Unaccompanied bus travel in West London for 10 year old?

[Strix]

DD is at the end of year 5. DS1 (year 3) is moving schools. In order to get them both to school on time, I am considering letting DD get on the bus and take herself there and back... I'm rather nervous about it but understand this is actually encouraged by many schools.

We are in Twickenham so not horribly dangerous surrounding. But I do worry she won't look at traffic and will be run over...

Anyway, thoughts? Advice? Comments?

She is generally very capable and independant. But I am (apparently) nervous safety concsious mum... aren't we all???

DD2 travelled alone on the bus into Ealing from Easter in year 6 (she is Oct birthday). Her childminder quit at v short notice so we didn't have much choice! She was fine, has now become quite the bus expert and can tell you all you need to know about bus routes around here!

I live on the outskirts of London & my dd is also yr 5... Many of her friends have been getting the bus to school since yr 4 & some as young as yr 3!!!

I totally think it depends on the child, I wouldn't let my dd go that far that she needs to take a bus but then she isn't very streetwise where as some of her class mates very much are!!

I know she will have to bus to her secondary school & I'll have to let her go a bit then but I struggle with that!

I got the train and then walked a mile across a city centre crossing dual carriageways etc from Yr6. I wouldn't say I always used the crossings or was sensible but we did survive. Will she be traveling with friends? if they are sensible then you need not worry, if they can be a bit erm well less sensible then perhaps make it clear again to her about the dangers etc but I suppose if she doesn't do it this year then you will still be faced with the same situation next year. If I remember right I was extremely sensible in Yr 6 and 7 and gradually got less sensible as I got older.

Thanks for the responses. We are going to start doing this... Yikes.

Me:
DD:

Now, what is the score on a ten year old getting on and off the bus alone? Does she need an Oyster card? Will I find social services at my door.

Will I find social services at my door

No - half the kids in London bus/tube themselves to school :) Sadly the SS's have a lot more to be getting on with :(

She will be fine I'm sure - you might not be

She will need a Zip Oyster card. Warn her she will have the same card AND PHOTO until she is 16 (dd age 14 not impressed with this )

Oyster cards start at 11, so she doesn't need one yet.

Even if you lose it, they send you a new one with the same photo on it!

My son came home via train and bus (very easy transition - right outside the station) from the beginning of Year 5. However, this was a route he had done all the previous year with his nanny, so it was quite ingrained IYSWIM. No problems at all. We got him a PAYG phone and put a tenner in an inside pocket of his bag.

If your daughter looks 11, get her a zip card - my son kept being asked his age on the bus, which made him feel uncomfortable!

Under 11s still need an Oyster card if they're travelling unaccompanied!

Under 11's only need an Oystercard if they're travelling unaccompanied on the Underground. Buses are fine without one if they're under 11.

I'd get her an Oyster card anyway if she's 10. Saves any hassle in case she's asked about her age.

Yeah... Until she loses it.

So, next question. Is a child who is old enough to get on a bus also old enough to have a phone? (double yikes)

Yes to oyster card. Yes to phone. Because she can call you if there's a problem.

My DD is Y6, so a year older, but has been doing to and from school in London by herself for the last few months.

From September she will travel from Yorkshire to London and cross London by herself every week. Friends in her class travel in from Oxford, Surrey, Essex etc by themselves already every day.

Just make her a bit streetwise. Who to approach if she's scared/worried/lost. How not to walk about with her phone in her hand. Make sure purse isin a zipped pocket etc. Will there be anyone else doing the journey that she can buddy up with?

Yes to phone as well. DS is 11 and we got him a phone round about 6 months ago because he'll be going to school 17 miles away starting in August and he'll need a phone in case of problems with transport, wanting to change his schedule after school etc. He's been great with the phone and for a boy who would lose his head if it weren't attached to his head, he's not misplaced it once.

When I was 10 I used to travel from Twickenham to Hammersmith and back. My grandma took me once on the bus to be sure I knew where to get off and on, and that was it. I was a very dippy child and was absolutely fine - and actually, in many ways, I enjoyed the independence. I hope your DD enjoys it too.

