DS small compared to peers and it bothers him lots, any advice?

[umbrellasinthesun]

My DS turned 5 a few weeks ago and about to start year 1. He is probably smallest boy in double entry class and can't keep up with his (much bigger) friends running and it really bothers him, to the the point of major meltdowns at times.
Has anyone had the same and any advice about anything that you can say to make them feel better about it?

I have the opposite problem with both mine, they are very tall, DS1 is 11 and DS2 is 6 and just about to start Y2. For about 3 years DS1 hated being the tallest, he said he could not run as fast, no one wanted to play with him at tig and he always got them with his 'too long arms'. He was never allowed in goal because he saved all the balls etc etc. Every school photo I have of me in primary years I am slouched with round shouders so not to stand out!

I just explained that we are all different and it shojuld be embraced not 'tried to make better' Now DS1 has just left primary school and in Y3 they all started to even out, DS1 stopped growing as much, other grew more, but there are always the tallest and the shortest in the class, fact of life. You can't make him taller and I could not make my DS shorter, focus on what they are good at, look at people who are successful who are shorter (Johny Wilkinson, Wayne Rooney etc) and for me it was Peter Crouch and some cricketers who escape my memory to show that whatever height you can be brilliant!

It would be worth having a word with his teacher, so she can ensure the playtimes are kind and inclusive for all and other classmates don't exclude him. DS1's school are good at this, playground buddies, playground hekpers they know they can go to talk to about stuff.

I think the way to tackle this really depends on how little he is. Have you had his height plotted in his red book recently? Was he born small/ low birthweight? How tall are you and DP? Etc...
People come in a range of sizes, however there are a number of children on the smaller side in childhood, that have a later puberty, effectively grow longer and end up being more average in terms of height. Did you or DP have this sort of growth pattern? If very small ( less than 2nd centile) is it worthwhile having a chat with the GP?
I do think children really begin to notice how they are different to others when they start school. I would remain positive, build his confidence in other areas, point out the positive aspects of being a bit smaller and reassure him (if you are in a position to) that children grow at different rates.

I have boys age 6 and 9 with this problem. They are both between 9th and 25 th centiles. It doesnt bother ds1 as he is very sporty, however ds2 isnt....and ALL of the boys in his class are taller than average.... One 6 yr old has adult size 5 feet. Dh is 6 ft 2 but left school at 5 ft 4 and grew late... My brother was the same, so i think this may happen with my boys. Not sure if i have advice ... Does he like football at all? Ds1is always talking to ds2 about ?messi when he gets upset at being shorter. I think he is a shorter good footballer

we have one child who is extremely tall and another who is average (but wants to be tall because we have obviously overdone the 'tall is a good thing' stuff a bit too much.

I would enrol him in gymnastics classes, being small is an advantage in the sport and if he could learn something suited to his height it might really boost his confidence.

Dd aged ten and going into y6 is the smallest in the junior side of the school. It started to bother her in y4 but there's nothing much I or she can do about it.I tell her only good things come in small packages and better to be a diamond than a lump of coal but not sure it makes any difference.

Thank you all.
Abby - he is about 25th centile, but born end of july so that doesn't help matters as they can grow loads in 6 months and almost all of the kids are older than him, (some only a bit, some loads).
I don't think that he will end up a big boy, just seems petite in frame and hand size etc. But lots of bigger friends and 3 year old brother not much smaller. DP and me both average size.
DS loves sport, esp football but not v good at it unfortunately, otherwise that would sort it!

I wonder about dgs2 who seems very small compared to his friends he is 104cm tall and is 4.6.Can anyone tell me how far below average height he is [interest not concern iyswim].

Greylady that puts him above the 25th centile so as long as he is growing at a steady rate, nothing to worry about.

Messi is a gret role model for smaller kids. He is one of the most talented footballers of all time (especially now) according to my DH.
He was born with a growth hormone deficiency which he had injections for to get him to be the height he is (still very small)

We're the same umbrellasinthesun! I think DS is about 94cm and August born about to start school at 4.0. He's on the 2nd centile. But I don't think he has noted it as an issue. I wonder if he will in the next year or two. It's a tough one. I would acknowledge his feelings and have conversation about ways children are different in all kinds of ways.

My dd is absolutely tiny. She's not even on the height scales as less than 2nd percentile (she is 10yrs old). However, I am very short (5ft) so I'm not surprised. She swings between not minding and really hating it. I really hated it so I do understand and pointlessly feel very guilty about it.
She is growing but very slowly, I do wonder if I should see the doc about it but not keen on the idea of her being injected with growth hormones.

We just emphasise the things she is brilliant at and point out that future success/friendships/happiness are in no way related to height. Fortunately she is now getting to the age of understanding that stuff more.

You have my sympathies.

My DS is small for his age too. He's been between the 2nd and 9th centile since birth. Despite being one of the oldest in his class he is still one of the smallest. It doesn't bother him in the slightest though, although he is very sporty, and happily plays football with older children. That said he hates to lose and does get upset at times when he can't keep up with his slightly older cousins.

It sounds like your DS's main issue is not being able to keep up with his friends, rather than his size as such. Is there any way you can get him doing lots of running round type activities out of school, maybe with you, to improve his stamina? Has he said it is his size that upsets him, or is that your interpretation of why he is upset?

DS was the same. I am tiny and DH is about 5'9" so it was inevitable.
However, once the hormones kicked in he grew up and out like a weed.
He will never be a six footer but when out and about with his mates, looks just like the rest of them.
My answer to DS when he complained of his height was always, "DS, you are perfect as you are and will end up being taller than all of us, have patience"
He did and he is.

Also, if you can, teach him to OWN his stature.
As in quality, not quantity IYSWIM.