Moving schools in Y1- reassure me it will be ok??

[cherrytomato40]

We are moving house in 6 weeks to a completely new city for DH's job. Mostly I am ok with it, it is a lovely place, lovely countryside nearby, much closer to our families, we can get a much better house for our money (currently live in London). But... I really feel for DD1 who has just started Y1. She is at a fantastic school that she loves, and has a lovely group of friends, especially 4 girls who she had been all the way through preschool and reception with. She started telling me today that her friends don't want her to move

How can I make things easier for her? We still haven't found out which new school she will be going to (sent off in year application last week) and it's unlikely she'll even get to visit it before her first day as we are moving quite far.

She is being brave but I think she will find this really hard and I feel awful for her.

We did this in May half-term; we moved 2 hours away to be closer to family and to buy a bigger house in a lovely area. I was very worried about DS1 who was in year 1 at the time as he had friends at school who he had known since he was a baby.

We sold it on living closer to relatives and the lovely new house but he wasn't convinced until we got he.re. We visited the school beforehand; he said it was 'smelly' ! We showed him round the new house. He said he preferred the old one.

I was shocked how well he has settled. He would still say he preferred his old school but he has made lots of friends and loves the new house and being in the countryside and closer to family.

Our move was always on the cards but we didn't want to leave it any later as it must get harder the older the child. He was more adaptable than I expected even now. Good luck!

Our daughter has started a new school for Y1 in a new town. Absolutely no problems settling in and one week on she's loving it. Like you i was really worried but it was easier than I could ever of imagined. Think it helped that we took time to explain the positive aspects of moving (nearer family etc) and set up familiar activities to start when we arrived like swimming lessons and ballet.

We did this late last year - DD was very sad to leave her best friend (and her best friend even more so.. I think she took it far worse than DD!) DD is also a child who likes a structure in her life and is not a big fan of change. Her old school was also outstanding.. and her new one, well, less so although it had a new headteacher to improve things.

She surprised us all by settling so quickly into her new school, which she had not had the chance to look around. After her first few days her teacher said it was like she'd always been there.

To compound poor DD's life, we moved her again six months later when the school on our doorstep finally had a place (the other one was a mile up a hill and a few busy roads away - I have two younger DC and I was going quietly mad)

Again, she settled really quickly, made new friends and is really happy. Despite her new school having a high turnover in Y1 teachers due to one leaving and the replacements/supply teachers not hanging around for long. Finally now, in Y2, she has a permanent teacher and I hope the rest of her primary school life will be settled. Not that she seems to care!

She still talks about her old friend occasionally, but she doesn't seem to miss her if you see what I mean. She has written the odd letter to her old class but they have not written back, nor would I expect them to really!!

It's amazing just how resilient children can be. I would not have expected her to cope so well given her personality, but it's been like water off a ducks back. She coped better with the move than I did I think - I was beyond stressed dealing with school entries as DD2 needed to apply for a reception place as well and we had no idea where DD1 would be come September. It all worked out in the end though and they are both happy at the local school.

Obviously all children are different but so long as they have the stability of the family unit and their things around them at their new home so they feel safe, I think that gives most of them the strength to deal with change.

Good luck with the move and getting a good school!

We moved my daughter towards the end of year 1.

To distract her from the move, we let her have a little goodbye party with her friends and she / they seemed to focus on that rather than the actual move until quite late on.

Then, we moved and DD started at the new school. Immediately, we had lots of the local children round for play dates, so my DD could get to make new friends.

Although we didn't move far, we did move towns and so we had her old friends over for a sleepover. The thought that she would still see her old friends helped. Her old school teacher was amazing. She asked for DD to write and let them know how she was getting on, which she did and then her class all wrote and sent her letters back. She continued writing to her old class for the rest of the year.

However, we moved in Easter and by May she was all settled into the new class and school. She had friends and really liked it. She now says she wouldn't move back.

Thanks all, that has reassured me a little! I think she would like the idea of a goodbye party, and we have already talked about how they can write letters and postcards to each other. Good idea about setting up familiar swimming lessons etc, she has also been wanting to join Rainbows for a while, so I will see if there is a local group in our new area.

At my DD's school there have been several children starting in either Reception or Yr1 and within a couple of weeks have happily been absorbed and included and made friends.
If your DD can keep in touch with her old friends for a while after you move that will probably help.