I wrote a grumpy comment on report feedback form and now I feel horrible!

[KeziaCunningham]

Long story and a bit of history between me and teacher, but basically DD's report said she "can be laid back" in maths lessons, with a low effort mark. I interpreted this as fairly thinly veiled teacher code for "can't be arsed".

This is the first time this has been mentioned, so it felt a bit out of the blue.

I filled in the form this morning in a hurry, and wrote that I was surprised at this, and maybe if DD had been stretched a bit more instead of repeating last year's syllabus she would have been more engaged.

I was quite polite really, and didn't let rip like I wanted to, but DD said the teacher looked really upset and embarrassed.

Now I'm sitting here stewing about it and feeling really guilty. It was a great report apart from that and I feel like I've totally overreacted to one negative comment.

Teachers - are you used to parents giving feedback like this? Should I apologise or should I let it stand? I do agree that she should have been given more interesting work to do (she worked with the Y6's last year so did it all again this year with no extension work) I did complain a few times through the year and got fobbed off so it's not out of the blue that I feel this, but it is out of the blue that DD has been "Laid back".

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. That's how I feel as a teacher.

If I (tactfully!) tell parents how their child is really doing in their report I get scathing angry letters in response, some of which have been horribly hurtful and made me wonder why I spent hours writing their six page report, or why I've spent all year working evenings and weekends just because I "care" and want to make the curriculum "exciting." Why bother if that's the response?

If I DON'T tell them how they're really doing and include all the little extra details that didn't come up during previous parent evenings, or have happened since, then they wonder why they "weren't told" when the issue becomes more serious. If I had to tell every parent about every single little thing that happened in school during the year, I'd have most parents outside every day...it's just not possible to say it all. A report is a chance to do that.

I don't think some parents realise the function of reports. It's not a trophy. It's supposed to be an honest reflection on how the child is doing and what they need to improve, whether that's their attitude towards school or their manners or their academic attainment.

All of my children reports have always been great but I still use them as an opportunity to say what I think of the year. I have written absolutely glowing feedback, where I thought the teacher was fantastic in every way, my child really flourished and that it was all due to the amazing work of the teacher, on the opposite hand I have also written things like disruption in the class was managed very ineffectively and I didn't feel my child was progressed/stretched.

I have never felt bad because surely the teachers' use these as development, as a professional I am constantly reviewing feedback from customers to improve the service I provide. (As long as it isn't rude and offensive, which clearly it wasn't!).