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Primary education

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"I've always had my own TA"

5 replies

insanityscratching · 08/07/2013 14:08

Recently a little girl from dd's first primary joined dd's current primary. They were chatting about her old teachers and the TA she used to have and the little girl was questioning why her old TA didn't come to the current school when dd did. (old TA lost her hours when dd moved school).
Dd said rightly that new TA was recruited by new school for dd at that school and old TA went to another school.
The little girl then asked why she has her own TA which left dd to answer "I've always had my own TA" because she has since her first day at nursery. This wasn't enough for the little girl who wanted to know why and there is where dd has a problem.
In her new school dd is largely independent with her TA just responding to her needs as and when and so no one has ever questioned why she has a TA because her TA isn't seemingly attached to her although dd is her priority and dd knows she is there if needed.
Dd has never before questioned why she has a TA because she has always had one I suppose and for her it's just normal but I suppose now I need to explain why she has a TA.
I did say she has a TA to help when she finds things difficult but she's not daft and she knows that lots of children find school more difficult than she does. So what can I say that doesn't wreck her self esteem which is pretty high because of the independence she has and without having to talk about autism because I need to tackle that separately?

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mummytime · 08/07/2013 14:25

I would suggest starting to talk about Autism. "All Cats have Aspergers" might be a good place to start. There was also a good CBBC programme last year.

Sorry but once a child starts to ask they need to be answered.
I know one child who was searching about Autism and Aspergerson the net, before diagnosis had even been started.

insanityscratching · 08/07/2013 16:21

I know I need to sort the autism chat now I'm waiting for Autism Outreach to explore how to talk about it with her. It's complicated as dd knows what autism is because ds has autism (pretty severe) and so her understanding of it is in relation to ds. It will be quite hard for her to grasp that she has autism but she is nothing like ds because of course she has very fixed ideas and flexible thinking isn't her strong point.
I need to get over the fact as well that I will feel like I am kicking a puppy too because she has no comprehension that she has any difficulties and in truth she has very few now anyway and none that would make her stand out and in her lovely inclusive school where she is well supported the autism isn't at all apparent even to autism outreach.

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lougle · 08/07/2013 16:38

'When you were younger, you needed quite a lot of help from grown-ups, so they gave you a TA to help you. You've done so well that you don't need much help at all now, but you still have someone there just in case you need them and that's wonderful for any other children who struggle and don't get the chance to have a TA.'

mummytime · 08/07/2013 16:41

I found Lucy and the Lacemaker helpful, as it includes 3 different children on the spectrum. I have to say a very experienced psychologist from CAHMs was very good too, saying it was a spectrum and so people could be very different (also how everyone is on the spectrum, just we have a cut off point).

I think it is crucial before puberty hits. Also there can be more/different problems as children get older (what is not a problem at 6 can be a problem at 10).

insanityscratching · 08/07/2013 17:50

Lougle that's it Smile Flowers she will accept that, she remembers when she couldn't talk so she can quantify it in those terms and she knows Ms B helps a lot of children even if she is technically "hers" and it buys me time to approach the autism chat in the most considered way with whatever resources there are available.
Mummytime dd is 10 now and I think had I waited for dx (and put in the interventions she's had regardless) instead of being diagnosed at two like she was (moderate to severe autism) then I think now her difficulties don't really merit a diagnosis and certainly not the one she has got tbh. It's something I'm considering although would want to ensure she is supported in secondary school first

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