Should DD go to private school at 6 or 4?

[maxiemum100]

We've been saving our pennies so that DD can go to private school next year at 4. Oakfield seems fantastic and very inclusive. Not sure she will get in as seems to be a lot of competition for places. It will be a real stretch financially and much easier if she went from 5 or 6. Would she realy miss out on a huge amount if she went to the local state school until 6? I've heard Downsview is very good. Also Rockmount. But we are closest to Cypress which came 65 out of 70 schools in SATS for last 3 years. Really appreciate constructive thoughts about whether we should wait. Thank you.

Unless it's easily affordable, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't wait till she's 4.

You could even wait longer - I know plenty of people who move children from state to private at 7 or even 9 (generally to prep for 11+ or 13+).

Or you can do state and supplement with tutors and extra activities and go for private secondary (we are doing this route).

Sorry, wait till she's 6!

Only you know your dd. How do you think she would react to a school move? She will have made friends, have a best friend and be part of a little group. I moved my dcs when there were 7 and nearly 9. My 9 year old ds never looked back but I had a lot of tears from dd for many months. It was worth it in the end and turned out OK but a large part of that was because she bought into the move and actively encouraged it. Had she not, I think it may have been harder. That said, they are both very happy now.

Depends on your dc. My dc would have struggled with that. She's almost 6 now and would hate to be moved away from her school and friendship groups.

Thanks everyone. I'm told by the nursery and friends with children of similar ages that she seems very sociable. What she will be at 6 is anyones guess. A couple of friends with children at private school say the building blocks and zest for learning is often laid between 4 and 7 so it's best to send her at that age. Not sure how true that is.
Anyone got direct experience of Oakfield Prep in Dulwich or Old Palace in Croydon which are our preferred schools for different reasons? Thanks again for helpful feedback.

If it were my child, I would send her at 4. However, I would say that at the girls' private school where I volunteer, the classes are constantly changing to accommodate new arrivals, and departures, and new girls always seem to be welcomed with open arms by the existing pupils, regardless of what year group they go into.

I don't think that state will necessarily quash the zest for learning or neglect the building blocks. Unless it's a rubbish school! I think the main concern should be friendship groups - but if she's sociable and it's a matter of saving thousands of pounds, I'd be inclined to go the cheaper route (and indeed have myself chosen the cheaper route). Six is still young enough to be flexible.

I think it is worth avoiding sending her as "the new girl" into an established class/year group. So if the entry at 6 has a good sized intake this isn't much of a worry, but if it would be a couple of new pupils in an established class then it might be worth starting at 4.

We worried about this too and ended up sending our DDs to nursery at the prep school where they are now so they would be with the same kids from age 3.

However, in hindsight I think waiting till 6 wouldn't be a problem at all. At my DDs' school new kids arrive every term and they all seem to be absorbed very quickly - after a week, it feels like they've been there forever.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

We worried about this too and ended up sending our DDs to nursery at the prep school where they are now so they would be with the same kids from age 3.

However, in hindsight I think waiting till 6 wouldn't be a problem at all. At my DDs' school new kids arrive every term and they all seem to be absorbed very quickly - after a week, it feels like they've been there forever.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

don't know why that posted twice - sorry!

I think children mix in at any age and I wouldn't worry from that perspective. DD has gone to her school from the start - in fact she went part time to the Nursery - but children have come and gone without a fuss.

The most obvious reason for starting in Reception is that you're more likely to get a space. In fact if we'd not gone to the Nursery then we'd not have got a space until Yr2 at DD's school because always oversubscribed in the early years.

At her school the big change is in Yr 4 when lots of children go off to board and others (State til 8) join.

Are your state options that bad? I mean , you use phrases like 'saving the pennies' and 'a real stretch financially'. It doesnt sound like you can comfortably afford to go private all the way.

My kids are in private secondaries via primary, so I'm not a indie basher. I'm just questioning whether this is an efficient use of what appears to be a limited income.