Year Two Parent's Evening, how can I express a niggle without sounding like a pfb nutter?

[AaDB]

Consultation night is coming up. We had a report at the end of last year but no meeting to discuss the contents. Although in year 1, he was given sat scores which we were very pleased with ( as much as we could understand them), the comments were a bit meh and didn't seem to match.

These event are a rushed few minutes. At school, he is well behaved and although doing well is not g&t. He worries about things at home but will not raise them at school; I worry about him being under the radar.

Last year, he found the transition from yr to a mixed y1/2 class very difficult. Things are better this year but he is upset at being moved off his regular/ table set. He thinks he has been asked to swap with a 'naughty child' and is sitting with a less able group. in not sure of the story. The DC talk about the groups they are in, but since reception, I don't know they mean as they aren't discussed. I've said that I will talk to his teacher when we meet but he should ask why he himself why he has been moved.

I don't expect him to spend his school career in the same set and understand that things change. He tends to progress in jumps. I would like to know if he is not doing so well. He doesn't have to be the best, I do expect him to try hard.

How can I raise concerns about not maintaining progress without sounding like a mumzilla intent on keeping her lo on the top table?

Thanks in advance.

You might mention to his teacher that he is not really sure why he is at a different table and would she be able to reassure him that he is not on the "naughty table" or whatever - children are grouped mostly at this age according to personality as well as ability and they will most likely be moved again later in the year. The explanation might well be as simple as the teacher wanting to get different children together or is trying to stimulate, motivate or create friendships with new children. You won't know until you ask (which won't make you a pfb hysteric) and the teacher may just not have realised that your DS is finding the change unsettling.

cm you live up to your name. Ds is so sensible and well behaved that I am sure his teacher has no idea he is so upset. He doesn't think he is on a a naughty table. Another child was being naughty and my ds was asked to swap tables. The school mix the classes up every year and he was moved away from people he was in class with last year.

I very like your suggestion that I ask her to reassure him.

I have assumed that because the DC have been placed in sets according to tables that this is the case this year. I think it probably is but I don't know and ds has no idea either.

There are usually 5 tables/sets. Knowing which set ds is on, gives me an idea of his progress. If he slips down a set, I'd like to know why. As it isn't talked about, I feel like a competitive weirdo for asking. Is it strange to want to know ?

That should be I very much like your suggestion.

I also feel like I need to make this 5 minutes count. Ds goes to before and after school club and I don't come into contact with his teacher/school.

ok well write a few basic notes - bullet points for yourself so that you remember to say what you want to.

I like the wording of reassuring him about where he has been placed. he shouldn't be/unlikely to be the same set for everything so are these tables for 'other work' and then he sits with different people for english and maths? the teacher quite probably needed to separate 2 naughty children and that is why there was the move, nothing to do with actual working ability.

It is worth letting the teacher know that whilst he is quiet and well behaved he is actually sensitive and worries about things. Teachers like to have an idea of the different characters of the children they teach but it is hard for them to know with quiet ones I think.

I think we are both unclear about the situation. Until now the tables have been based on ability so he feels like he has been moved down a level (or two). I think the teacher has probably separated two chatterboxes. Ds is able but does not push himself. If the work isn't differentiated, he'll do that and no more. I sound ridiculous to myself. It's Year 2 Ffs.

5 mins isn't a lot of time to go through things and get a clear picture. If it isn't you could ask if you could come in and see the teacher. Would that be possible?

If it is of any help, my DD has just started y2 and at last week's parents information evening (when they discuss what the children will be doing during the year), the teachers advised that they don't plan to have ability tables for literacy this year and no plans yet for maths, although they'll see how it goes. In y1, the children were definitely in ability groups for both maths and literacy so it could just be that your DC's school is doing the same and not grouping by ability in y2.

Use the 5 minutes to book a proper meeting, if you have genuine concerns. Don't feel that it is your only opportunity to meet the teacher - ring the school, make an appointment or ask her to give you a ring.

It makes me really sad when parents who have an issue to raise feel that they can't discuss it properly because of time. Rest assured, we talk to parents every day, about all kinds of things, and I for one really appreciate it when a 'non school gate' mum rings up and wants to chat or ask about something (espoecially since almost by definition, all teaching parents are non-school gate parents themselves!)

Thanks all.

Communication isn't the best or at least what I like. Homework is set but not marked/ fed back. Reading books are changed, Education City is used for a lot homework; feedback on annual reports states if it had been done or not. This week he had RML homework to write a weekly journal based on a character. This was handed in when due and ds hadn't seen it since (or so he says). Homework b isn't marked as such. He has never had spellings, sums etc.

We had a class newsletter that briefly mentioned what they would be doing this year - no mention of SATs. I'm not sure it's a massive concern, more like 5 minutes twice a year doesn't feel like enough discussion time (pfb?). I always have one of the last appointments because of my commute. They always run late.

I suppose I find some of the jargon difficult. It's OK to say that ds dislikes writing and does the bare minimum. I'm a big girl and understand he isn't perfect. Give me practical ideas or homework that will help. I'd rather h is homework included things he needs to improve that than what he finds easier.

I find it all of a mystery. I didn't learn to read/ spell using phonics, have mixed year groups/ do SATs.