Do any of you dislike your LO's teacher?

[Emily1974]

Hi everyone,

Just wonder if I am the only one who dislike DS's teacher because she is very uncaring and immature. (I have liked all my children's teacher in the past). What makes matter worst is that my DS does require extra support with his work. She does know I dislike her and I can't hide it, this probably doesn't help my DS :(. I know it's almost the end of the academic year. She is less likely to be his teacher again in September but she might become my DD's teacher and this really bugging me.

My DD is doing great in school at the moment, I really don't want her to ruin DD's education by for example putting her into the wrong group where she is not challenged and not learning. I just don't trust her immaturity. I know I have to let go as I can't do anything about it. Just wonder if any other parents experienced something similar?

Thanks.

Im sorry you are feeling this way and hope next year is better for you both. I don't like my child's current teaching assistant, she's had her part of year one and the whole of year two, in year one I expressed my concerns to her about the possibility my little one had special needs, her reply was there's nothing wrong with her, she's just stubborn and got a bad attitude! Her teacher on the other hand told me a whole different story, they were very concerned, she struggled to remember, was very behind, fidgety a big list of concerns. Fast forward to year two she seems to shout at her for the littlest of things such as last week when I sent in a packed lunch for a school trip and she shouted at her telling her she was naughty as school were providing one, well shouldn't she have shouted at me as I sent it. My little girl does have special needs, she is on an iep, has support for self regulation, sensory processing disorder and foetal alcohol effects due to her birth mother, she also has extra support with phonics and a challenge book as she finds it hard not to mess or talk when she's sitting and supposed to be listening or working and you know what her TA says about this, there's nothing wrong she's just pushing my buttons! Can't wait till she's in year 3

I'd say the opposite. My daughter's teacher is truly lovely but I still disagree with some of her assessments. But on the whole I can't see whether a parent's liking or otherwise of the teacher has much to do with anything. They don't teach the parents and nor are they supposed to be the parents' friends. So, on the whole I think it's not relevant.

The uncaring or immature aspects of a teacher could have practical difficulties associated with them. Could you expand a little bit more about what the problems actually are?

Blimey! There's a TA just looking for a smack in the mouth!

Dd's my fifth child and her teacher is lovely. I'd say in the past twenty years I only remember three teachers that I didn't particularly like. Two of them I thought were pretty poor teachers and one of them was a very good teacher but her communication skills weren't great.
I don't think any of them knew I didn't like them as I managed to keep my feelings hidden and my children thought that I thought they were brilliant regardless

It may show less with really small children but teachers are people, so while a teacher might be really great at thinking up things for the more able children she might not be so good at repeatedly going over the basics with the stragglers or rephrasing the lesson in such a way as to suddenly make sense to someone who clearly does not get it.
Or she might be exactly the opposite at teaching the stragglers and not that good at providing inspiring work for the ones who did all that stuff years ago and have spent the last two months staring out the window. One mother's idea of a great teacher might well be another mother's idea of a total nightmare.

I wouldn't say it has anything to do with liking the teacher or not, but anecdotally there does seem to be an issue with schools, systems or teachers who expect children of a certain age to be at a certain level and insist on teaching them at that level regardless of where the child is in reality. But if the school or teacher does that you can't really say you don't like the teacher. But you can say you don't much care for the system or teaching method.

I think my DS's teacher is a bloody saint! I only wish I had her reserves of patience. She's fierce but in a good way. Nobody messes with her!
That said, I have met some teachers in my life who I am horrified are teachers simply due to a complete lack of common sense, no gumption at all, and flaky wobbly personalities.

As a PP said though, it's about their ability to do the job well, not be liked by parents.

You may find it different for your dd anyway.
Dd2 had a teacher who I thought was "okay". She never got dd2 I felt, desptie her being quite easy to "get". I thought she was just a bit "wet"-that's a bit ruder than i mean, but not really into it.

She had ds a few years later, she moved into his class part way through the year, and I was worried as he doesn't like change, and I didn't think she was that good. But he adored her from the start, really got exactly where he was at and she was wonderful with him, made things exciting and was really on fire with him.

I don't know whether she just gelled more with him, she had changed, or something else.

