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Primary education

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Original poster

AIBU to feel uncomfortable/puzzled about this?

10 replies

Snapdragons1 · 20/06/2013 22:06

My daughter is in KS1, likes her teacher and has made good progress. Recently I suspect he's been showing her favouritism, eg. more than her fair share of classroom rewards (to the extent that even my daughter is a bit bemused), highly complementary comments in her reading record etc. Recently, he said to me "can I ask a favour; would you help out on the school trip?" He explained that he has a "list" of what he considers "quality parents" and apparently I'm near the top. (I can't believe a teacher would actually admit to having a list ranking parents according to "quality"!!!) He said "we'd love it if you could come". So no pressure then. He wasn't going to accept "no" for an answer, so I said I'd check what I've got on at work and let him know. I don't think it matters who helps out on the trip and there has never been a shortage of helpers in the past, so what's really going on here? It feels unusual and it's making me uncomfortable.

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lougle · 20/06/2013 22:14

What do you think is going on?

Either he likes your DD and she is earning her rewards

He likes your DD and thinks you are a suitable parent to help on the trip

He likes you and thinks you are a suitable parent to help on the trip

He is attracted to you.

I would imagine that the least likely is the last one, but there you go.

Original poster

Snapdragons1 · 20/06/2013 22:36

Thanks lougle. To answer your question I don't know, that's why I posted...

OP posts:

Feenie · 20/06/2013 22:36

I don't think it matters who helps out on the trip

Bless you

Oh believe me, it definitely matters!

learnandsay · 20/06/2013 22:43

What do you mean it's the least likely one! We haven't seen the OP. It might be very likely. People are human.

CaterpillarCara · 20/06/2013 22:45

I was told I was on the "quality list" by a reception teacher - she meant that my head was screwed on, I didn't have an unrealistic idea of my own child, and I was able to focus on other children as well as my own.

lougle · 20/06/2013 22:48

People are human, but the average teacher will see 30 parents on a regular basis. I doubt that a teacher would be so overt if they are relative strangers, as the OP implies.

DD2's teacher asked me if I'd help in the classroom and has suggested that I help in that same class next year even though DD2 will move on to another class. She is a woman. If she'd been a man, do you think I would have thought 'ooh something funny going on?' No.

gwenniebee · 20/06/2013 22:49

Oh, it's true that there are some parents we would prefer to come on trips than others! However, it's (imo, anyway) highly unprofessional to make the parents aware if they are preferred/not preferred.

The whole rewards thing is a bit weird, but I must admit that there have been a couple of occasions when I have realised for one reason or another that a lovely, "middly" type pupil has been a bit overlooked and try to redress the balance a bit. Could that be happening for your dd? There's no harm in going in and saying that she's delighted to be getting all this credit, but could he please make sure she knows what it's for, as sometimes she comes home a bit confused.

Breatheslowly · 20/06/2013 22:51

I can sort of see where he is coming from in terms of preferring some parents over others for a trip, but this should probably only apply in extreme cases. There will always be the odd parent that you wouldn't feel confident allowing to assist with anyone's child. However I wouldn't expect him to share this information with you and certainly not have a ranking. He sounds a bit odd and unprofessional.

simpson · 20/06/2013 23:12

There are definately parents they would rather have on trips and I have been asked to go in DS's (yr3) trip although I suspect it's because I am CRB checked more than anything else

Going on a trip I will have to supervise 6 kids round a museum so I can imagine there would be some parents that they would trust more than others.

DeWe · 21/06/2013 09:31

I would guess that he has anumber of parents in the class who will clammer to be on the trip, that he doesn't want.

It may be that they're of the "my dc can do no wrong" variety, the "I won't look after anyone else's dc" variety, the "I will be sneaking off for my cigarette" variety, the "children all run rings round" variety or the "daydream and need more looking after than the kids" variety. Or another.

What he wants then to to be able to say to these other parents when they ask is that they're too late as all the places have been filled.

Of course his collegue next year will hate him as they'll be putting their name down to do it the first week in September.

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