Teacher hates me-do I give her my DD?

[howlingcow]

I have removed my 2 DD's from their school this year. It all started as DD1 (yr 5) was desperately unhappy and begging me to change her school, she wasn't being bullied but felt she was struggling and receiving no help. DD2 (year 2) decided she also wanted to go and as I'd had a lot of misgivings about her teacher (as do many other parents)and after this teacher had a strange reaction when my DD answered a question on a questionnaire which made the teacher look bad (Teacher told DD she'd hurt her feelings and it was a nasty thing to write when she'd written an honest answer) I took DD2 out after Easter hols. I now know through a friend who works in the school that this teacher hates me with a passion, trouble is there was no room in the other school for DD3 who goes into this teachers class in September (year1)! I believe she's unprofessional enough to take it out on my DD even if subconsciously. I've toyed with the idea of home schooling her till there's a place but she's very sociable and would miss her friends. The headteacher doesn't deal with things (the school is struggling and LEA aware of this) and I also don't want to get my teacher friend in trouble for telling me. What would you do? Sorry for length of this!

I would struggle massively, tbh, even though I realise that teachers should be professional enough to separate the two factors.

Having said that, I removed DD2 from her infant school because the Head Teacher was incredibly rude to me and wouldn't put DD2's welfare above her own ego, so I'm not exactly unbiased.

You're right lougle, they should be pro enough but there have been so many instances of this teacher being unprofessional that I wouldn't put it past her!!!!

Is there only one y1 class? I'd give it a go but let the HT know my concerns, if she then starts picking on your DD I'd escalate it to governors and then LEA.

Good advice numbum thanks! Only one yr1 unfortunately!!

I'm sure they'd be interested in the fact that you've had to pull 3 children out whilst she's been teaching them (if that happens). Definitely keep a notebook at hand and write down anything DD3 says concerning the teacher. That would include nice things though because otherwise it would just look like you were against her from the start. It's when the bad outweighs the good that you'd need to take action

Yes I'll do that-thanks. She told DD2 before she left to tell me not to send her to new school as the class were going on a really fun trip after the holidays..luckily DD2 wasn't fussed as she really wanted to leave!

Hi howlingcow:

Three things:

1. it isn't forever. I'm sure that your DD3 will be wait listed for the school your DDs 1 & 2 are at.

2. as you said, she's happy socially (which is also the case with my DDs).

3. You're probably a pretty fierce thing - so just let them know you're more than happy to get your claws out if you don't like what you see, hear or learn about later.

My advice is that at some point you'll have to talk to the teacher - just fire a friendly warning shot. Something along the lines of Yes DD3 has been talking a lot with DDs 1 & 2 about you. I've tried to assure her that you're learning too and will seek to avoid that kind of thing happening again. After all, you are a professional.

This may mean your DD isn't singled out to be the lead in a class play, chosen as much to answer, or get as many reward certificates, etc... but it will mean that the teacher understands that is about as far as she can go without a complaint.

This is more or less the compromise I've arrived at with various teachers - and it generally works. DDs are aware they aren't chosen much for things/ rewarded much - but as they get older they get less excited about that kind of thing anyway.

HTH

I would seriously question your logic on listening to such a you g child and her misgivings and another child who felt she was not being supported.

I think you should have officially complained and not listened to others but taken charge in a less knee jerk way.

Think you have string grounds for an appeal given that you have removed 2 of your children from that school for quite serious issues. Did you report either of the issues to the head or the governors before you left?

Sorry I meant strong not string!

Serious issues? .

Are you saying that the same teacher was teaching your year 5 and your year 2 last year and now is teaching year 1 next year?

I'm another who is wondering what you did to try and sort out your year 5 before moving her? I mean if my dd said that, I would be discussing it with her teacher first, trying to sort out exactly how she didn't feel supported and things like that. If the teacher didn't seem to be trying to sort it, then I'd be talking to the head.
If I moved my dd2 when she said something like that, I'd probably be moving her termly.

The questionaire it depends on what was written. If she wrote "Miss X is fat and smells" then it might be an honest answer, but it would be perfectly reasonable for the teacher to be hurt by this, and it would be rude for your dd to write it.
Or it could be "Miss X shouts at me when I get my spellings wrong" and the teacher could say that she is very hurt by this as she has spent long times patiently helping her because she knows she has difficulty. Again, it would be reasonable for the teacher to say to the child, actually that isn't right.
If the teacher hates you then she probably thinks your dd was writing what she had heard you say rather than actual thoughts too.