Mmmm, interesting points. Thanks again to everyone who has commented. Maybe I won't take anything in... I just want to do the best for DS.
In (a completely separate, surestart) nursery I did just leave them to 'get on with it', but they had an artist in residence that DS adored and worked closely with, so I was confident he was learning a lot from her and he had to get used to being away from me, having school dinners etc. But, every time there were targets on the wall they were things like 'learn to count up to 3 objects' and there seemed to be no thought to what children would do who could do more than that. I'm worried reception will be more of the same.
Even at the end of the year I didn't feel the staff knew a 3rd of what he could do. In his book they'd quoted DS as saying 'I've got 1 engine and 4 carriages' - the comment was 'well done DS you are beginning to learn how to classify!' - I thought 'noooo, he's been able to classify by shape/colour/size for a couple of years now'.
My DH learnt early on that school was somewhere that did 'easy' work and you could laze at and I don't want my DS to be the same.
Periwinkle 'it was important she didn't think she was better than they were because she already knew something'
But would she not feel that she knew more if she was confidently saying the answer while others were umming and ahhing round her. I honestly don't know the answer to that, but its my concern.
Venus I definitely don't sit doing any worksheets/Kumon with DS. He's bright (and has had an extra year at home) and he's learned/we've taught him things as it seemed appropriate. Most stuff we've learned through play, cooking, counting steps/coins/skips/jumps/games etc - I've not been sitting with flashcards and beating him til he learned stuff!
DS is definitely not lacking in imagination - he's currently sitting next to me hosting a picnic he's set up for 'Bruce Wayne the ladybird' and 'Nicky the supermouse' - using buttons to be sandwiches and jelly. Oh now he's using the buttons to create a maze for them to play in... He's a well rounded, happy and confident little boy and whilst I'm sure he'll learn masses in reception I wanted advice about what to expect in a key area - in a school that I don't feel confident in (perhaps I'll feel more confident after our meeting today?).
Tiggytape Fab, I hope more than anything that there will be children at the same/higher level than DS - as I say, I want him to be challenged. At home I childmind toddlers at the moment and DS is used to being the one knowing more/ teaching others etc. It would be great if he had other kids to learn from himself.
To whoever asked, how I thought I was qualified to make assessments - well, I was a reception teacher prior to having DS, so I know how hard a job it can be to get to know and accurately assess/differentiate for 30 little people. So whilst obviously not objective about DS, I am as 'qualified' as any other teacher to say how he's doing.
I'm also 39 weeks pregnant, so perhaps worrying more than I would be otherwise...