Bright 5 year old bored in school - advice please

[anothermonday]

My (just) 5 year old DS started school about 3 weeks ago, and has complained continually for the last week or two that it is really boring.

We have, again, moved country and school system, and he is in an international school, in kindergarten. Although he is almost the youngest in the year, it seems very unacademic compared to the UK system, and he is a very academic child.

He hasn't done any formal schooling before (although lots of fairly academic preschool) because we've moved around and have never been in a country where he is school age (although if we were in England he would be in yr1 now). He does (at his own instigation) so much at home in terms of numbers and reading that I had thought that it wouldn't matter if the school didn't do much, and if the experience was more of a social one for him (he is quite shy, slow to make friends, and could definitely do with improving his confidence and emotional intelligence). But he's really not enjoying school at all, and is crying every morning and asking not to go because it's so dull (although they do lots of extra-curricular type activities within the school day, which he does enjoy).

To give you some examples, he can read fairly fluently (will read short books on his own, and reads chapter books with me each night), but school are using Letterland and so far have 'learned' the first 10 letters of the alphabet. I feel that he is far beyond phonics-based learning (he never really learned to read this way, he just sort if worked it out), and although he seems mildly amused by it, Letterland is teaching him nothing.

His maths really is phenomenally good - he knows all of his tables, can do complex sums (addition, subtraction, multiplication), there is no limit on what he can count to / the size of numbers he can work with. However he tells me that the teacher has told him that he is not allowed to work with numbers over 100 in school, and that so far in maths they have been 'learning to count' to 50. He could do this before he was 2.

I'm not sure where to go with this. We live a bit off the beaten track and so there is no real choice of schooling in English. Socially I don't think he would cope if moved up a grade. I wanted to give the school time to bed in and find each child's level, but there doesn't seem to be any real move on their part yet to stretch him (even though school made all of the right noises initially) and he is getting upset. I don't know whether to just persuade him to tow the line at school, and do a more formal maths and reading programme with him at home (I don't mean to be pushy with him, but he is asking for this). But partly I think that the school should be able to accommodate him (it is, if relevant, a really expensive school - which luckily we are not paying the fees for (!) - with class sizes of 15 and a teacher and TA per class).

On a personal level I couldn't care less how much he learns in kindergarten - I'm fairly confident that he will do fine in the long run academically wherever he is and I am far more interested in him learning softer skills. But he himself is complaining about the curriculum being boring and I don't want him to be put off school for life, or to start being disruptive. Any suggestions as to how to address this would be welcome.

That sounds very frustrating - for him and for you. If it's a fee-paying school presumably they wouldn't have any issue with putting him up a year? Since you say you feel he would struggle socially if he actually went up a year, could you ask if he could do some lessons with the class above? A friend of mine has a son who is gifted and in Y1 he used to go and do maths with Y4 whenever it was 'numeracy' time. So maybe when it's time for Letterland and basic numbers, he could go and do more challenging things with a higher class, but when it's time for painting, creating, playing etc he stays with his age-appropriate class. Would that sort of arrangement be possible? Over time some of his peers may well catch up and then it will not be such an issue, but it seems to be quite common that very able children struggle with the nature of kindergarten/reception and then blossom when the more serious learning starts.

Some children use the word boring when they mean other things. e.g. I would rather play than sit on the carpet.

Some children just focus on a tiny part of the day and use that to describe the whole day, even though the rest of the day was very different.

Some children pick up on their parents concerns and effectively repeat them back.

Most young children benefit from formally going through phonics even if they can read. (It helps with spelling which you don't mention. Also many approaches do reading and writing and spelling all combined).

Many children can count young, but they don't necessarily know what numbers mean.

All the above may be irrelevant for your child, but every year at about this time mumsnet gets the 'my year R child is bored' threads.

If the above don't apply then go and talk to the school.

Thanks for your replies. Doing some academic things with another year group may be an option (I tank he would like this), although they have so much extra curricular stuff that I'm not sure that this would be easy to timetable - I can but ask.

Teen I take your point and I hesitated to post for this reason as I knew that I was risking a flaming, but he really is very bright and fully understands what he is reading, and the maths he is doing. He is not just, e.g., very good at rote counting, but seems (to me, and to teacher friends of mine) to have a really advanced grasp of how things all hang together - things like converting fractions to percentages are completely obvious to him, and he will comfortably work with negative numbers etc. He writes long and imaginative stories - although his spelling can be a bit creative still. There is no chance that he would rather sit and play on the carpet! I do think that he is disappointed at how unacademic the school day is, as he was genuinely looking forward to formal learning. That said, I know that he's not bored all day every day - he loves the swimming and tennis and music and art that they do (although none of these are his forte), but in the morning being bored is what he seems to remember. He's not my only DC and although the others seem fairly bright to me, I've never felt that they weren't challenged adequately within their year group at school - they have always been good at some things, less good at others, and have started each year with plenty to learn. I'm not sure if the school system we are working with is the main factor here - they really do seem to view formal learning as something that starts next year, at 6+.

I totally appreciate how you are feeling!

My eldest DD is now in P7 and since P1 she has always been far advanced in maths. We are in Scotland and she goes to a state primary. She has just always loved numbers and asked for sums to do or problems to work out. I thought the school would be delighted, but not so. They don't have the staff or resources to do any additional work with her.

