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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Tips for leaving comfort item at home. 3yo starting school nursery

14 replies

ThisIsMummyPig · 30/08/2013 00:37

Any advice please. I have been told that my 3yo can not take her beloved teddy to the school nursery with her. Playgroup allowed her to take it, and then put it straight into the going home box. School have said it must not darken the door.

It's too big to go in her pocket (but would go in the book bag)

She will be doing 2 full days and three mornings, but she is very, very attached to her ted, and will want it when she is stressed. However, I want to draw a line in the sand now and say that it can't go to school because Miss L says so.

I know I have left it late, but I have worked on it for months without much progress.

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noramum · 30/08/2013 06:42

How about taking it with you and then he has to go home. He needs extra naps now as he needed to work so hard looking after her.

Maybe get him a shoebox bed where you put him when you come back and he will be then in it until she returns.

JimbosJetSet · 30/08/2013 06:47

Teddy always comes in the car with us to nursery, then when DD gets out of the car to go in, we strap teddy into her car seat. (I then drive around all day with a teddy in the car seat) and he is there waiting for her when I collect her at the end of the day. Would that help a bit?

KingscoteStaff · 30/08/2013 07:55

My DS's Panda wore a jumper. In the morning, Panda would lend his jumper to DS, who attached it to backpack (straps through the arm holes). That meant he could have a quick sniff/rub whenever he used his peg - breaktimes + lunchtimes.

FriskyHenderson · 30/08/2013 08:27

DS was allowed to bring his into the classroom for the first half term (toy sat at the back of the class). Then I managed to buy a smaller version that fitted into his bag, which stayed there until half way through Yr2. Now if he needs to, the cuddly comes with us and stays in the car. They have a very fond farewell, cuddly is posed and strapped into DS' car seat.

Could you put a photo in the book bag? Make a photo key ring? Do you have one you could use for spares a piece of similar material you could put in her pocket so that she could rub it if anxious?

AmandapandtheNightmareMonsters · 30/08/2013 08:30

I was also going to suggest teddy coming in the car/walking with you and then waving a fond farewell.

A keyring picture of teddy is a good idea too.

PoppyWearer · 30/08/2013 08:33

Making a keyring is a good idea - or can you find a mini version on a keyring? My DC1 has had a cuddly toy key ring on her school book bag (she is going into Year 1 now) and that worked for us. We couldn't find an exact one, but I let her choose it.

She was a toy-taker at nursery (luckily they allowed it) until she left a year ago.

Periwinkle007 · 30/08/2013 10:16

no real tips as my 2 were banned from taking toys out with them from when they started walking (I am a very cruel parent) but at their preschool the sign said no toys but then kids still took them. Those children had terrible problems when they then started school and there were some in reception who took toys in every day even though they weren't supposed to and the teachers had problems weaning them off them and others started to tease them about it etc. You are definitely right to make the break now. It is hard for kids, I can see why they want to have them with them, I always liked to have one in the car picking me up from school until I was 7 or 8 I think if I remember right and would have much preferred to have one sit on my desk all day but the earlier you can make them get used to it the better.

Good luck - I expect she will pine for a day or so but then will be so busy with her new friends and activities that she won't worry about it. This way she can tell her ted all about her day when she sees him which is a very grown up thing for a little girl and ted to do.

Rowgtfc72 · 31/08/2013 09:05

Ted used to wave goodbye in the playground. If you dont want a meltdown on pick up for gods sake remember to pick ted up on the way out the door!

domesticslattern · 31/08/2013 09:12

I just popped him in the book bag so DD1 knew teddy was there on the peg even if she wasn't allowed to get him out. After a couple of weeks it became a non issue and he stayed at home on the stairs waiting for her.
Three is very little. Poor little mite.

Idespair · 31/08/2013 09:13

Perhaps teddy can be strapped into her carseat when she gets out of it to wait for her to come home that day?

zingally · 01/09/2013 16:06

I recommend photo keyrings to my reception kiddy parents. Then attach keyring to their bookbag or coat zip. Or a photograph in their bag.

I'm strict about "no toys" I'm afraid. Things get lost, dirty, broken otherwise.

Littlemousewithcloggson · 02/09/2013 21:13

My DD is 4 and breaking her heart about her "pet" not being allowed to go to school with her, she never wanted it at preschool but think its because its all new at big school. The teacher has suggested she put it in a drawstring bag and hang it on her peg so she knows its there.

BlackMogul · 03/09/2013 01:20

DD1s reception class had their own teddy bear in a ruck sack. He came home with every child for a week and child wrote about what he did every day with them when he came home so it formed an annual diary. Parents very competitive of course so bright kids wrote themselves and some parents wrote. This bear went to the children who wanted their own toys in school first. Mine wanted a special toy at night but not at school. They saw school as a separate world and special toys were for home. The bear from school was a great idea though and worked really well as he came with care instructions!

Original poster

ThisIsMummyPig · 04/09/2013 23:43

Thank you all - playgroup had suggested the bed idea, and we have a shoe box covered in sparkly paper with a cushion in the bottom, pillows, fleecy blanket etc. However, DD2 prefers to take it with her tuck ted up in her own bed.

I'm liking the photo keyring idea - I think I would put it in her coat pocket though as the bookbags seem a bit inaccessible during the day.

Leaving Ted in the car won't really work, as some days I drop off, then go to work, and DH or DM pick up, so Ted wouldn't get home for about three hours after DD2.

We don't get the class bear until reception. And then he is not a welcome guest in my home, but that's a whole other thread.

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