Unwelcoming reception teacher

[PuzzledBear]

DD2 has just started in reception. She has a (male) teacher who has as far as I am aware only taught in the juniors before, where he had a reputation for being rather strict. He is a good teacher but not an obvious choice for a reception class.

My DD is feeling a bit tense about the new class, but she is coping ok. Not all of them are, some are quite weepy and needy. I'm feeling a bit frustrated because I think that if the teacher just made a few small changes to his behaviour it would really smooth things for the children.

When they arrive in the classroom in the morning, he doesn't smile at them and tends to only greet them if the parent greets him first. When my DD brought something in to show the class and we brought it to him before register, he glanced up without a smile and said 'oh, ok, put it on my table'. He just doesn't give the impression of being pleased to see them or glad that they are sharing things from their weekends with him. I feel that if he could just smile and say something like, 'thanks for bringing that in, we'll look at it later,' it would make such a big difference to the children.

He's quite reserved in general - he avoids making eye contact when I collect my daughter, even though he's standing at the classroom door letting them out one by one.

It's so frustrating - I am sure the children would be feeling much more confident and relaxed if they were being welcomed in a warm manner. There's nothing I can say though really, is there?

I too think this is unfortunate. I am not sure you could bring it up though, .

Perhaps he is more welcoming when there are no parents there?

Hi Puzzled. I wouldn't like that either. He sounds perfect for a year 3/4 class, not R.

Could you go and have a discreet chat with the Head?

Does DD say anything about how he is during school hours?
Some teachers are not at their best while parents are milling about, but great with the children when the parents are gone!

Yes, I suspect he might just not feel he's 'on' at those moments like drop off and pick-up. He's probably fine the rest of the time. It's just that I think those moments are important, and one of my DD's worries about school is that she doesn't feel she really knows him yet. I told him that and he said, 'well none of them do,' which I felt was missing the point a bit.

As a Reception class teacher he should be 'on' whether the parents are there or not-it's part of the job after all.

I agree Sparkling. I don't think he gets it. He says there's no great difference between reception children and year 3 (where he was before). And I think it's that misconception that's showing now. What can I do? I imagine if I said anything he would feel defensive. And I'm worried about going to the head as I've approached the deputy with anxieties before and I suspect she thinks I'm always moaning! Also I feel it's hard to have those conversations without them feeling they have to defend their staff.

Oh no. He thinks there's no difference between children who are spending their first weeks in school and those entering their 4th year? 4 year olds and 8 year olds?

When is Parents' Evening? How will he cope with that?

What happened to last year's Reception teacher?

This sounds like a bit of a nightmare - I wouldn't be happy about it. I have a dd who has just started reception and it's taken her some time to get used to school, even though she has a lovely welcoming reception teacher and is far from being a shy child. I don't know what you could do about it though other than try to move her to another school. I find it odd that a teacher like this has been put with the reception kids.

Parents' evening isn't for a month. Actually I imagine reception parents' eve may come as a shock to him!

Luckily my DD is old in the year and a pretty independent child, but even she is a bit worried. And I feel a bit depressed. DD1 had the loveliest smiliest most caring reception teacher you could hope for. I wish DD2 was being cared for in the same way.

Oh dear. He really doesn't get it. FWIW I wouldn't every behave like this, even with older children.

What are the other staff in the room like?

I definitely wouldn't want to move school, it isn't that bad! (Thanks for putting it in perspective actually lottieandmia!)

Also I love the school, they're great. DD1 is doing really well there. And the reception teacher is good - I don't doubt him that fundamentally, it's just frustrating that he doesn't seem to get that little children need a bit more warmth (not to mention the needs of the wobbly reception parents).

He's been paired with a TA who has done both nursery and reception before. It's a well managed school. Maybe I just have to look to the TA for the warmth? She's lovely but not a big personality I think, so not making an impact at drop off from what I can see.

It may be that the TA is dealing with that side of things it's true. But I think someone should have a quiet word with him. Maybe you could have a chat with the head in a non-confrontational way. How do other parents feel about it? Is it something that a few of you could do?

Wow, I would hate this! I totally understand your concerns.

My DD1 was still three the month before she went to school and would not have coped with this at all well.

She had the most fantastic warm, friendly, smiley, inclusive reception teacher and thrived with her but I think she would really, really have struggled with this.

Her Yr 1 teacher is a bit like this, but at least DD had found her feet in the school setting before having a teacher like that.

I think it's a bit worrying that he doesn't see yr 3 as any different from reception? These children have just left nursery!

Sorry, I had nothing constructive to add there! Just wanted to say that I understand your concern and you sound like a v caring parent.

It is a really very bad situation... You should talk with headteacher.. Headteacher should change him.. Reception class teacher should be warm and friendly...

If parents do not see a smiley face, they will worry about their kids..
Since my dd is in reception class, this situation affected me
I am really very sad about you

Thanks for your nice supportive messages!

I always make sure I greet my reception children with a big smile and a personal "hello X, hello Y" as they come in.

It's for the parents benefit, as well as the children! I think it's important to present as friendly as possible with reception. Particularly at the start of the year as they are still settling in. There's time to frown and moan later. ;)

Ds2 has a very strict (and somewhat shouty) teacher in Reception. However she is also quite warm and gets down to kids levels to talk to them. My ds1 had a 'warmer' teacher, better with parents, but actually her classroom was very chaotic and she is quite a negative personality. It really damaged him, but I would never have picked that up in the first term. It very gradually became apparent to me. He's actually done better under more structured teachers with clearer boundaries. I think you probably can't have everything...and children will probably still be crying whatever the circumstances. My philosophy on schools is I need a good teacher every other year and so far that's happened!

I think you are projecting your feelings a bit. Why do you need him to be smiling and chatty with you? honestly drop off your dd and leave him to get on with it.

Thanks all. MerryMarigold, that's a really helpful perspective. The classroom is not chaotic at drop off, and perhaps it will feel like a secure environment for the children.

I probably am projecting my feelings a bit, cansu. It's hard not to. But while I would ideally like him to be smiling and chatty with me (I think it's really helpful to communicate the things little children are doing at school, so there can be a sense of home & school working together), what I'm really saying is that I'd like him to be smiling and chatty with the children.

But thank you for the grip. DD likes him, so he must be doing something right. I have reservations, but you're right. I will just leave him to get on with it and try to support in whatever ways I can.

DD has a reception teacher like that. Also used to teaching Juniors.

However, I have learned that he is just not very good with ADULTS and wants all the parents to go away with minimal conversation or eye contact.

He's FANTASTIC with the children, but only behind closed doors or if feeling unobserved iyswim.

He's still odd though. DD entered the Reception on the first day to film horror music

I'd be concerned if I thought he really believed there was no substantial difference between EYFS and KS2 so I assume he meant "don't worry, a lot of the skills are the same".