Help! DD not coping well with Year 1.....

[BaconAndAvocado]

Had 2days of major tears (hers and mine) at school gates.

She is an August birthday and has already said she finds the work in Year 1 harder than Reception.

Spoke to her class teacher yesterday, who was very understanding.

I just feel so helpless and worried for her. I hope it doesn't last much longer.

She bounds out of the school gates full of smiles, it's just the going to school.

Any ideas?

Tia.

It is still very early in the year and she may need more time to adjust to a new classroom. I am glad to hear that the teacher is understanding. At the school gates, make sure that you are cheerful and confident (at least on the outside). Your child needs to know that you think she is capable of making a good adjustment. You can cry on the way home but please not in front of dd. Keep up the communication with the teacher and fingers crossed this rough patch will soon be over. Good luck to you both and have a great school year.

Hi BaconandAvacados:

I think the tears are real - whether it's pining for the relaxed, security of her old Year R situation or truly finding work in Year 1 too challenging is always difficult to work out with a child this small.

What I found (DD2 had a similar problem) was two things:

1. be supportive/ positive about the coming opportunities of Year 1 (learning how to read/ how to write proper sentences/ how to add/ subtract etc....) and show some excitement about opportunities of being in that class.

2. DD2 adored her Year R teacher and really didn't gel with her Year 1 teachers (job-share). However, after 3 weeks of tearful mornings I suggested that the new teachers would think she didn't like them if they saw her crying every morning and that perhaps she should try and be brave (even if she is upset) and at least come in calmly if she can't be all smiley. This took a few days to sink in - but the tears did stop.

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What I will say is that if the response carries on beyond what you deem an acceptable period of adjustment (let's say one month) - there clearly is a problem. I overlooked that DD1 was upset and thought she was a 'baby' for not wanting to go to school. Now that she's older a lot has come out about how truly awful her teacher was to her during Year 1.

Thanks all.

pastsellbydate you've made some brilliant points, thank you

Tbh I'm dreading tomorrow morning. wish us luck!

As a short-term boost, my DD (exactly the same age) sometimes has a little 'fairy dust' (aka glitter, preferably from an unusual pouch or envelope) sprinkled over her when she is worried/scared about something. It has amazing 'braveness' properties. Also, we practice using her imagination- I get her to imagine the scary thing is in front of her and act like a brave person. So when she's calm and happy, get her to picture the classroom door and walk straight up to and through it.

Longer term, can she tell you which work is difficult- maths, writing? I would have a quick chat with the teacher tomorrow after school.

pozzled that's a lovely idea.

Just about to,do,school run and she seems v upbeat !

This morning went brilliantly!

Lots of smiles, no protesting and she got a huge cupcake sticker from the class teacher.

Long may it last