I have decided to let her travel to school on her own in the last two weeks of school. I have emailed the school asking them to hold her back until au pair can get there in the afternoon. No idea if that is going to be well received. I guess I'll have to come up with a new plan if that doesn't go down well.

From reading the comments on here I feel that I'm totally out of touch. I wouldn't let my child go as far as the corner shop alone until at least age 12. I wouldn't let them take public transport alone anywhere until year 10.
I thought that was lenient since I wasn't allowed to go to school on my own until I was in sixth form aged 16, and that was in a small, rural town in Kent. He started work late to drop us and would then take a break at 3 instead of lunch and come pick us up.
I left home for uni and didn't have any problems with independence, I now commute around London all day, so my dad's over-protective ways don't seem to have caused me any lasting problems. .. Other than to warp my sense of perspective in things like this.
Genuinely I wouldn't even consider allowing any child below age 13 to go anywhere on public transport alone. It baffles me when I see it in London. I still haven't seen it happen in my home town. Travel links there are bad, perhaps public transport is less of an option there so children don't get the opportunity to become as street-wise and savvy as the kids elsewhere. Perhaps in London and other cities and the areas surrounding them it's fine for kids to travel alone.
If it was me I'd see whether one school had a breakfast club, take one child in early and try to get the other in on time. My SiL pays someone to take one of her kids in so she can take the other. Obviously shelling out money is never good, but you can't be in two places at once.

Really you wouldn't let a child under 14 on public transport alone?!! Yr ten is age 14.

My ds1 gets a bus to high school, ds2 is eleven today and will be going to high school in sept on the bus.

Ds1 goes to town on his won, has got the train to friemds and to London on his own (2hrs from us).

Ds2 goes to local shops, library and park on his own and to primary school (half hour walk tho he bikes).

I physically cannot get them to high school, have little ones to take to primary and the bus is fine and perfectly safe.

Op I am sure she will be fine, yes to a phone, ds2 got one today for his day.

they need and benefit from bit of independence.

I really wouldn't have, no. But posts like yours are making me re-think! :)

I used to get buses around Leeds when I was about 10, and also used to walk the dog at a much younger age in Roundhay Park...am quite sure my parents would be reported to ss if that was today as opposed to early 80s.

My DS is only 8, and we haven't let him go anywhere on his own yet, but the time will come. And given the amount of time he has spent on London buses, tubes, trains, I am sure he will be ready for it. We are in SW London, nice area, but not that far from Brixton.

OP - you're doing the right thing!

I am the most paranoid, over protective parent there is (lived in London too long, I think), but even I accepted that Dd needed to travel to Secondary by herself at 11. She's totally fine.

Honestly mumlawyrr htrey are often far more capable than we give them credit for and you cant transport them around forever!

Once they start having more of a social life etc they need to be able to get around. Ds1 goes to lazer quest or cinema or town etc. And once at high school its pretty standard from them to go to and from school on their own.

Your dad was obviously lucky to be able to be flexible with his work, most parents dont have that option.

I and had much more freedom than mine had tbh, but I do make sure they get as much is possible, it all depends on where they live etc. But most kids can go to school on their own from yr5/6 depending on roads etc and certainly by high school.

When I was 7, I walked to school on my own and crossed two busy roads. As I said above, I was commuting to Hammersmith at ten. I don't really see what the danger is, unless you have a child who you would not trust to cross roads alone - if this is the case by ten years old or so, they need to be taught to do so safely as a matter of urgency!

Very useful thread

dd1 started walking (crossing two quiet roads) to the local shops on her 9th birthday. Also in SW London.

She's fine on her own, easily distracted when with friends - I would worry about traffic a bit, if she went out with girlfriends.

Other than that, I think she's well capable - not after dark without friends to walk with, though. I'm not brave enough for that, even if she is.

My neighbour's daughter takes a bus and 2 separate tubes plus a walk at the other end to get to school every day - she's been doing it alone since she was just 11.

If DD gets into the school we want for secondary then she'll be doing a similar journey.

When I was at boarding school, the boarding house was 3/4 of a mile from the main school and we all walked there and back multiple times a day on our own - I recall one girl getting hit by a car, but she was in the 6th form!