We considered home schooling but think the social aspect of school is very important. So basically, we give her maths (and English too) work at home that stretches her ability and she follows the school curriculum. She also is sometimes bored and tends to chat and distract others but over the years in school has learned to behave and fit in. There are many aspects of school she does enjoy and these outweigh the negatives.

She recently sat the maths exam that pupils sit in 5th year at high school (age 17) and passed with an A. She was delighted and we are very proud of her. The school has yet to acknowledge this achievement which is very sad.

She starts high school next year which will hopefully allow her to learn and celebrate her achievements.

Good luck with your schooling ~ I hope your experience of the education system is better than mine

I think formal learning does really start in Y1, in many ways, but thats not to say extension work couldn't be found for a Reception child if appropriate...I would have a quiet word with the teacher, and ask for help.

That said, I'm told I wept when I started nursery and discovered it was for playing and not 'learning sums and reading'. I'd expected to catch up with my big sister, and was so disappointed! I would imagine this is quite normal for a lot of younger siblings?

(my parents' solution: they taught me to read/spell etc at home till the school system caught up with me )

Thanks again for the replies. Elibean, he would be in YR1 now if we were in the UK (and I think would be coping fine academically and probably still v advanced in maths), so formal learning under this system starts (in a very gentle way) at about the equivalent if YR2 - the school year they start when they are 6 (turning 7 at any point after the first day of school). It seems quite late to me? TBH his maths is already far, far better than his 8 year old sister's (and she is considered to be good at maths / has always been in the top sets).

Akray, she sounds just like DS! He will, if there is nobody to give him sums, sit there and make up his own worksheet, or hundred square, or set some other mathematical challenge, he just has an insatiable appetite for it. Let him loose with a calculator and the possibilities are endless . I am so sorry that you have not had a positive experience, although well done to your DD for getting an A at higher maths, that is amazing! I think, although I will speak to the school, that we will probably also go down the route of giving him things to do at home. A friend has recommended Mathletics so we will try that (any other recommendations would be gratefully received). Your post has reassured me that it would not all be plain sailing if we were in the UK - I had been blaming our issues on living abroad, so thank you for the reality check.

Rather than mathletics, why don't you introduce a musical instrument, or gym classes, or drama? Something that will still be challenging, but won't make the current situation (being far ahead iof his peers) worse. Something like drama could also improve his confidence and social skills, both of which you say need improving. Now would be a really good time to focus ont those.

ilovemountains, these are really good suggestions, but there isn't really anything like this available where we are (think obscure, non-English speaking city where the local children just don't do this sort of thing), unfortunately. Other than through school - and there is a lot built into their day - but they can't join the after school clubs until grade 2 (2 years away for DS). I wonder though if there is anything I can do online with him that would be a bit different, or which I could teach him .

How about local language lessons then, and then you can practice out the skills locally? Or chess, and he can play against other children online? Or star gazing?

We have the language covered already (lots of lessons in school plus the household staff speak to the children in the local language so they've picked it up quite well), but chess and stargazing are great suggestions which I think would be right up his street. We could learn them together, it's probably 15 years since I last attempted to play chess! Thank you.

I'd also try cribbage, rummikub and adult board games like monopoly with him, if you are into games yourself!

He needs to make friends. If he had a great social life he wouldn't mind easy academics.

Where do you live?

Why not put him in a good local school? If nothing else, being schooled in a foreign language will be a proper challenge for him.

I have considered local (independent) schools but I don't really think it would be fair to him. I don't want to say where we live as it would completely out me, not a Brit for miles around! The local language is not a major world language, based on a different alphabet, lots of regional dialects etc. Although I want him to learn it (and he is learning it), I think sending him to school to be educated entirely in it would be too much. And their way of educating here is very very different - there certainly would be no concerns about too much play time! But although academically able at the end of the day he is a quiet 5 year old and I think doing this might scar him for life. Socially his best chance has got to be at the international school where lessons are in English and at least some (maybe 20%) of the children have English as a mother tongue.

I agree with ilovemountains. Surely it doesn't make sense to do more of the thing you think he is already ahead in? My DD, now in Y2 in England, is also comfortable doing work beyond her year group so I have focused on extending her sideways. She loves loads of extra curric activities such as tennis, gymnastics and football, and has started percussion and recorder. She also loved the idea of ice skating so I found some group lessons and this was a real lesson for her since she really wasn't very good! She learnt a massive amount about resilience, and the importance of effort and concentration, in the 12ice skating lessons that she did and had a real sense of pride when she could skate by herself. So I suggest trying to find some activities that your DC is keen on but which they may not naturally excel at.

So he's very clever but you'd rather he wasn't challenged by learning a new alphabet and the local language? Okaaaaaaaaaayyyy...

Big letter in newspapers today, signed by all sorts of eminent education professors, on how mostly learning thru play is best for child development neuro-cognitively & socially. At least until y2 (age 6+). I'm all for it.

Lljkk - have you read the posts? He is already learning the local language, just not being educated exclusively in it.

OP unfortunately not all international schools are excellent.
I would add to your list of things to do with him: take an interest in wildlife, do some kitchen science (the institute of Physics has some really good ideas on their website, some of which can easily be done with a 5 year old), do you have a kindle? Lots of English books would be good, I read a lot to avoid boredom as a child.
Treat school as somewhere to learn social skills. I would also keep an eye on him, as advanced intelligence can often be a sign of something other than just being a genius.