Not sure whether to talk to the teacher about this.

[bunjies]

We moved DD1(10) to a new school in January as she had been having problems with the girls in her class resulting in bullying. She absolutely loves her new school and has made some lovely friends. However, there is a girl (I'll call her Lucy) in the class whom she doesn't get on with so she keeps interactions with her to a minimum. DD is sensitive to any kind of negative behaviour towards her as a result of her previous experience so tries to keep clear of anyone she isn't comfortable with. This morning dd2(8) mentions that dd1 had told her Lucy punched her in the arm yesterday. She hadn't said anything to either me or dh. We spoke to dd1 about it and she told us that during a game of dodge ball the ball was rolling towards her & Lucy shouted to her to pass it to her. Before she could do so though another boy had got to it and taken it. At this point Lucy shouted to her "why didn't you give it to me" and punched her on the upper arm. DD1 said it did hurt her but it made her angry more so she said "what did you do that for" but didn't get an answer. DD1 didn't say anything to the teacher but did tell her closest friend.

We've told her we understand why she didn't want to tell the teacher but if Lucy thinks she can do it once to her she may well feel like she can do it again. I feel that we, as her parents, should show her that we do not accept any violence towards her by anyone and raise it with her teacher as Lucy may have done this before but wondering if we should let it go this time. Any views?

no personal experience but I think perhaps leave it this time, presumably if she is 10 then she is in Yr6 and will be going up to a new school and this term is nearly finished. This girl may not be going to the same school and even if she is the secondary schools are normally much bigger so the chances are they won't have anything to do with each other.

Thanks Peri. No, she is coming to the end of Y5 and will be spending another year in the same class. I suppose we are more sensitive about things like this due to her previous experience. It's more that if this girl has a history of doing stuff like this then maybe the school should know?

I can understand your sensitivity but I can't see any evidence in your post that this girl has "history of doing stuff like this". It sounds like your DD is doing really well at this school and has made sme good friends. I think i would focus on encouraging her to walk away from Lucy and to take strength from her friends. Also make clear to your DD, as I think you say you are, that she should feel able to raise with her teacher should anything happen again.

ok sorry for some reason I had all my ages mixed up!

I would leave it for this term and see what happens. As AlienAttack has said I think perhaps ensure that your daughter knows how to walk away and not get involved but also to know when to tell a teacher.

I think you're understandably sensitive based on your previous experiences. Has there been any indication of ongoing behaviour from this girl? If not, leave it at this stage, as you don't really know what occurred.

The bigger concern is your daughter and lingering issues from what occurred at her old school. Has she had any counselling or help to build her confidence?

Thanks for the messages. I can see where you're all coming from & I'll have a chat with dh later about whether we leave it.

She hasn't had counselling & we do think there may be some lingering issues as she does make reference to what happened. But on the other hand being with her new set of friends has had such a positive effect on her that we've not felt that she has needed any.