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Primary education

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Original poster

Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

789 replies

TheOriginalNutcracker · 04/07/2013 17:08

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOriginalNutcracker · 10/07/2013 12:45

They don't get given anything at break times, water or milk, unless it is purchased from the canteen.

Ds is on dinners and so he cannot take an extra drink in to have at lunch as he could if he were on sandwiches.
He has previously been on sandwiches btw, but he prefers a hot dinner.

OP posts:
curlew · 10/07/2013 12:47

Ah, so he could have an extra drink at lunch if he had a packed lunch but he prefers a hot dinner. So.............

eddiemairswife · 10/07/2013 13:08

Thankyou for updating. Ignore some of the rubbish that has been spouted on here. Best of luck to you both.

Fairenuff · 10/07/2013 16:23

It sounds like you are getting there OP, well done to your ds for drinking most of his water. Let's hope he starts to see some benefits soon and will understand why its so important for him.

Thanks for the update.

nooka · 10/07/2013 16:49

Tantrums I would do whatever I could to get her to have the drink she needed, to be honest I really wouldn't care what drink she had if it was an issue, and I can quite see why the OP is concerned here because a small carton of fruit juice for a whole day in the current heat is not nearly enough.

dd also carries her own medicine, but she is 12. We do get concerned on school trips when the rules are that a teacher has to carry all medicine because she needs to take painkillers the moment that she can feel the headache coming on, so if she is not with the teacher at the time that is a big issue.

My feeling is that life is crap enough for children with migraines and the school should cut them some slack. At one point dd was getting two migraines a week, and for us that means that we have to rush back home and sit with her until the pain subsides. At no point did I ever think to tell dd that it was all her own fault. That would be cruel, unfair and untrue.

merrymouse · 10/07/2013 17:59

This is really silly. You don't just want your DS to drink fluid when he is really thirsty (which is what most children would do) you are encouraging him to drink more fluid for medical reasons. He isn't getting a headache, he is getting a migraine which isn't common in children. Sounds like you are doing well finding a compromise, but I would still get a doctor's note as the head is clearly not able to grasp the nature of the problem. (Sorry if you have already done this and I missed that post).

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 10/07/2013 18:29

Much sympathy, OP. I'm still 'hiding' squash in 13yo DS2's water bottle. Shhhh...

exoticfruits · 10/07/2013 19:09

All these posts and it has ended up with a really sensible compromise!

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 15/07/2013 07:48

Wow there are some emotionless people on here.

Migraines are very debilitating- OP as a mother is trying her level best to prevent their occurance.

Yes he is ten but he is still a child !

exoticfruits · 15/07/2013 08:17

And old enough to choose between a migraine and water! I would be be very disappointed with mine if the whined that they got the headache because they couldn't have water without sugar and additives and wanted mummy to tell the nasty school they had to have their own way!
Anyway the problem was sorted last week.

rabbitstew · 15/07/2013 09:01

exoticfruits - are you a doctor or developmental paediatrician? Clearly THIS child does NOT understand the link between drinking water/not drinking water and getting a migraine, so I'm getting a bit fed up with the constant mantra about all 10-year olds being capable of x,y or z. At home, his mother can more or less force him to drink a certain amount of water each day if necessary, but she can't force him to do that when he's out of her care. She can, however, find ways of getting him to drink enough fluids at school until he begins to comprehend the link between drinking fluids and getting relief from migraines, which do after all have multiple triggers, so it's not as if his problem is cured by drinking more water, it's just alleviated. I can perfectly well comprehend, therefore, a 10-year old having a hard time getting his head around this and needing a bit of help with it.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 15/07/2013 09:07

... which is what the head teacher did by finding time to meet with him and agree that he would try to drink more water! Well done that HT, and what a shame that that enraged the OP so much.

exoticfruits · 15/07/2013 09:35

Just a common sense parent!

Goodness knows why this has started up again- we discussed it round and round for days and in the end they got a really sensible solution.
I can't imagine why, having got the sensible, workable solution we need to go back to 'he should have squash'.
I can only think that some people find the principle of the thing more important than what is best for the child.

It was sorted last Wednesday!!

exoticfruits · 15/07/2013 09:36

I think the thread is more about a parent being able to bend school rules than the DS and his migraines!

daftdame · 15/07/2013 09:47

exotic I think that your posts clearly show you think this.^

I just hope your views are more responsive to the situation in real life.

