How can i go about getting DD class changed

[lestagal78]

A little backstory, at the tail end of yr3, she was physically attacked on several occasions by another girl. culminating on her being verbally abused by the other childs mother in the playground.

Anyhow I told the school I wasn't happy about her being in the same class as L next year. The school said they didn't feel it necessary. L can't be moved due to history of this behaviour with other children and other parents complaints. I agreed as long as they managed the situation.

Anyhow, there has been 2 more incidences of her attacking DD again this year and feel that that are not safeguarding her properly in class. Any time DD does anything L doesn't like even following teachers instructions then she flies off at DD.

So I've emailed asking to see the head is there anything I need to find to support by case. The classes are small so there is space to move.

Please pull your kid out

School are not keeping her safe

Have you kept your own catalogue of injuries, dates, sites, photos maybe?

You need to follow school whats the word, procedures, before you escalate beyond ht/ govs to the LEA and ofsted

it shouldn't be a case of YOUR daughter having to move - the school should be looking to exclude the other girl or whatever they have to do.

If your daughter is not physically safe at school then I agree she shouldn't be there. verbal abuse is wrong but physical abuse is dangerous. You wouldn't send her anywhere else where she was going to be attacked. however if you do keep her off then you need to make sure everything is documented and the school and governors know exactly why she is off.

I've been in a similar situation only with a ds. My best advice is to follow their procedures absolutely. Where we are it's teacher, head, govenors then on to the LEA/OFSTED. Record everything.

Push it, push it, push it. Don't get fobbed off. For my ds it went on for two years, dh refused to move schools as 'why should we move'. In the end the school 'managed it' by not allowing them to meet - but it still meant my child being restricted. He's just started high school and is now a different child, relaxed and happy.

Thanks. Sorry if I didn't make it clear they are a 2 form entry school. Both classes are well below the legal limit of 30 so I'm happy for her to move into the other class. Still within the same school.

This girl is dangerous, the mother is a useless lump who refuses to see anything wrong in her daughter. For some reason the school are not willing to do anything apart from losing her golden time.

The HT spoke to me yesterday afternoon and made out it was an isolated incident as its been 2!! WHOLE WEEKS!! since she last attacked my daughter. So its not serious, if its not serious why was she there with the class teacher.

I need them to confirm to me that they are prepared to safeguard my daughter. Having a scarred arm from pinching, being pushed over because L was told to sit elsewhere. Yesterday it was having her hand stamped on PE.

This is likely to out me, but this child is banned from my house after she pushed my 2 year old down the stairs when she was 4. So this behaviour has been going on for the last 5 years to my knowledge.

The mother has discredited me everywhere as well. As if I'm over reacting and that her precious L is nothing more than a boisterous child and my DD is lying and being dramatic.

I'm sick of this child, I'm sick of the useless mother and I'm sick of the fact my DD, who although not totally an angel and can be prone to exaggeration deserve this.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get that off my chest.

Please do everything you can but be prepared to remove your child to a new school.

My son was bullied and we wrote to everyone and phoned the police as he was assaulted. No one was bothered and they did nothing.

I looked to move to our nearer school last year, they only had space in one of the 2 year groups I needed. I'd struggle to get 2 from different primaries.

I agreed to management, opposite sides of the classroom, academically they are poles apart so don't do the same level of work in maths etc. so most of the time they don't have to work together. PE proves difficult to manage.

As far as I know there hasn't been any lunchtime incidents to these issues are restricted to lessons. I'm happy with the other class as the other half of her friendship group are in there so all the arguments that the school put forward are useless.

Basically because my dd gets along with everyone except L, sees no harm, doesn't have a best friend it means that she was probably placed in the class to balance out the numbers, the ratios and the ability mix. Moving her would disrupt that balance. Or that was the argument last year.

If it was just a "personality clash", the school would have taken the opportunity to separate them already, therefore I assume that "child X" is not picking solely on your DD.

