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Original poster

Dd bullied at Brownies on first day..

17 replies

Orangeanddemons · 18/09/2013 17:27

I know it's not education, and perhaps not strictly bullying either, but didn't know where to put itSad.

She was so excited about gong. Went in skipping, came out crying. One of the helpers told dh who picked her up that she'd been crying and upset.

It transpires she was placed in a group with a girl who lives nearby, who is about 2 years older than dd. they aren't particularly friendly, well at least the girl isn't interested, dd would be. Anyway, this girl kept saying to Dd to go away, and she wasn't allowed in the group. It must have gone on quite a bit because dd was very very upset, and is scared to go back, as she doesn't want to be with this girl.

Do I speak to Brown Owl? I thought Brownies were meant to be kind to each other...

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeanddemons · 18/09/2013 17:28

She went to bed sobbing her heart out Sad

OP posts:
ishchel · 18/09/2013 17:30

You could put it in writing to Brown Owl but you may feel better speaking about it in the first instance. They have the same duty of care as teaching staff and teaching assistants do to prevent bullying in organisations such as this. And yes it is bullying.

Beehatch · 18/09/2013 17:34

Yes do speak to Brown Owl. This has to be nipped in the bud, your poor daughter has just as much right to enjoy Brownies as the other girls.

If it happened in our Beaver Colony (I'm assistant leader) then we would have a 15 minute session reviewing our code of conduct with emphasis on friendship and helping new joiners. If there were any further incidents then we would speak to individual children and their parents.

LoganMummy · 18/09/2013 17:36

This happened to me at that age, except it was left so long (I was too embarrassed to even tell my Mum) until one night it was just too much and I refused to go back.
Please speak to Brown Owl and get this sorted ASAP.

christine44 · 18/09/2013 17:43

Similar thing happened to my daughter. I spoke to Brown owl and she was fantastic, said she'd been bullied as a child too so she really understood our situation. They are usually aware of the the more tricky kids and so sure she will keep a close eye. Don't let her stop gojng as it will bring her so much fun in the next few years

honeybunny14 · 18/09/2013 17:51

Yes you should speak to brown owl that a shame on her first time there aswell

RiversideMum · 18/09/2013 17:53

I'm sorry, but bullying is a very strong word, and I don't think you can call what happened as bullying after one session of Brownies. For sure the girl was horrible to your DD and the behaviour was unacceptable. Next time you drop her off, have a word with one of the adults and get commitment that it will be dealt with. I'm a bit surprised that they did not keep a more careful eye on the newbies.

JustBecauseICan · 18/09/2013 17:54

Yes you should, and insist that something is done, that at least the girl's parents are informed.

I loved Brownies, but left Guides after a month because the bitch girl from the chip shop bullied me relentlessly.

Hope your dd feels better and forgets about it. Smile

JemimaMuddledUp · 18/09/2013 17:56

Definitely speak to the Brown Owl. The whole point of the groups is that the children work together and that the big ones help the little ones. So this behaviour is certainly no on.

lottieandmia · 18/09/2013 17:59

Of course it was bullying riverside - leaving someone out and telling them they cannot be part of the group is exactly that, whether it happens once or more times.

badguider · 18/09/2013 18:00

Speak to an adult at the pack.
It's important in brownies that the girls get a chance to work together in self-governing groups so its hard for the leaders to always see bad behaviour like this, particularly if the perpetrator is sneaky about it. They need you and your dd to tell them and then they can deal with it.

(I once had a mean guide who was nice as pie when adults were around. I was devestated when I heard how mean she was behind our backs and wish the other girls had told us right away).

dixiechick1975 · 18/09/2013 18:10

Speak to the leader next week.

DD's pack has a buddy system where an older one looks after their buddy for a few weeks until they settle in.

trinitybleu · 18/09/2013 18:12

I'm a Unit Leader - def come and speak to us! We'll nip it in the bud. It's not acceptable behaviour.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 18/09/2013 18:12

What badguider says. (I'm a Brown Owl).

Periwinkle007 · 18/09/2013 18:42

my daughter had some problems at rainbows when she took in a poem she had written for show and tell/newstime and read it out and the others laughed at her. she completely lost her confidence having been so proud beforehand. It was started by one girl and then the others (who probably didn't know much about poetry to be fair - the poem was actually very good) just copied. I just mentioned it to the leader and she kept an eye on them but thanked me for letting her know and the problem never happened again and the girl was very nice to my daughter since.

They can't know unless someone tells them - they quite possibly thought she was crying because she missed you or was shy or something. you must mention it to them.

DeWe · 18/09/2013 20:25

Speak to the Brownie leader. Email her or speak to her straight away.

A similar thing happened in dd2's pack. Little girl came out and burst into tears, wouldn't say what had happened. Just me, dd2 and her dad were left. She just said that she wasn't going back.
I sat dd2 down and asked her what happened, and we worked out from things she'd overheard and seen roughly what happened and who. I emailed the Brownie leader and told her what (from dd2's side) had happened. Leader thanked me for letting me know, and I don't know what she did, but it hasn't (2 years later) happened since. Little girl is very happy and is now one of the older ones.

RueDeWakening · 19/09/2013 21:54

Have you been given a "starting Brownies" form? Unit leader (Brown Owl) contact details should be on there, give her a ring or email her before the next meeting.

I'm a Unit Leader too and would want to know in advance so I could have an eye out as soon as the doors opened for the next meeting. And I'd be spending a bit of time on the promise and what it means ("I promise to be kind and helpful" is one bit of ours...).

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