In my experience parents motivations tend to genuinely stem from being concerned for their child rather than wanting to throw their weight about and bend rules.

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you never had to ask for a rule to be bent! As a pass time I think it would be a stressful one but maybe some parents just like living life on the edge! (Personally I think there are better kicks to be had elsewhere)

exoticfruits · 15/07/2013 10:14

We are missing the point entirely that the problem was sorted!! Sensibly.

exoticfruits · 15/07/2013 10:17

There is no need to bend a rule to get a 10yr old to manage without sugar and additives in his water for 6 hours a day. I'm sure medical opinion would only be to bend the rule as an absolute last resort- they haven't got to 'last resort' yet.
I wish I hadn't seen that someone added- it had been left on a sensible note.

rabbitstew · 15/07/2013 10:20

Exoticfruits - YOU kick started it again by going on about his age, as though all 10-year olds are the same. Also, the OP has not said that the problem is sorted. Also, her child is still bringing in water contaminated with bits of fruit and insisting on having water kept in the staff fridge Grin. I might try that one... I'm sure my ds would drink more water if he could keep it in the fridge and have orange slices in it.

daftdame · 15/07/2013 10:29

rabbitstew You go girl! Live life on the edge! ....Goes off singing 'We are the Champiorrrrrrnnnnns! (not)

Floggingmolly · 15/07/2013 10:36

You. See, Rabbit, I can't comprehend a 10 year old of normal intelligence not being able to grasp the link between refusing to drink and getting a migraine.

What's to understand? You know that horrific pain that left you incapacitated for the best part of a day (if it's actual migraine we're talking about)? Well, drink more water and it probably won't happen again... Confused
I think a four year old could assimilate that.

daftdame · 15/07/2013 10:43

Yes...it is just all about the squash!

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 15/07/2013 10:49

Floggingmolly, my DS is 11, fairly bright, passed the 11+ for a super selective, etc. But he has no common sense. He 'forgets' to take his jumper off in the heat, still has a few toileting issues, is a bit quirky. I know he would struggle with remembering to act on the link between drinking and headaches.

The OP's DS might 'intellectually' know he should drink more to prevent migraines, just like someone who is overweight knows they should eat less for their health, as a smoker might know smoking isn't good for them, as you might know that drinking that second bottle of wine will make you feel shit in the morning. Just because you know it doesn't mean you do it.

Elibean · 15/07/2013 10:57

Goodness.

Well done OP for finding a solution to help your ds.

There are a lot of people posting on here who lack imagination, or empathy, or both.

And probably lots, like me, who should find better things to do with their time Wink

rabbitstew · 15/07/2013 10:58

Floggingmolly - you see, I can't comprehend you telling another parent they are either intent on breaking schools rules rather than genuinely concerned about their child's health, or that their child is of limited intelligence. As for what's to understand: child gets regular migraines, ONE trigger for which is not drinking enough fluids. By "not drinking enough fluids" this does NOT mean not drinking at all, or not drinking when thirsty, it means not drinking more than he thinks he needs of something he doesn't like. OP has only ever said he doesn't drink ENOUGH water, not that he doesn't drink water. OP has not said fluids are the only trigger. I can easily imagine that in a 10-year old's mind, the trigger is the unsympathetic teachers delaying his calpol and not letting him drink something he finds palatable in large doses.

MidniteScribbler · 15/07/2013 11:42

www.google.com.au/#sclient=tablet-gws&q=ice+water+bottle&oq=ice+water+bottle&gs_l=tablet-gws.3..0i7j0j0i7.156175.161188.2.162564.9.9.0.0.0.4.1553.6036.2-4j5-1j2j1j1.9.0....0...1c.1.19.tablet-gws-psy.Jmq6cTf8NZ4&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.&fp=c7e9f263077fb90b&biw=1280&bih=800&biv=i%7C3%3Bd%7CEQCpj-u1HglMMM%3A

OP, I have a few bottles like this with a freezer brick in the middle. I freeze the brick overnight and fill it with cold water in the morning. It keeps my water cold all day. Might be worth a try with your son if he prefers his water icy cold.