How to help my dd prep for school? She is getting anxious

[SkinnyDecaffGiraffe]

Dd (turned 4 in march) starts school in sept.

I will also be going back to work at the end of sept (dd2 maternity leave )and we are hiring a nanny so lots of change going on.

She hasn't said anything but she has started having accidents at preschool again - this only ever was a problem previous when Dd2 arrived. There is so much talk of school, nursery leaving parties and other stuff that I think its overwhelming her.

I feel lost on how to help. It's making me worried about it now!

Any suggestions from some experiences school mums please?

Ps she is used to being a nursery and adhering to rules and doing long days etc so I think its the change that's bothering her.

perhaps get hold of some 'starting school' story books. Topsy and Tim go to school is one and Usborne do a first experiences one as well.

does she know anyone going to the same school? this would help reassure her of some continuity.

it isn't unusual, there are a few children we know who have become unbelievably clingy since starting their settling in sessions and don't even want to go to preschool now.

I am not sure what else to suggest though. I think it will come down to lots of reassurance.

this term is nearly over so once you are in the holidays then I would focus on having fun and maybe reading the stories about starting school etc and talking about how she will still see x and y. you could walk past the school if you can quite regularly and talk about the things you can see in the playground that she likes the look of.

Not sure regarding the nanny. has she ever had one before? will the nanny live in? if so you could reassure her about which room the nanny would have and what the nanny would do in her job but that mummy will be home every night and will still do bedtime stories or bath or whatever will be your special quality time. As you obviously have another little one then you probably need to tell her what time would be just her and you, not the whole family time. If the nanny is a live in nanny then she might want to know that you will still get family time without nanny etc. would the film Mary Poppins be sensible? I haven't thought of it before from the point of view of reassuring children that a nanny can be a good thing but my 4 and 5 year olds love the film so it might be worth thinking about.

thanks Periwinkle...

I will get some books as she likes these and liked the one about having a baby by Topsy and Tim...

We already do a lot of walking past the school and she asks to do it which helps and is good. I think the leaving of nursery is a bigger deal than I thought... she's been attending since she was 8months!

She only knows of one other child going to the school but he's not a friend unfortunately.

The nanny will be live out but I like the idea of mary poppins ...
thank you.

perhaps play down the leaving bit and just big up the summer holidays? that is an enormous part of her life she has been there I suppose. My two were at a preschool that only started from 3 so noone had that kind of attachment to it even though they loved being there.

I think the nanny being live out is probably helpful as that means her 'home' is still just for her and her family so she shouldn't feel any threat there. Mary Poppins can't harm I don't think because it gives a really positive impression of a nanny being fun and loving which is what you want. She is just the right sort of age for it too. my 4 year old has been obsessed with trying to click her fingers since watching it.

It is good she wants to go past the school, that sounds like she is quite excited.

My DS is just finishing his first year of school. His birthday is April and he attended nursery twice a week from being a baby, so similar circumstances to your DD. he also had a baby sister who I was on mat leave with during go first term.

He went through a period of wetting the bed 3-4 nights per week for about three weeks when he started school, and also for a couple of weeks earlier that year when DD was born. These are the only peridots when he's wet the bed since he was potty trained, other than occasional accidents, so it seems likely that they were caused by anxiety about the changes doing on in his life, probably similar to your DD. both times he just stopped doing it after a few weeks (and lots of extra loads of washing!). However, he was perfectly happy about both his sister being born and starting school. Both at the time and since we've spoken about it and I genuinely believe he was happy. I suppose he was probably subconsciously worried, or at least more so than he seemed, but I know he really enjoyed starting school so wasn't too concerned about the bed wetting. I made v light of it when it happened and it just stopped naturally. Hopefully you'll find the same.

Of course your DD may be more anxious about things, but just wanted to say that we had a similar experience and it didn't mean DS ha any problems or real concerns as far as I can tell.

Thanks Silver. That's really helpful to hear your story.

Glad that your DS was happy starting school