Mums who are very involved in their DC's school - how does it feel when your DC leave?

[Flyonthewindscreen]

I would not describe myself as very involved in my DC's school although I am a minor member of the PTA and have been either a SAHM or in part time work while my DC (now at end of yrs 4 and 6) have been at school so am usually around for pick up/drops off and school functions (less necessary as DC get further into juniors anyway).

But I have noticed some mothers (specifically mothers, haven't noticed any dads this applies to) who are at the school constantly, leading lights in the PTA, on the board of governors, generally helping out, etc. I wonder how they will feel when their DC leave? Devastated or relieved as they maybe didn't really want to have taken on so much. I don't know them well enough to ask so am asking a nosy question of any MNers who fit this description?

I had a voluntary role at the school, which came about through my involvement with the PTA. I am still doing it four years after DD left!

I never go to DD's senior school, apart from parents' day and the like, and I do miss the contact with other parents at pick up and drop off. I gather that most of them stay in their cars anyway, and there is barely any parental contact.

You don't have to stop being a governor when your children leave - it depends if you are a parent governor or some other kind (or maybe you can swap to being a community governor at that point?). A number of our governors are parents of past pupils.

I chair the pta, help out at school and generally get dragged into things.

I am happy to help out, I like children, am interested in education and really really hate housework.

I don't intend on being there so much for ever though - at our school it seems that most people start to wind down by the time their dc's hit year 4or 5. The pta thing in particular is a pita and i will be glad when i have done my stint!

I get quite involved with DD's school. I like helping and feel it benefits DD, hte school and me. As she gets older, I expect to have more free time and I expect to direct this elsewhere. I enjoy helping the school, but I won't be sorry for more me-time either.

Thanks for replies. ijustwant8hours, the winding down thing as DC get towards end of juniors is familiar in my DC's school as well. However I have noticed a few mothers who have year 5/6's and seem determined to be involved in everything heavily until the bitter end which is why I posted.

Sounds like ds's old school. The older years' mums seemed to have some kind of cliquey death grip on the PTA to the exclusion of all but the pushiest of younger years' mums. I went to a couple of PTA meetings seeking to get involved but I just couldn't pretend to be that pushy!

I am very involved at my local school - I joined the PTA in the middle of my eldest's reception year (in january 1999!) and became a governor the following september. My DS2 left in july '09 and I had 2 years before DS3 started, I stayed on the governor's and the PTA and when DS3 started I stepped down from governors. I started reading with KS1 and now go in for an hour or so three afternoons a week to do the 'better reading partnership' with two children at a time and also to read with a couple of children who are struggling. I've also rejoined the governors but have taken much more of a back seat on the PTA rather than holding office. I enjoy being involved, I enjoy making a difference and plan to continue doing so as long as I'm useful to the school unless I need to go back to paid work. I have 5 years until DS3 leaves so have no idea how I will feel - by that point I will have had a connection to the school for 20 years!

I felt both devastated and relieved. I missed everyone dreadfully as they were a huge part of my life for 5 years. I actually started a thread about it as was feeling quite low. It wasn't clichy at all just a small group of heavily involved people.

I am relieved however as all my spare time was spent either doing stuff or worrying about it. I am still involved in a smaller capacity.

I just moved on to doing things at secondary school

Mrsrobertduvall, what is it you do at secondary school if you don't mind me asking? I had the impression that parents weren't really expected to help out or fundraise, etc.

Chair of a very active PFA...I'm in school doing something at least once a week.
We have parents' forums too.

Don't know yet, but a number of our governors are parents of former pupils. A couple of them have been around for ever, and their children left over 20 years ago.

I have always helped out in primary schools (Dad was a teacher. I was usually an elf or something at the school fayre). I would imagine I will continue to be around for a while yet.

I've stayed on as a governor at DCs Infant School. I used to go in and volunteer in the classrooms too, even after DC had left. This has ultimately helped me get a job working in a different school as a TA (was already qualified).

I find things naturally change and progress and there is no point looking to far ahead. DCs interests and hobbies change too and there are different ways to be involved. DS2 is a cathedral chorister now, and I chaperone several times a term - wouldn't have seen that happening 18 months ago.

Secondary schools still need governors and tend to have PTAs.

I'm already feeling sad about this and ds is only in Yr 5! I've got loads of 'playground' friends - other mums that I used to go for coffee with before I went back to a full-time job outside the home, but don't have time to catch up with very often now and won't see again regularly (although I'm not there every day now, I do see them when I pick ds up on an occasional day off).

We've run stalls at every school fete, dh is always Father Christmas, I go on nights out with the other mums in ds's class, many of whom I've known since he was three in the foundation unit. And I'm a governor, although stepping down next month, so I have been very involved in the school. Feels like real rite of passage stuff for me as well as for ds.