As the classes aren't full, the school COULD move your DD, but don't want to because either they'd have to swap someone over to take her place, or leave the one class smaller.

They "can't" swap someone over, because they've already promised all the other girls' parents that they can be in the other class, away from "child X".

They can't leave an imbalance, because them all the others in the same boat as your DD would say, "why can you move her, what about our DCs"

The problem is Child X and the school are trying to smooth over it.

Document everything, write in, follow the procedures, eventually the school will have to do something about child X, at the very least to SUPERVISE properly, so as to keep all the DCs safe.

L can't be moved due to history of this behaviour with other children and other parents complaints.

So YOUR complaints don't matter, but theirs do?
How very absurd.
Sorry you're going thru this, I can't say what's best, but I'd be incensed, too.

I would put it to the school that unless they move her you will involve the police in any future incidents. They will soon take some notice.

Thanks for the responses.

Basically L is the problem and has been since reception. I assume she has SEN of some description as the HT mentioned the school has to inclusive of all SEN. She then moved away from me to speak to L's parent, who was next to me. I have got an appointment Monday morning with the HT to go over the incident in more detail and how they are planning on safeguarding DD. I'm not going to allow others to get their child away from her but leave mine in the class. They do have another similar child in that class but they have never been an issue to DD.

I would suggest that she does need someone to supervise her behaviour, but again the school seem reluctant.

I'm not sure if the police can do anything she has literally just turned 9.

Sounds like other parents have succeeded in making enough of a fuss that the school will listen to them and they are taking advantage of your reasonableness. So I really think now is the time to say you have tried long enough to be reasonable, they are not keeping your child safe and they have to sort it out now. If the head still won't move your daughter, take it to the governors.

I think it's also worth implying that you are looking very seriously at taking her out of that school. If both classes have spare places, the school is losing out financially and won't want numbers to drop yet further.

Thank you, maybe I have been too reasonable with this. But they have failed to deliver on their promises to me for my daughter to be happy.

She isn't happy, she is becoming a shadow of my bright, sparky, confident child that will give anything a go. This child is being allowed to flourish while mine is losing her spark. If they don't take it seriously I will be moving her and her brother.

This school used to be brilliant, my eldest thrived and the school wasn't bothered about Ofsted but pastorial care. The new HT seems to prefer getting an outstanding Ofsted. But is it at the expense of pastorial care.

I hope your meeting went well, it sounds like they should have 2 classes. one for L and one for all the others. It amazes me that children have to tolerate behaviour that as adults we would ring the police.

A class for L would be a good idea.

Ok I'm back from the meeting. I lost a little high ground when it turns out that DD had a bit of a hand in the situation.

Anyhow the upshot is her class won't be changed this year but in future years she will not be placed with her at all. Not ideal but what can I do.

They are putting in place strategies for both girls to try and manage the situation. We had a good talk about DD's needs as well and in order for them to meet L's needs they won't be neglecting hers.

As I said previously, they are academically poles apart as well as personality wise. This is what caused a lot of the flashpoint last week. My DD was being seen as overbearing by other child and she snapped. So some work will be done on trying to make DD more aware that being bossy isn't always going to be received well.

I have reassurances they are doing all they can to manage her behaviour. As they pointed out they can do little at lunchtime. Found out if the mother ever threatens a child again in school time she is on for a playground ban.

It's a case of wait and see. I'm not totally convinced this child has improved.

They can do stuff for lunch time. Depending on the size of the school (and you said there were two classes so I'm presuming it's a resonable size) they probably have different lunchtime clubs and play areas. Every day they would ask my son what he wanted to do at lunch - he would say main playground, computers, football etc and the other child was told they were not allowed to do these things that day. Ds also had a little lunch club going where he and some of his friends would have a little room to themselves ( about 8 of them). He was year 6 though so didn't really need much supervision.

Just keep on top of it and record everything.