How would you like to be involved in your childs school

[Teacher0123]

Most schools work hard to engage with parents however there is always room for improvement. Many teachers moan about those parents who don't seem interested and many parents complain about not being welcome or knowing how best to help etc
So what does your childs school do? and what would be even better in the ideal world?

I think genuine respect is a good place to start.

No one should assume that it is a parent's place to 'help' the school. Primarily they are parents and the role is different to that of a teacher. They should not be expected to teach their child at home, however saying this does not mean experiences at home do not contribute to a child's learning, not at all. The home environment is extremely important but it is distinctly different from the school environment.

Teachers can no more tell parents how to parent than parents can tell teachers how to teach. When dealing with parents this must be remembered, advice can be given but that is what it is i.e. advice on both sides.

When dealing with parents teachers must remember they are not employees, a good parent is not one who helps the school and a bad parent one who doesn't, although I am not saying good parents don't help.

Now that is off my chest I will say once this is shown to be understood by all the parent / school relationship will be better. As a parent I will help out in a fix but will not in order to provide a service the school is credited with providing, for example a walking bus as part of a school's travel plan which is completely run by parents, or be expected to teach at home as part of an IEP (an IEP should detail the school's provision it is what the school's funding is for).

Anyone else got any thoughts about what would help their relationship with school and supporting your childs learning

If the school don't communicate effectively then parents get irate.

Example, genes for jeans day at our school, office send the same letter home every year. It says come to school in jeans for £1.

It doesn't say non school uniform day. So every year without fail, all the YR children without an older sibling come wearing their school shirt and tie with jeans.

Schools simply do the same thing year in year out without thought. So have a fresh pair of eyes look at every communication.

LOTS OF NOTICE. Please. Sorry to shout. Send out a calendar at the start of each term with EVERYTHING on it. All the random dressing up shit (parents hate this, btw, if you would like to stop doing quite so much of it), all the days when they need a pound for a daffodil, all the days when they need a costume, what the costume needs to consist of, all the days when they need money for a trip with LOTS OF NOTICE. Because I am sick and tired of having to waste time at a weekend on getting a red/spotty/yellow/pirate top when I could have got it weeks or months ago if only you'd told me. And lots of parents don't have five or six or eight quid to spend on a trip at a moment's notice but might have done if you'd only told them about it at the start of term. And lots of parents could come to the assembly or the concert or whatever, if only you would give them some time to fix it with work or with childcare or whatever.

As for learning, I am happy if my child is happy and learning. Our school do do a lot to support learning and have evenings every term where they explain eg phonics or new methods of maths teaching or whatever. But actually, I'm happy with the learning side of things and my child is progressing really well. I just want to know more than two days in advance if I need a green T shirt.

DS's school send us a list of the topics they are covering each term and newsletters every half term plus notes if theres something coming up, its also written on a white board put out by the office (which everyone walks past to get to the playground to collect/drop off) if theres something like own clothes day to remind us about, they also send emails to remind us and put it on the website. and any notes and homework sheets always have very clear detailed instructions so you know exactly what you are meant to do.

The teachers and teaching assistants wait outside with the children in lines for you to come collect them so they can grab you/you can grab them for a chat. The head mistress will always try to make an appointment as soon as possible if you call her (often the same day if you call before lunch)

They also have a meeting for parents 1 week into term in yr1, yr 3 and yr 5 to tell you what happens at that stage/what you can do to support your child and 4 settling in sessions with coffee in the hall for the mums in the summer before children start.

So yeah they do a lot to involve parents already, the only thing I would change is the damn PTA and their constant coffee morning invitations! If I want to have coffee with some of the other mum's, I'll ask the mums I like, not sit around eating crappy fairy cakes I've paid 50p for because the PTA lady kept giving me evils for not buying one and listening to little Billy the School Bully's mum complain about how he has no friends and Mrs Super-Pushy Mum try to play lets compare children then get snooty if anyones done anything better than little Polly Perfect (rant over)

DDs not started at her school yet so no idea what thats going to be like but so far the information they've sent has been pretty thorough.

Well, as per my rants elsewhere, any communication whatsoever would be a good start. DS starts reception in a week's time, and we have had no welcome pack, no starters' info, nothing. I'd like to know a rough idea what he'll be doing, eating, needing, etc...

I hope this is just an admin blip.

As school progresses I'd imagine I'd like to know what he's learning during the day, so I can support it at home, I guess. Hard to know just yet!

In terms of relationship with school - please remember that you may have taught hundreds of children, and you are probably very experienced and very good. However, you do not know my child better than I do.

Our school is great with communication. We get a huge calendar at the start of the year and each term another one with fine tuning and smaller events.

We also get a weekly newsletter with additional information.

The old head teacher was always there and made appointments quick and efficient. I hope her successor, the old deputy, is equally up to it.

The website gives an overview of the year's topics so we know what's going on.

They like parents to be involved but are a bit too traditional. I would love to help cooking or with the allotment but we get one day of the week each year and that's it. It is also in the middle of the day so no chance of even taking a 1/2 day off work to do it at least once.

I think if a school needs the parents to help at home then please tell us what is going on and not just - "your child could practice its maths skills". Which skills please. We only see the school workbooks twice a year, not a lot if I want to support my child at home.

If you want to see the parents at school events do them first thing in the morning or before pick-up. Make more information sessions available in the evenings, very often both parents work and if the school is in the commuter belt chances are a lot of parents are commuting 1hr one way and not work around the corner.

PTA should also realise this and not just make their little fundraising sessions at 11am. I managed for 3 years volunteering for the NCT and despite all of us having babies and young toddlers we managed child-free evening meetings, it can be done.

lots to think about here thank you

I'd like to be able to pass on my knowledge about my child to the teacher at the beginning of the year - what upsets them, what motivates them. Not some huge tome, but just my insight into the person coming into their care from the person who knows them best. I think it would save a lot of time, but there seems to be a view that parents don't really know what their children are like. (I've never tried this btw.)

I'd like some help in understanding maths - most schools expect the parents to read with the children and will give some limited information on phonics to enable this. I haven't a clue how maths is taught these days, so I don't feel I can support my children in this.

respect. just because i am a stay at home single parent does not mean I know nothing about education or my child and what they know. I have had a life and career before.

do not assume there is masses of time in the evening to do all sorts of reading/homework/spellings. some childen have therapies to do at home (ot/physio/speech) some have parents who work til an hour or two before bedtime, some are still 4 and go to bed at 6pm, some have younger siblings to see to, olderr teenagers to run around. fmily liife is busier thn you might imgine. (oh and I was guilty of this though fortunately never said anything )

do not hand out the "caring carrots." most of us are pretty resourceful and have probably tried a number of options already. STOP BEING SO BLOODY PATRONISING!

notice. even as a sahp it is not easy to organise a costume for this that or the other in a couple of days. (may have time but not the money) wohp maay not have the money o the time either.

oh and stop rabbitting on about how the children get to go on lots of trips and experiences. they are a paain in the neck and require money spent and equipment provided. make use of your school grrounds and local area for enrichment. the best school I know had a wildlife area nd pond, willow plantation, orchard, wooded area. ds's nursery grew plants and veggies. encourage teachers to do lessons outside using what is available.

FOLLOW THE SENCODE OF PRACTICE. don't ignore it and break as many rules as possible.