Reception DD having problems with another child

[moonbug4]

Hello,

Long term lurker coming out for some advice. My dd started reception last month, she's settled in well but has been spending a lot of her time with a girl she knew from nursery. I know this girl had some behavioural issues in nursery (I witnessed an incident myself where she was trying to reach around the staff to hit another child) but my dd hasn't had any problems with her until now.

In the last week or so dd has mentioned a couple of low level incidents with this girl e.g tearing up a picture DD has drawn but last Friday before she went to sleep she told me her tummy was sore (generally a sign something was bothering her) & she told me about a specific incident where this girl had "done hurties" on her and run off with her jumper. Dd told the lunchtime staff & they dealt with it, but I was planning to have a quiet word with her teacher tomorrow when I pick her up tomorrow ( first time I'll see teacher as she goes to breakfast club/ after school mon & tues).

Today I had a call from school to say dd had "tripped over in the playground" and had a head injury. However she was in good spirits, teacher was happy to keep her in school. It was only when I got her home afterwards that she told me the reason she tripped was because this other girl had pulled her hood hard as "she was cross when I asked her to play with me".

I'm going to ring the school first thing tomorrow & try and make a formal appointment to speak to the teacher after school tomorrow, as my dd has a nasty bump & is clearly quite upset. I was just wondering how much the school can do in situations like this as I appreciate the other child is only 4. We've been encouraging dd to try & play with other children & stay away from this girl, I've arranged a play date with another child from school later this week.

Apologies for the length of this post, thank you for reading this far. Any advice on how to handle much appreciated, you may have guessed she's my pfb so I've no experience of dealing with schools!

I think you are doing the right thing by encouraging friendships with other children. I also think you are doing the right thing by voicing your concerns with the teachers. All I can say is "good luck" and I hope that the school keeps and eye on things.

It ound like you're doing everything you should be doing, I imagine what the school will do at the moment is keep an eye on it then talk to the girl/her parents if anything else happens.

^ sounds

I agree you are doing what I would do. The little girl in question might only be 4 but as you say she has a history of this and the school has a duty of care to the other children as well as a responsibility to discipline this little girl and teach her what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. How they do this I am not sure but they will have various procedures in place which they could follow.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it's reassuring to hear that you think I am doing the right thing.

Dd was so quiet & unhappy this afternoon, I feel really bad that I didn't go straight to pick her up when the school rang as she clearly wasn't "happy in herself" as I was told

The main reason I want to speak to the teacher is to make sure she is fully aware of the 2 incidents where dd was physically hurt as they happened at lunchtime & I've no idea what sort of communication there is between the lunchtime supervisors and the teachers.

We've spoken to dd again about staying away from this girl for now, and hopefully she is starting to understand this. She wasn't particularly close to her at nursery, I think in the early days at school she latched onto a familiar person in the completely new school environment.

Hopefully the problem will go away naturally as dd makes other new friends, I think I'll try and set up some more play dates in the next month or so as I'm gradually starting to get to know more parents.

Thanks again for your support.