Should home work be this hard?

[Redcliff]

Am sitting here listening DP trying to do homework with 6yo DS. DP is clearly at the tearing hair out stage. DS has two or three simple pages of homework a week related to work they have been doing in class. He is doing well in school although is not the quickest worker.

One page of homework (so maybe 6 math’s questions of the "you have £2 - you buy x for 50p - how much do you have left) can take 2 hours. I really don't think it's too hard and when he focuses he gets it - he just hates doing it so much that he will wiggle, drop pens, need the look and so on - anything to get out of it. It’s not unheard of for us to spend a total of 5 hours over a weekend doing homework which is surly too long for a 6yo!!!!

I feel I have 3 options:

1. Not do all the homework and just focus on the one we feel is the most useful
2. Carry on like this and kill any love of learning
3. Not do any school homework and come up with other learning opportunities (like science experiments, reading books he likes or writing a short story on a topic he has some passion about.

I suspect he may be dyslexic (as am I) but can't get him tested till he is 7. Any tips on coping with this would be great.

I would do hw for half an hour maximum and write a note telling the teacher that was how long you spent on it.

Do the school not give guidelines on how long homework should take?
Ds2 is almost 7 and in year 2. He has numeracy and literacy every weekend, and each piece should take no longer than 20 minutes.
If he hasn't finished after that time, I write 'this is 20 minutes worth if work' and sign it. (I've never needed to,but thats the procedure)

If its because he was messing around, and doing anything he could to get out if homework, I would speak to his teacher :)

If you're absolutely sure it's not too hard for him- that it's won't, not can't- then bribery. Pure and simple. Anything to get it done. A pound a question. Cheap at double the price. But not today. Stop what you're doing now and come to it fresh tomorrow with the new rules. Which are sit down, crack on, get it done and here's the money.

And yes, when my oldest was little I would have been horrified at that suggestion too. But I'm older and wiser now. I know that boring homework does not "instil a love of learning" or "teach good study habits". It just makes everyone tense and unhappy and spoils the weekend.

Hi - retired TA here -

Let him 'play' with real coins, of an appropriate quantity and value to perform the sums in his homework. Maths works much better when children can handle and count real objects; abstract numbers on a page don't convey much to young children in the early stages of numeracy.

Is he Yr2? Younger children take a while to realize the value of individual coins, and only count how many coins they have.

Personally, I'm not keen on bribery, but at least using real coins to 're-enact' the sum you can let him keep some if you wish!

(I send a Numeracy info 'post' to some parents, particularly about Number Bonds and learning Tables. Let me know if you would like a copy.)

If he is taking this long with the activity at home and uses avoidance tactics I wonder how quickly he completes similar activities at school? It would be worth having a word with the teacher about this to check. Is it specifically maths homework tasks or is it generally homework?
How long have you got for this homework? Could you break it into two or three questions a day and have a carrot of something special when he has completed a couple of questions at a time?

I would say the same as Ferguson - make it real for him. Give him coins and objects to represent the problem. And when you've spent half an hour on it, write a note on the top to tell the teacher how long he's spent and how much he's struggled/what support you've given him. If you don't the teacher won't know what a battle you're going through and will assume it's OK to keep sending similar stuff home. Have you got a timer you can set? For example, by the time the pinger on the cooker goes, if you have answered 3 questions you can have a sticker/whatever. And if you've done 6, then we'll stop for today and carry on tomorrow.

And ask the teacher for strategies. He/she will have heard it many times.

Thanks for all the replies and good ideas - all very helpful. I like the idea about the coins - if he could hold "numbers" in his hand it could help. I may indeed have to resort to the old bribe - we had a star chart last year which worked but he has said he doesn't want another one so the more immediate reward of money may help although he does already earn money for household chores. The breaking down is worth a try but we may have to much to do for that to work - we get it on a Friday and it has to be in on a Wednesday.

This week we have 5 math questions (done - took about 1.5 hours), 14 words to read, copy, and then write without looking (this normally takes about 2 hours) and 4 sentences to correct i.e. write with the correct punctuation (this is likely to take about 2 hours as well) - is this just too much homework? He is in Y2.

I like the idea of the 20 mins rule but it will mean he will only do about a 1/4 of the homework that he is given. I wish it was just math’s but it's all homework - English is worse! We have raised it with the teacher at the last parents evening and he is slower than others in class at getting his work done but no where near as bad as he is at home. Maybe I should meet with her again to just talk about the homework issue - she did mention that others are handing their book in with just some of the homework done so maybe others are finding it hard as well.

DS1 was king of avoidance tactics in y1 & 2.

We had a stand off where he sat for 2 hours in silence once

Don't make it into a battle, it will only make things worse.

Homework is fairly pointless at this age & I'm pretty sure the only lasting effect it can have is a negative one. (Sorry).

So - give him 30 minutes. If he procrastinates it refuses that's fine , just write on the sheet that he has sat at the table for 30 minutes & hasn't done it.

It is about the amount of homework I give to my year 2s. Some romp through the maths in 5 mins and the writing activity in another 5mins. I gather the 14 words you mention are spellings to learn, which I don't send every week.
Other children in my class might take longer, but never the five and a half hours yours is, probably 30 - 45 mins spread over the 5 days in any way that suits family life.
The time taken is more an indicator that either your child is not capable of the work (which reading the rest of your post, I doubt) or is struggling with the focus and motivation to complete it.
I agree a discussion with the teacher is a must. You can negotiate the important parts and agree what approach you can both take to this.

I used to set the egg timer at this age for 20 mins. At this age with my dyslexic son.

However, dawdling, going to the loo or crying do not count. I would tell him to switch his brain on, and really give it a go.

If he only got half done, so be it, I would add a note saying: this as far as he got in the given time.

It seemed fairer, and the end was always in sight, it worked well once we established this routine.

I still use it sometimes!

It worked! I gave him the choice of getting extra pocket money or just doing it for half an hour and he plumped for the latter which goes to show how much he doesn't like doing it. I did half an hour (but stopwatch paused is messing around was going on) and he was more focused and got most done. I feel less stressed and it also means we can do one session after school (as can fit half an hour in then) and so not trying to cram it all in on the weekend.

Thanks to all!