How bad is it that ds can't dress himself and is starting school?

[Stillhopingstillhere]

He's just 4.
He tries, fails, gives up and cries. He can get undressed but getting dressed seems hopeless! I am trying to keep encouraging him but sometimes now he cries before we've even attempted it.
I don't want it to become some huge bone of contention so I'm treading quite gently.

He's ok with other things, going to toilet, listening, putting hand up, finding own name and following instructions.

If it wasn't for the getting dressed thing I wouldn't be too concerned about him. Some of my friend's children who are 6 or 7 months older have only just started to dress themselves. I think ds will be able to do it in a few months time but he will be one of the younger ones when he starts school.

Should I be worried? All I can do is keep practicing really isn't it?

Reception Year is basically extended nursery - 'learning through play'. Staff will encourage them to learn these basic skills but of course they will help if required.

My 5 year old daughter was helped putting her tights on after PE for instance.

Look carefully at the clothes you get for his uniform. Most school trousers at this age are elasticated and don't have zips or buttons. Buy him shirts and jumpers that are a little too big as he'll find it easier to slip them on and off. Velcro shoes etc.

I suspect that they'll keep their socks (and pants) on for PE, so putting on his plimsols might be more important (again look for the ones with the wide velcro fastening).

Finally, do you have an induction day coming up soon? Don't feel worried about approaching the teacher to see what they are expecting. In fact I remember a mum asking pretty much this question in a packed hall of new parents at my DS's induction meeting - the sigh of relief was audible as everyone was so glad that someone had been brave enough to ask the question they all wanted answering.

I just leave the buttons undone on polo shirts, very few of the children ever have them fastened in our school, especially in winter under jumpers etc. PE is usually done in socks, and plimsolls just go over the top so that's okay for my two. But it's quite good fun spotting PE day (it varies at our school) - they always come out with trousers back to front, or shirts inside out, and jumpers that are not their own. It's quite cute in an exasperating kind of way! And our reception teacher often says that for the first term PE is pretty much just a learning to get dressed and undressed lesson anyway, they only do about ten mins activities - the rest of the time is taken up by changing!

socks are pretty important.

Year R kids seem to shed their socks at any excuse , the sand pit & PE being only two of the most regular reasons.

Please don't stress. Two months of gentle practise over the Summer.

I remember back to my Aug born DS starting school.

Velcro shoes, elasticated trousers, polo shirts. Sweatshirt one size larger - easier to get on and off.

He'll soon get the hang of it - some clothing will be back to front and inside out but it's not the end of the world.

DS now in y5 and I can still tell the days he has done PE!!!

DS is just coming to the end of reception and I can tell when he has had PE because things are on backwards or inside out.

He once came home with a 'star' sticker because he had got dressed all by himself after PE. Everything was on back to front, trousers, Polo shirt & jumper, even his shoes were on the wrong feet, but he was so proud of himself

Will he wear polo shirts or proper shirts? You can get shirts from M§S with a fake top button - velcro fastened instead. Get larger size and try to put on like a jumper.
There's a good trick to put a coat on that we used with DS - put the coat on the floor and stand where your head would go. Then put your arms in the sleeves and flip the whole thing over your head. It was getting the second arm in that he struggled with in regard to coats. Once at school he developed or copied the superhero method which involves hanging the hood on your head then putting arms in sleeves. This stops the second sleeve running away when trying to insert second arm.

Get socks that can go inside out without looking too odd. Put hand in sock and make a sock puppet mouth. Sock puppet needs to give toes a big bite, then pull the outside of the sock neck over foot and up ankle. A larger sized sock and a laissez-faire attitude to heel position are helpful.
Can he pull pants/trousers up after toilet? If he can then he is halfway there with trousers. If not, then I think that needs to be a priority. No shame in sitting down to get legs in - I still do!
And it's amazing how quickly they pick it up once at school.

Most Preppies first year here in Oz) can't dress themselves confidently. I always have to hide a giggle watching them come out of the change rooms after swimming.

A few things - buy in a size a bit bigger, it's easier to get on. Elasticated waists for pants so no buttons or zips. Velcro Shoes! Absolutely a must! I can't understand why parents would send their kids in lace ups until they are old enough to them up themselves. I don't have time to tie 30 pairs of laces after PE (not to mention the ongoing retying during the day).

For his socks - sew a small piece of cord or ribbon to the back (just like the tabs on a pair of shoes) to help him pull them on if he has difficulty.

If they're doing swimming (do they do that at school the UK?), send him with his swimmers on under his clothes in the morning of. That's one less change he has to do, and they're usually harder to put on than underwear.