I have also, as learnandsay said, had a conversation with someone with one of us saying how brilliant a teacher was with our dc, and the other saying about a dreadful teacher they'd had one year-and it turned out to be the same teacher. Rather awkward in some ways, but just showing that for some teachers, why you don't like them can equally well be the reason others like them.

Thanks for all the replies.

littlemiss06 - I think DS's teacher is similar to your little girl's TA!

I know a lot of parents in DS's class dislike her. Some think she is ok but never heard anyone said she is good. She is young and new, this is her first year of being a teacher. I do suspect that she expects all children should be able to do certain practical things like getting change for PE quick enough or simply open a pack of cheese snack etc. She seems to blame me for being a bad parent that he is not able to do these things efficiently. DS always have problems putting his clothes the right way round, he is getting better but just not as quick and accurate enough compared to his peers.

He is not very advance on fine motor skills like holding a pencil, opening things with his fingers etc. He is always encouraged to do everything by himself, I dont change for him, I do have to sit there for 20mins every morning to watch him change though.

Many times DS was putting his hand up (for a long time) for wanting to go to toilet or need help to do something he gets ignored. Once he came home crying so I asked her about it at the door and she said "oh no there's nothing." I was not impressed. Then later DS explained to me that his art teacher said he can take the craft he made home but his teacher didn't want to listen to him so he went home with nothing. He is not the first child who commented that "she doesn't listen." neither.

I wish I am better at hiding my feeling. I just can smile when I speak to someone who I don't like.

I wouldn't engage any further at all with the TA for starters. And would be loudly voicing my concerns to anyone who would listen about her suitability for the job.

(posting to littlemiss obv) (horrified by your post!)

OP- I'm in Italy so it's different, but dd has 3 teachers, her "main" one, her history and geography one, and her English one. I love love love the first two, and find it hard to be civil with the last one. She a) doesn't know her subject b) terrifies the kids by giving them 2 or 3 as a mark out of 10 and blowing a whistle for silence c) plays on her mobile (facebook and youtube are her sites of choice) d) fetches her own 3 yr old from the nursery and keeps her in the class for 2 hrs with our kids.

We have just discovered she will also be their teacher for history and geography next year and are all (except strangely, (or not) the mum who is her friend in real life) totally horrified.

When some of the mothers complained about her giving them 2 and 3 in tests she laughed and said yes, she had intended to scare them and it had worked.

Yes, Its very very rare that I don't 'like' someone and it takes a lot to give me cause to. So far in my Ds's very short school career there has been 1 teacher who managed to do this and in all honesty I could not give a flying fig if he thought the same as me!.....he was the most vindictive character I have ever come across in my whole life! He pulled some particularly nasty stunts to cause confrontation but I still managed to keep smiling and be pleasant so my DS didn't pick up on this, and no he didn't do a good job of teaching my DS...and yes he prefered to blame the parents for the fact that he 'chose' not to follow my DS's IEP while getting increasingly frustrated because my DS was not producing anything from all the teaching he had been providing.........arse.

There is a chance that my Dd will be in his class in the future, if it is that she gets him I will start a fresh and see him as a 'new teacher'. It's early days yet but she is the opposite to my DS so I suspect she will have the opposite affect on the teacher and be the best thing since sliced bread....here's hoping anyways.

Littlemiss I think a letter to the headteacher would be in order about that TA, mentioning the examples in your post!

We had to move schools last yr, due to job relocation. Her last school was lovely and there wasn't a teacher or assistant who wasn't fab.

She has two teachers at her new school. One teacher for one day and the other for 4 days. The one day teacher specialises in a certain subject and the kids learn loads from her about that subject. But she is v. Shouty, DD has been upset by this numerous times and she has a definite public persona. The 4 day teacher is a good teacher, but not an easy person to get on with. She's defensive and her teaching seems to be very desk bound. Dd's old teacher used any excuse to get the kids outside and moving, this one doesn't despite the so called forest status of the school.

Out of eight teachers, i've liked 2 of them a lot, really disliked 1, had mixed feelings about 2 of them and the rest have been ok.

The one I really hated though was lazy and arrogant with no compassion whatsoever. She was quite young too, but in her case, I doubt experience will change her. That was years ago, but DD still remembers how scared she was the whole year she was in her class. (I wish I had done something about it.)

Yes I do. Very very much. :(