progress and you are happy with her reading then I wouldn't worry. All of mine were yellow book band 3 in Y1 as they all started reading in April of Reception and now in later years none of them are behind, in fact one is above average and one is way above.

Reading in particular clicks at different stages for many children..

Hi loubielou31

First off there are all sorts of success and being the best reader or best with numbers in Year R isn't the only one. Ultimately, you'll probably be far happier if they have 'real success' later in life - i.e. become a happy, independent and hopefully financially reasonably secure adult.

Second - my DD1 really didn't progress above her nursery school level in YR and Y1. A number of problems: happy kid with tendency to day dream, mother (from US) so thought this was 'way too early to start school' and didn't really take all the let's get reading, adding, etc... stuff very seriously and at the time both DH & I were in very demanding jobs (fulltime + lots of overtime). School also had very little homework - so we just left it to school and weren't that geared up early on to help at home with DD1.

DD1 finished KS1 with 1s on her SATs and we realised that alarm bells should be ringing.

Our solutions were these:

For maths:
Signed DD1 up to an on-line maths tutorial. This was for several reasons but fundamentally DD1 didn't understand how to add/ subtract (the actual mechanics of it) and was really struggling. She needed clearer explanation & practice. Her class is very noisy (single form school) and I wonder if during Year R and Year 1, she just never quite understood what was being said over the general hubbub.

Many have suggested: Komodo Maths/ Mathletics/ Maths Whizz & Mathsfactor. We've used mathsfactor & never looked back. [I've posted elsewhere on these - but just type in names on google and explore - all should offer free trials]. DD2 joined mathsfactor from mid-way Year R out of shear jealousy of her sister seeming to have so much fun 'playing' maths.

An extra hour spread out in small bits over a week on any of these websites will cumulatively make a huge difference. DD1 is now on top maths table (after years at bottom & middle) and has been told they're putting her forward for a L6 exam at KS2 SATs - which frankly is unbelievably wonderful, given we started with a 6 year old who couldn't take 1 from 10.

For early reading:
Jolly Phonics workbooks - work through key phonics sounds, and provide handwriting practice in a colouring book format. Really useful. Missed these for DD1, but by the time DD2 was in Year R we knew about these and using them helped a lot. A page or two a week, just gently working your way through will help reinforce learning at school -especially if school also using jolly phonics.

Oxford OWL: www.oxfordowl.co.uk/home - has both early maths and reading advice + games/ resources.

The reading section is really useful and lots of free e-books.

We swear by a 'reading routine'. We read every night with one DD whilst the other DD has her bath. With Year R non-readers, it is as important to hear books as it is to be attempting reading. We started very slowly, letting our DDs see us moving our fingers along words and encouraging them to pick out words they could read (i.e. having them read 'THE' throughout an entire book, every time it appears - or having them read the characters name (SAM, etc... - when a simple & easily sounded out word). As they start to sound out words (de-code) - try and encourage them, but give them a good rest between attempts. We used to have DD2 read one paragraphs (or page if mainly pictures) and we'd read the next 2-3.

Both girls find it a bit boring to always be reading so we try to spice it up. We take turns reading, sometimes opt to read an old favourite (Gruffalo is very popular, especially when ill). DH & I also read childhood favourites to them. We also have a policy of no seeing the movie without reading the book first. Thus both DDs are listening to DH read the Hobbit and DD1 (now Y6) is having to read out loud now & then too.

My main advice is remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. You clearly are a concerned Mum and want your DC to do well. That's brilliant and probably the best thing you can do for your DC.

My advice is try and cultivate a good relationship with the teachers whereby you understand what they really want you to be working on at home right now (Always a great question to ask at parent/ teacher evenings: What do you think we should be focusing on at home right now?). Don't fall into the trap of blaming the teacher/ school - the reality is there are 3 of you in this relationship. Sometimes the child just isn't quite ready yet (especially at 4)/ sometimes they are. Remember that in many regions of the world, school doesn't start (and learning formally to read) until the year you turn 7 - so please be assured you do have time and your DS will get there in the end.

HTH

Thank you ladies.

PastSellByDate Of course, children in Germany, Sweden and so many other countries don't even begin formal learning until they are seven and they all seem to manage to catch up and even (we are told) out perform British children by the time they are sitting formal exams. I had forgotten this.
averywoomummy you are right you were of no help at all but it is comforting to know that there will be parents all over who want the best for their children and who are worrying about their educations. Your DD does sound quite similar to mine.
Periwinkle I will try the "acting" out of stories. Anything where she feels she is the centre of attention and she will just clam up. I want to help with this because I worry she will miss out on fun things because she doesn't like trying new things

I sympathise. My DS is the same. In yrR was fine, but now seems to be struggling in yr 1. We thought he was fine, because his reading at home was fine (he's on yellow band too, so maybe it's fine because it's easy?) He has got 6/6 in all his spelling tests but apparently he struggles with writing and needs a lot of support in class. This is completely different to his pre school and reception year. He has started to say he hates school and doesn't want to go back . Again, completely unlike him. I thought I would give him 10 minutes a night writing practice where he could copy out a sentence from a book he likes. He also has trouble concentrating and following instructions, then the teacher gets cross and tells him off, and he gets even more upset. I'm not sure what to do about that! He does it at home too and it's infuriating!

if she doesn't like being the centre of attention then I would start with puppets as then the attention isn't on her but on the puppets (hook up a screen for her to stand behind and then she can hold the puppets up above it)
then as she gets more confident with that then you can move onto it being her rather than toys or puppets.

That makes sense, we'll get the puppets out over the weekend.

Hi, I was a bit worried about DD in YRr so we made few trips to the library but we didn't get too much time so we got books in the post from reading chest just one level over what they were giving her at school it seems to be well. I hope this helps.