Anyone deferred their DC reception place?

[Pileofpaperworkwaiting]

If so, for what reasons?

DS is 4. Due to start in Sep. DS has always been an old head on young shoulders. He has attended nursery and playgroup and despite great encouragement from us, and staff, has disliked the free flow of activities and noise level. Not in a major way, just a bit 'meh'.

He is ready for school, but not particularly looking forward to it.On induction days he apparently stuck like glue to year 1 and 2s (mixed age class) but couldn't tell me the names of anyone in his own group after 6 afternoons.

In addition this is not our first choice school and still hopeful of a place at our first choice.

All this is not the be all and end all but we also have the option to go abroad for 3 weeks to visit family. If DS was raring to go with reception we wouldn't even consider- no authorised absences for starters. But given all of the above, just trying weigh up what DS will get most enjoyment out of.

If we did defer (til January) I have a list of groups, activities that would suit DS that he could attend in the interim.

Any input gratefully received!

With his reluctance to mix with peers I would be doubtful whether further removal from opps to form friendships would be a good idea. He would be like the new boy starting in Jan. How about flexi schooling til xmas? When does the three week trip abroad fall?

Hi if we did go, it would be in middle of Oct. Are schools obliged to offer flexi schooling before 5? I mentioned it to the head months ago but she seemed very unimpressed. I know schools have to allow you to defer til 5 but wasn't sure if they have to allow part-time?

I would think really carefully about this.

Obviously what you are hoping will happen is that you get a place at the other school, but in the event that doesn't happen he needs to be in at the beginning if he is struggling socially.

My DS1 was pretty similar, didn't really join in at preschool and wanted to do his own thing. He would stick with the adults rather than play with other children.
Schools are used to managing this though, and he settled brilliantly.

I think you have to operate on the basis that this is where he is going to school and give him the best chance to make friends quickly.

Dd started reception full time at the very latest point (Easter), she had previously done a couple of mornings a week in nursery (it was an EYFS unit). It was right for her. She thrived when she did attend full time and the extra six months at home was what she needed. Academically it made no difference she was still the most able at the end of EYFS in spite of attending less than a third of the time.
In your position I would definitely take the holiday, groups and activities and extra time for possibly a place at your first choice school because let's face it it will be stressful for him to possibly start two new schools in quick succession.

Hmmm. I wouldn't. Run the risk that friends will have got to know each other, bonded etc. I agree with previous poster who said that given his reluctance, this is probably the opposite of what would make him feel comfortable in the long run.

Really appreciate the thoughts. I think I am worried about him having an unhappy reception year. He always seeks out anyone older than him to be with, he would rather wander round aimlessly sometimes than join in with a peer group. When he is with older children he is happy, sociable and has a whale of a time.

I don't know if its linked but he is very very articulate. Sometimes incredibly so. I don't know if perhaps he gets more out of being with older ones for this reason.

Anyway, I mentioned my concern to class teacher. She said that she tends to keep the reception group working as a group rather than allow mixing too much with year 1 and 2 activities. I guess that this could work both ways- it could force him to play with his peers or he might be miserable.

I will think very carefully, it's a big deal and just want his happiness.

Hi. See you concerns but surely they will be similar in January but it will all be harder then. I don't think all children are itching to get to school. Some are but a lot aren't.

Generally kids cope better than the parents do when school starts.

If it were me, if start him but get a slot to talk 1-2-1 with the class teacher about your concerns.

Good luck. My 4yo starts soon too.

Also don't forget he will be with his class all the time. So will soon get established. It's much more intense than a preschool situation in my view so the relationships will build faster without effort.

Dd sounds similar to your little boy, she too is very articulate and an old head on young shoulders (people always used to say "she's been here before" ) She doesn't like noise and chaos and so has preferred the structure that comes further up ks1 and into ks2.
Her EYFS was very small and so the noise wasn't too much of a problem and her teacher put in structure for her.
Admittedly the school weren't overjoyed, I think there's too much processing through a system tbh and dd being out of synch so to speak was probably an inconvenience and I was told that a child who had done similar had been very disadvantaged and never caught up.But dd never ever struggled academically or socially through being part time and starting late.
My friends were concerned that she'd be behind, she'd miss out on reading books and the suchlike whereas in fact she learned to read at home using books off of the bookshelf and the teacher slotted her into the reading scheme when she started school.
I knew what was best for my dd as I am sure you know what is best for your ds you just need to have the courage of your conviction IMO anyway.
I would definitely not turn down the opportunity of taking my child abroad to experience a different culture when the alternative was a school I wasn't 100% certain about that he has no need to attend just yet.