how do I handle this?

[Hopingforno2]

My ds has just started school reception/primary 1. Yesterday he said a girl had pushed him over but he couldnt tell me who she was and had dirty marks on his jumper so guessing thats where they came from. My advice was to shout loudly 'dont push me' and tell an adult(having already asked him if there was a reason for the pushing, apparently the girl thought he was standing too close told him not to do this give her plenty of space).

However this morning while waiting for bell to ring a girl standing in front with her mum said the boys were punching her but only after me saying stay away from the girl today(not knowing at that point it was possibly her) they are only 5 and my thought's are that most likely there where playing together or at worst he was standing too close she pushed him and he retaliated(he is pretty non confrontational hates arguments). I dont know I wasnt there.

That was long sorry, im looking for advice on how to handle this? My initial thought was i have already told my ds not to stand too close and to avoid the girl. He has always been told not to hit so the 'the boys punched me' thing did suprise me though was not said directly to me or my ds.should I just leave it as its most likely kid's messing around or should I say something to the teacher? I guess im a bit worried that the other mum will and the school will wonder why I didnt mention it and end up with ds looking like the only one to blame?

It's early days - all the kids are getting to know each other, and the school rules, not to mention learning to cope by themselves, and sort out their own arguments.

I wouldn't say anything for a while, but wait and see if things settle down after a few days.

I would have also said to him that if someone says you're standing too close to move away.
I wouldn't have told him to avoid the girl at that stage, it's happened once, I wouldn't go for the avoiding for on incident.

I'm not sure what relevance "the boys punched me" was to this. She didn't accuse your ds, you don't know whether it was the same girl as pushed your ds as far as I can tell from your OP.

I wouldn't tell the teacher about being pushed over for standing too close unless it's happened again in the near future. I would probably tell the teacher if my dc say "boyS were punching me". A good teacher would talk to your ds first and find out what was going on, and he will have the chance to say she pushed him if that happened first.

Thanks I wasnt initially planning on saying anything, I just found it coincidence that the girl chose to say this after I had just said to my ds to move away and play with someone else if he was pushed again(within eatshot) she didnt seem distressed more a kind of they punched me chikdrens sort of a whine and the mum looked suprised it was obviously the 1st time the girl had mentioned it and the mum asked her if she was pretending as would I have done had my ds said it in that tone tbh. She said no but then said nothing more as an older boy came to say goodbye yo her, presumably a relative as he was swinging her around while she playfighted with him.

all in all I most likely wont say anything at tge moment especially on checking she isnt in ds class (two full classes of reception/p1)

Sorry for typos on phone

He's in for a lot of pushing and shoving until they get a bit better at lining up, I expect.

I think part of the problem in these situations is the lost-in-translation element. I was on a teaching placement and one child shouted out "HE HIT ME!" (they were all sitting on the carpet, and I was talking to them as a class). I said "Who hit you?" and he replied "X punched me in the face JUST NOW!" X had been taking off his jumper (which I saw) and had accidentally elbowed this child on the cheek. That isn't the first child making things up, per se, but misunderstanding what had happened. We had to have a bit of a chat about the difference between someone intending to hurt you and punching you and someone accidentally hurting you.

I don't think you need to mention it. Hope your DS is enjoying school .