DS wont let anyone else take him to school - any advice?

[Letsgetreal]

Struggling a but here.

DS started school last Monday and hes young (late August birthday). We have someone great who takes him to school and picks him up. This week he started insisting that only I could take him to school and getting really upset if I didnt.

Its a bit of an issue as I cant do that and be in work on time, but its really upsetting for both of us.

Oddly enough he never had any problems with this when he went to nursery, and has no issues when at school or about who brings him home.

Has anyone else had this problem? I'm sure he'll get over it but any advice to make things easier now would be gratefully received.

I wonder whether the teacher made some 'throwaway' comment about 'Your mums can have a quick word with me when they drop you off about xyz' and so he's got it in his head it needs to be you.

Put your foot down.

Explain that it's just not possible for you to take him to school, and that you being in work makes it possible for him to have all the nice toys, holidays, parties etc that he has.

Tell him that you will be available for every parents' evening, open evening, nativity play etc, but that you cannot drop him off each morning.

I compensated for not being able to involve myself in school stuff when my DDs were small by helping out at Rainbows and Brownies (and eventually became a Brownie Leader). Could you do something like that instead, as a consolation?

I think I agree with the PP who said you just have to put your foot down. Explain really gently why you can't do it every day and then you may just have to try and ride out the tears and upset until he gets used to someone else taking him. It's probably a bit of a wobble as he gets used to the new school and will be fine soon.

My working patterns mean I'm often out of the house before DD even wakes up and home just before bedtime, and that's unlikely to change unless I make a radical career change. There's no way I could stay late enough to drop her off even if I was desperate to take her. I think I may be taking my own advice one day...

We had some issues, not with dropping off, but with getting up on time and out of the house when DD went to her CM each morning.

It ended with me changing my work hours and I now drop DD off apart from 3-4 days a months.

I know not everyone can do this but I found it made a huge difference to our life and DD's enjoyment.

I would be careful telling a child you will be there for everything the school offers to the parents. When you work there will be times you can drop everything in the middle of a day and attend a school event. Be honest. We try our bests but in some cases it will be DH or me. There were even times when none of us could be there due to last minute schedule changes. In these cases I normally ask a friend to look out for my DD.

It's just the change, big changes. Need to talk about how change is hard but good to learn to deal with. Need to give him extra attention when you can and explain that you are still there for him at the important moments. Can his chaperone deal with any school issues that might come up? Does he feel that person will look out for him, does your DS confide in him? Maybe he needs to build his relationship up with them, too?

Can you give him something (a piece of paper with a heart or a kiss on it, or some other token) that he can keep in his pocket to "remind him" that even though you have to go to work, you stuill love him and are thinking about him?

I'd second Galena's comment. My DD is now Y2 and in the last two years her teachers have, on a very few occasions, inadvertently referred to "your mum" picking you up. I'm only able to pick my DD up three days per week and sometimes she has used this to say that everyone else's mum picks them up ALL the time and pushed the " why can't you collect me?".
I think you just have to stay strong (and I do appreciate how hard that is) and simply be clear that these are the arrangements and your DS needs to start getting used to them.

Thanks all for the advice - we seem to be improving.

No issues at school (he loves it!) and I take him/pick him up one day a week anyway should anything need to be discussed with the teacher so hopefully all will be well in time.

So glad to hear things are improving.